baby was given donated breast milk without my consent

[ruty]

i just wanted to share something that happened to me when i had my ds and see what people think. After a 30 hour labour and an emergency caesarean at midnight, i was taken to the observation ward. I asked for some helo to breast feed my little ds, and the midwife tutted, yanked his head onto my breast, and he started to scream, he had previously been quiet. She gave up after a few yanks [she bruised his ear quite badly] and i asked if i could try later on, hoping someone nicer might be around. I spent half an hour with my babe, struggling to keep awake after all the drugs, my body was still completely numb, and he just rubbed his nose at my boob and was quiet. I had promised my dh i wouldn't fall asleep with ds in the bed as i was so drugged up [wish i had kept him with me now] and i was so worried i'd fall asleep on him i asked the midwife to put him in his cot, at which point he started to cry. She took him out straight away, saying she was going to walk him around. I wanted her to put him into my bed again but she was gone. Five minutes passed, i was listening for his cries, i couldn't hear him. I felt terrified. I rang the buzzer. She came back, without my baby. I asked for him back. She tutted and went off. I waited again, and then buzzed again.
Another midwife came, and i asked where my baby was. She said 'oh, he's having a good feed.' I couldn't believe my ears. What do you mean, i said, what is he having? She looked shocked. 'I thought you knew' she said. He's having some donated breast milk. I started to cry. My baby had been out of my body for half an hour and she had taken him from me and given him someone else's milk. When my baby was brought back, he was fast asleep, and slept for the next 24hours. It was a big struggle to breastfeed for the next week but finally we managed it. I still have terrible separation anxiety with my ds, and have nightmares about him being taken from me. Also, he developed an allergic gut problem, bleeding and mucus in his gut, which i was told by a NCT bfeeding counsellor may have been triggered by him not having my colostrum as his first feed. He is 8 months now, and i still feel down about it, tho he is wonderful, despite his health probs. I wrote a letter of complaint to the hospital, but got a halfhearted apology. the DBM shouldn't even have been in the Observation ward, but it had been signed out [with parental permission] for another baby. Just wondering what others thought about this. I'm finding it hard to get over.

Gosh they actually put in th notes about no permission. Dreadful. I would ask for a meeting with a midwife so they can explain why this happened - if they can!

ruty, that's an awful story. I have no idea whether the donated milk would have actively harmed your baby, but in a way, it's secondary to the errors in your care.

I don't think suing is going to get anywhere.

Instead, hgow would you feel about writing again, and asking for a meeting, so you can go over your notes, express how dreadful you feel, and let them tell you how it will not happen again? Include the stuff about the poor and unsympathetic care in general.

I think you should definately talk this through again and complain officially as well. I dont mean suing, but to ensure that this does not happen again.

Am so, so shocked.
I was given breast milk from another mother when I was born - this however was in France and thirty years ago.
I can't recall the french phrase but it translated as 'milk from mothers of good character'
I'm not surprised you're still upset now. I had an emergency c-section and was traumatised enough by that let alone something like this as well.
Hope you can find some way to find closure.

must type my posts more quickly!

how do i complain officially? I have already written a letter of complaint. i guess i'll have to write a letter to the next one up, must look again at the procedures.

I would imagine write to the director of the hospital

Where did the first letter go?

it went to the first rung on the complaints commision, some bloke in charge of complaints. He sent it to the head midwife who sent me back a somewhat patronising and hidden apology.

Agree with Tiktok. I think you should have a face-to-face meeting with the Head of Midwifery so that she can understand the impact this has had on you. It might help you to know if mearures have been in place to stop this from happening again to anyone else.
Written permission is usually sought for donated breastmilk to be given to a baby in units that have donor EBM available. I personally think it is unlikely that the EBM has caused allergic gut problems TBH. Very preterm babies are given donor EBM until their mothers can produce milk for them and can actually be life saving.
That is not to dismiss your concerns - I too would have been upset and angry if this had happened to me. There was no need for your baby to receive donor milk that would have been more use to a baby that needed it. What you needed was time spent with you to help you feed your baby with your own colostrum.
Write again to the Head of Midwifery so that you can get some resolution.

Alternatively you could writr back to the Chief Executive but formal complaints usually need to be lodged within 6 months.

Found this for you complaints procedure oxford

You actually have up to a year.
Go straight to the top and write to Chief exec. Also contact patient liaison service. HTH.

i thought i'd made a formal complaint already! Do you have to write two or three letters to do this i wonder? Head if midwifery, to her credit, came to see me in hospital at the time and apologised, so i wasn't really expecting my letter to go to her, i wanted to make a formal complaint, but letter just got redirected to her. I have no problem with DBM in life saving or even life improving situations, but no one actually knows the risks with allergy risk children and if its not necessary or wanted should not be given.

thanks for link mears..

Ah, there you go!

What you could do is write and tel them your concerns. Yes you have made a complaint already but now, 8 months on you are still troubled by it.
Have they changed their procedures as a result of your complaint? Were proper procedures adhered to in the first palce? Apart from apologising, what did she say to you?

By the way, the letter will be redirected to her as a matter of course to answer the complaint. Means it is well and truly logged though.

The thing is with your first letter, it was just shuffled around and like you say, passed back to the people you were complaining about really. I dont imagine anything came of it other that whoever made the error, thinking that it would keep you happy.

she basically said they hadn't done anything wrong but would make sure it didn't happen again! confusing? The woman who runs the DBM programme was horrified and said it was totally against policy, the head midwife didn't. Nor did she respond to my complaint about the agressiveness with which the MW handled ds , or the bruising on the ear, or`her unwillingness to help me bfeed. she skirted every issue. It was only the woman who runs the DBM prog who was at all helpful.

nothing wrong? ffs! the woman is obviously just trying to cover up the huge errors made in her department

DBM woman also said 20 ml, which he was given far too much for a newborn's stomach to handle.

You could ask to see the policy. I would re-complain and say that your initial complaint was done when you were emotionally unable to deal with response properly as you were a new mother recovering from a traumatic birth experience. Now you are in a better state to deal with it. You want to know their policy and what steps have been taken to ensure this does not happen again.

I am not surprised that the JR did that. I had an awful time trying to bf there. DD'd nose was splurged into my breast many times with no real advice or help. I was an exhausted tearful wreck. I was really lucky as someone suggested I transfer to a community unit which I did and it was wonderful.

Theres no way I'd stand for JR giving DBM in such a way. It makes me really angry as I donated EBM to them until DD was 6 months old. It was blooming hard work and to think they have possibly been squandering the milk in that way instead of using it for babies who really need it is awful. They should have given you the support you needed - not give milk to shut baby up.

I hope your complaint goes well.

Emma
x

Despite having a traumatic hosp birth experience myself and read endless accounts of others' stories, there are always stories like yours to shock me, ruty. You have my heartfelt sympathy - and anger on your behalf.

If you need support and advice in taking this further, AIMS may be able to help. Their helpline no. is 0870 765 1433. There are also some extremely well-informed and supportive people on the ukmidwifery mailing list - open to mums as well as midwives - if you post a message there.

I've also had some very useful support from the Birth Trauma Association.

Hope some of this is of use. Get the support you need and take whatever action you need to take to draw a line under it for yourself, and to feel reassured that it will not happen to other mums and babies in future.

Good luck and let us know how you get on. Hugs.

thanks for all the advice and support. My gp and the midwives have all been slightly embarrassed and not wanted to talk about it so its good to have this forum. ik always thought the JR was a good hospital, i did get good care on the whole from the docs, but the midwifery care was awful.