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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

BFC Advice please - Newborn low blood sugar

64 replies

Hulla · 21/08/2009 09:55

I'll try to keep this short and would be grateful if anyone has any advice or experience they can share.

My dsis had her baby yesterday, 3 weeks early, 6lb 10oz. She had gestational diabetes and ds was born with low blood sugar. She was taken to theatre for stitching and the midwife gave him a bottle of formula.

When she came out of theatre and was on the ward, ds woke to feed, she used the buzzer because she didn't know how to bf and asked the midwife who snapped at her and took her ds away to ff.

She has been told that they will need to bottle feed him because he needs regular feeds because his blood sugar is low. The will "let [her] try breastfeeding" today.

They also planned to ff him in the night and let her sleep. I haven't yet heard how that went.

I asked if she could suckle him even if he still had to be given formula top ups for his blood sugars but my dmum snapped at me about putting pressure on my dsis.

Is this right? I know that what is best for lo is the most important thing but I thought they might have syringe fed him (I did this with dd when I struggled with her latch, syringe fed ebm). I don't know if there is anything I can do but I feel really sad because I know she wanted to bf.

OP posts:
masonicpixiesreadthedailymail · 23/08/2009 13:09

my dd was taken off and given formula via ng tube immediately after birth. I didn't see her for 2 hours. Hypoglycaemia can have profound consequences so I think whatever it takes to limit that is the best thing really

However, I was encouraged to express (alas with a pump - really should have been shown how to hand express colostrum) When dd later was in NICU and on IV fluids, I had loads of support from specialist BF counsellor employed by the hospital. She encouraged lots of skin to skin (kangaroo care) and my attempts to bf dd - even though dd was really v poorly and not v likely to bf. I pumped regularly - sniffing a little hat and looking at photo of dd. She then had this via ng tube and formula only used as last resort when there wasn't enough ebm.

Hope yr dsis gets more support with feeding

masonicpixiesreadthedailymail · 23/08/2009 13:11

x posted Hulla.

'well he's bottle fed for now' is an awful comment from the mw

diddl · 23/08/2009 14:34

Tell her to have the courage to bf if that´s what she wants!
Babies don´t let themselves go hungry!

diddl · 23/08/2009 14:44

Really, if her baby is latching on, that´s about 2/3rds the battle!
But she´s really not getting the support she needs, IMO.
But even mixed feeding wouldn´t be the end of the world.
But if she could just give her baby one good feed, and see that he settles and sleeps until he wakes for the next eed, it might help her realise she can do it.
And not to worry if another feed was wanted after 2hrs.
Bmilk is eaily digested, so they get hungry sooner than with formula.
Plus, you don´t know how much they´ve had, unless you express, of course.

Hulla · 23/08/2009 18:01

Thanks masonicpixies and diddl, she is very positive since she got him to latch on on her own after I left. The midwife has told her to try latching him on before every bottle feed.

If she can mix feed then I think she'd be really pleased but I thought she'd need to stop bottles now to get her milk supply up.

The city she lives in has the lowest bf rates in the country (or at least did a year or so ago) and now I don't really wonder why.

OP posts:
diddl · 23/08/2009 18:15

Well, if she can, it would be better to forget the bottles.
I wouldn´t "top up" a bfeed with a ff.
If I was going to mix, I would probably for example choose a late night/early morning feed to get as much rest as possible before the next feed.

Hulla · 23/08/2009 18:40

I agree diddl but I don't think she'll believe me since its advice from mw. I hope LLL give her good advice.

OP posts:
diddl · 23/08/2009 19:03

Why does she want to mix feed?
Bfeeding is not so much hard work as tiring.
My first was feeding almost every 2hrs day & night at first.
Luckily I wasn´t working, & got through it by knowing that I could sleep the next day.
Housework went on the back burner.
I kept up with the washing and kept ironing to a minimum.
Have an understanding hubby!

Hulla · 23/08/2009 20:06

My dh does the washing and ironing

She always said she wanted her dh to be able to feed her ds too. I said he could do other things (co-bathing is nice, carry in sling/push in pram - all lovely for bonding). Her dh wasn't very supportive of bf when she was pg. He loves bottle feeding so I can't see her taking it away from him (for want of a better expression). Between him and my mum she doesn't have a lot of support.

I know nothing at all about ff but my nephew woke this morning and looked to me like he was rooting etc but dsis said he wasn't due a bottle for an hour. I felt kind of sad that hes on a little timetable - perhaps you have to do that if you ff. I don't know but it seemed sad hearing him cry. I fed dd everytime she so much as squeaked at 4 days old.

OP posts:
diddl · 24/08/2009 08:56

I think if you "mix", you shouldn´t give more than one ff per day.
That´s sad about her hubby, IMO.
Almost sounds like he´s jealous that she can do something he can´t!
So it sounds as if she´s not going to bfeed after all.
Well, if her hubby loves bottle feeding so much, I´d let him do the night ones!!
I cannot understand why anyone would but a mother off bfeeding.
Aside from the "breast is best", it´s cheap, easy and much less hassle than sterilising bottles!

Hulla · 24/08/2009 09:12

All of his family ff. He just sees it as normal. In a gift pack from his sister they received 2 tins of SMA, a steriliser, dummies, 4 Dr Browns bottles and a travel-thing for warming bottles.

Dbil did say to me a few months ago that seeing me bf had changed his mind about it (he'd never even seen it before) and he thought it would be lovely for dsis to do if she could but I think that since he's been feeding the baby he quite likes how things are now. They told me yesterday that "he loves his bottles" (ds).

