MIL gave dd3 chocolate today...

[misdee]

it was literly a tiny crumb of a piece. she seems unsettled this evening, please tell me i'm being paranoid and upset for no reason (apart from MIL going against my wishes).

[hunkermunker]

If you're not to deprive children of sweets, how young should they start?! 3 months is pushing the envelope a bit, even for hardened "Let them eat cake, chocolate buttons, crisps, etc..." mothers, right?!

[mandyc66]

not read all of thread but I dont think a 4 month baby should be eating chocolate!! Shouldnt be on solid food full stop!! No one should feed your baby without your permission! Sweets arnt all bad but if they are given in moderation then I dont see the problem1

[misdee]

i have never said my children dont have sweets, in fact they have swrrt things a lot, MIL is a choclholic, so there is always chocolate about at theirs. i just donmt want my dd3 who is now 4months old, to have chcocolate just yet. and i want to be the one to give it to her, when i decide she is old enough.

[fletchie]

I just though I would add my two penneth worth - I am a mum of two and a teacher. All I can say is that when we have christmas parties and such at school, the children who are not allowed chocolate and sweet things behave like crazed addicts. They wolf as much as they possibly can before mum can intervene and completely neglect the savoury options. I am totally behind giving a child a healthy diet and this should begin from birth. I would also be a bit peeved if someone gave my baby chocolate without asking. But I do think you could be asking for trouble by totally depriving a child of anything sweet. After all we all like to treat ourselves to the odd chocolate - no food is 'bad' for you, it just depends on how much of it you eat.

[groovybabe]

Yeah i'm here mandy!

[mandyc66]

this wont make sense to anyone....are you there groovy!?

[misdee]

dd3 actually seems to have allergies as well. poor luv had eczema and atopic shiners. think she suffers hayfever as her eyes are very red.

[misdee]

thing is, their kids have allergies as well, their ds4 had bad milk allergy, and he wa son soy milk then goats milk when older. MIL had to stop bf him as the diary was getting through to him via her milk. this was 21years ago.

[roosmum]

sorry to hear that misdee...it's a shame that we cAN'T trust our (almost) nearest relatives to do what we say/want for our own babies huh?! i'm so sceptical abt them that i prob won;t even believe them if they say they haven't fed him anything...
i bet they will - which wd be so sad as then dh & i will miss roo's first bit of proper food...
grrrr!

[lunavix]

I'd be fuming.. but I'd like to stick up for cod in that misdee didn't mention her first two had allergies before. In which case MIL should DEFINATELY know better.

People take no notice do they. Ds was weaned very early, and MIL feeds him junk daily much to my annoyance and shouting. Friends and family have always given him 'treats' - the most annoying to me is hula hoops. He's 14 months, has only 5 teeth, they don't melt, and he's choked 4 times on them. Still, he's given hula hoops.

[misdee]

thats why i'm not 100% at leaving hewr with them at the weekend. that and i havent got enough milk in the freezer, so would have to have a couple of cartons of formula handy just in case. so am not going. that and dh is ill.

[roosmum]

misdee - fil tried to feed ds a boiled sweet at abt 4 wks...& carried on like it was some joke even after i'd said NO. followed by trying to get him to suck on chocolate fingers a couple of wks later, it makes me MAD! pil are looking after ds next wkend whilst we're at a wedding & i dread to think what my baby (who's only ever been bf at 19wks) will be forced to eat, i hardly want to leave him with them azs i just can't trust them not to feed him rubbish, sigh
just because they used to feed their kids anything/everything ridiculously early, they think they can feed mine , it's just not on.

[mears]

Misdee - I would have been absolutely fuming. Infact MIL went to give my DS1 cream off a cake at about the same age and I shouted at her!!
Tell her clearly that you are wanting to exclusively breastfeed until 6 months and you do not want her to be given anything else to eat. Tell her about risk of allergies etc. Be firm, she is your baby. You decide what she eats and when.

[busyalexsmummy]

Ps and i agree with theprisoner, why do other people think its their godamm right to feed your kids what they like?? I always check with the parent before giving a child something, besides all the health reasons its just bl**dy politeness, something that alot of people nowdays dont have.

[busyalexsmummy]

WOW 3 chocolate at 3 months!!!!!! and ice lolly????
I would have gone spare, that is totally unnecessary. I think you need to sit fil and mil down and explain why their behaviour is totally out of order.
I think giving a child who cant ask for it chocolate/crisps/ice lollys is bang out. it makes me sick seeing people in the street feeding their 6 month olds a bag of milk buttens or a bag of wotsits, WHY????? they are not asking for it so why give it to them and get them into bad habbits and sugar cravings from early on??
Im no earth mother or anything but I endeaver to do the best i can for my son, He only had things like rice cakes/bread sticks/raisons/grapes etc up until my dp's cousin gave him choc whilst babysitting on afternoon(which i wasnt too pleased about), hes now 16 months , he occasionally has crisps, but only jumpys or pom bears as they have no artificial rubbish in them and rarely does he have chocolate. I dont think hes deprived in any way and he never tries to take sweets/choc off of other children.

[ThePrisoner]

Why does anybody think it's OK to give someone else's child (of any age) anything to eat or drink without asking the parent/carer? I have childminded children with severe food allergies/intolerances, and for families with moral or religious reasons for not eating certain foods, and get really ratty with other parents at toddler groups etc. happily giving out biscuits, drinks and even sweets to children that they don't even know!! WHY???

[hunkermunker]

Misdee - realise my post was a bit flippant - would be totally livid with MIL if she had given DS chocolate. V difficult situation though - sympathise greatly.

FWIW, a crumb of chocolate won't be the reason she's unsettled IMO. But if there's a "reason" you can give to unsettled behaviour in a baby, you always will - but some nights they're just unsettled.

Don't worry, but try to explain to your MIL in words of one syllable why she shouldn't do it again!

[koalabear]

misdee - i AM actually alergic to chocolate - was given it as baby and ended up in emergency - if you baby is ok, there's nothing to worry about - but i would speak to MIL - there are generally good reasons we don't give unsuitable foods to little people

[oops]

Message withdrawn

[hunkermunker]

Yeah. What Marthamoo said

Coddy, can I feed your children my breastmilk? Go on, please. You're an OTT weirdy if you say no.

[marthamoo]

Well she's far too young and your MIL is bang out of order (I have never said that either, soph!)

Top and bottom of it though is that no-one should give something to your child, whatever their age, without checking with you first. You're entitled to feed your 9 month old chocolate HobNobs and think that someone who doesn't is OTT - but you are not entitled to take that decision out of their hands and feed them these things yourself.

My children do have chocolate, crisps and biscuits and (shoot me down in flames) the occasional McDonalds. But that's my decision, for my children.

I don't even give my bf's dd (2) a biscuit or chocolate without asking her first. It's polite!

[Tommy]

My Mum gave my DS2 ribena when he was really young and had only had breastmilk - I went mad at her (fortunately it was my Mum and not my MIL)so I sympathise with you misdee although I wouldn't worry too much - it's probably hurt your feelings more than your DD's health