I haven't spoken to her today yet but I'll update on how she's getting on.

OP posts:
thesecondcoming · 24/08/2009 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hairymelons · 24/08/2009 09:39

Do let us know how you get on with the complaint too- maybe it will make the difference for someone down the line. I can't quite believe that this kind of thing goes on- your sister's wishes were completely undermined for no good reason. It would be just as preposterous to force someone to BF that didn't want to, why don't the HCPs see it like this?
Why didn't Dsis want to see the BFC? Did it feel like too much pressure?
You can feed on demand with FF, just like BF. As he's only 5 days old there's no need for him to be on a routine. I think even GF might balk at a routine at 4 days old! Really hard to approach without sounding like you're criticising though. Could you ask if she feels let-down when baby is rooting? Or talk about when you were feeding a tiny baby on demand?
Hope things work out for your sister

hairymelons · 24/08/2009 09:41

"She has told me that when she asked to bf at the hospital the midwife replied "well he's bottle fed for now" and so she feels she got no choice."

No choice? That is the saddest thing about this.

fishie · 24/08/2009 09:47

your poor sister and her baby, this has made me really cross. it really isn't too late though, i didn't get ds latched on AT ALL until he was 5 days old after receiving similarly dreadful bf support in hospital.

as i saw on another thread, if there is milk there is hope. if she wants to exclusively bf then she can, but she will need to speak to a bfc to get advice about how much formula the baby has been having / may need to continue with for a while and how to stimulate the milk supply.

diddl · 24/08/2009 09:57

I think unfortunately the new mother seems undecided & is perhaps torn between her wishes, OPs wishes, and hubbys wishes!

fishie · 24/08/2009 10:03

i would just like to see the op's sister having enough support and information to make her own choices, not have them foisted on her.

hairymelons · 24/08/2009 10:43

thesecondcoming I know what you're saying, it's a really fine line between giving support and influencing/ pressurising someone. I'm sure, however, if the OP's sister had never expressed a desire to BF she wouldn't be pushing her into it.

It's tricky because there can be so many difficulties at the beginning and it's hard to give support without making someone feel like they should be doing it. I needed all the support and encouragement I could get but I can see how, for someone else, that could be taken as pressure to BF.

But what choice does the OP have? Given that her Dsis said she wanted to BF and also that she received no support in those crucial first few days, I think I'd rather risk offending than not help her at least try it.

Hulla · 24/08/2009 10:48

I didn't raise the issue of bf with her at all because I knew that my family see it as pressure when ff is the norm. I do imagine she feels stuck between a rock and a hard place with me, her dh and mum. But she asked me not to come to the hospital because I was going to cancel my visit to MIL a 100 miles away in order to be there and the midwife had told her she was going to help so she didn't feel she needed me.

When she came home from the hospital she tried to bf herself but because she hadn't been shown anything about positioning etc she held ds like you would when bottle feed and couldn't get him latched on. I sent her a message in the morning to say I was going home (live 80 miles away) but I'd visit in a week and her exact response was:

I was hoping you would help me breastfeed? My boobs are leaking all over the place & he's sucked them a bit but don't know what I am doing, could do with your help? x

So I tried to help. I have returned home now because I don't want to intrude on their family time and she has the number for LLL. She won't see a bfc because she's too embarrassed and because she doesn't think there is any rush since speaking to the midwife yesterday.

I am not qualified in anyway to help her but she knows I am here if she wants advice or support. Plus my dd was mixed fed really early on (a long story) so my sis knows that I don't have a problem with ff.

I am just in the middle of putting together my letter to the PALS dept and Infant Feeding Co-ordinator at the hospital. I have discussed it with dsis and she is happy for me to complain on her behalf. I am angry that she told them so many times that she wanted to bf (before and after her ds was born) and they have ignored it, gave a bottle when they should have used a cup/syringe, not helped her to express until day 3, not shown her how to position ds or help him latch on and then told her its fine because her milk doesn't come in until day 4 so it doesn't matter anyway.

She said to me last night that if she can bf then she will but circumstances were against her so she isn't going to beat herself up about if she ends up ff.

OP posts:
Hulla · 24/08/2009 10:50

Thanks hairymelons

OP posts:
foxytocin · 24/08/2009 10:54

I haven't read the whole thread so apols if already suggested. Have you told her about Biological Nurturing / Baby led attachment?

Have a google for Baby Led Attachment and a useful link from the Australian Bf Association will come up. there is also www.biologicalnurturing.com which has a good pdf leaflet

maybe these 2 links, sent, will give her some insight and impetus to do some of it herself?

Hulla · 24/08/2009 11:08

Thanks foxy, she did that and was thrilled when he latched on and suckled for a bit. It was amazing to watch him bob towards her nipple. He is so tiny and floppy but he absolutely knew where he was going!

OP posts:
foxytocin · 24/08/2009 12:36

then maybe you can now gently encourage her to take things slowly. keep friends, family and other well meaning visitors at bay and encourage her to 'babymoon' with him. Like a honeymooning couple they can spend as much time in bed leisurely getting to know each other with both of them wearing nothing more than what is essential for as much as possible. encourage her to let him gently take the lead and she follow. no doing housework or showing the world how quickly she can 'get back to normal life' iykwim.

thesecondcoming · 24/08/2009 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 24/08/2009 15:52

Where´s her HV in all this?
They come out every day for the first few days, don´t they?
She needs to be able to talk to someone with no one else there!