Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Does anyone else not enjoy breastfeeding?

28 replies

pinkspottywellies · 16/05/2009 21:13

Cause I don't.

I bf dd until she was 18 months and am currently bf 12 week old ds. But dh said the other night, when I was about to feed ds again 'but you like it don't you' and the HV asked the other week if I was enjoying it.

And I don't. I don't suppose I would like bottle feeding either because either way it's just sitting giving your baby milk. I guess I breastfeed for the convenience, cost and of course benefits to baby and myself but I know lots of people who find it a good experience and I guess I'm just indifferent.

Just wondered if anyone else feels the same.

OP posts:
shish · 16/05/2009 21:29

I know what you been. Ds1 was BF and ds2 is bottle fed. It makes no difference. You feel like you're just feeding and doing nothing else all day. I enjoyed it much more once ds1 went on to solids. Makes the day more routine. I guess also by that age they're so much more responsive - Maybe that's also part of it?

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/05/2009 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

smellen · 16/05/2009 21:42

No. I'll agree it's hard work, and takes up a huge amount of time (especially in the early months), but I like it most of the time. Would be great though if DH had breasts too - would be lovely to delegate it when feeling really tired, and has meant that i have had to miss a couple of social engagements I would really have like to go to.

But on the whole, has really helped me bond with the DSs. Not saying this to be smug, but an honest response.

HumphreyCobbler · 16/05/2009 21:46

I sometimes love it. I sometimes feel actual despair that I have to do it AGAIN. Sometimes I do it without noticing.

So a mix there then.

dan39 · 16/05/2009 21:58

Right with you on this - I am bf 14 week old dh and I would not go so far as to say I 'like' it. Its hard work, its time consuming, it hurts my left breast, I get anxious about how much she is getting,I am SO tired as I am up thru the night. I do think its convenient cos of not having to make up bottles and sterilise and all that stuff - but tbh its better in theory than in practice.

And I am epecially pissed off tonight as I have a sore, blocked duct again - and I am doing everthing right!! I feed upright during the day and lying on my ide at night to make sure I drain each breasy properly so that, coupled with fact that dd up all last night feeding, makes me feel very sorry for self!

I would love to be oe of those people who say they love it. But I am not - so you are not alone!

devotion · 16/05/2009 21:58

i loved it and was so gutted that my 2nd did not. She weaned herself off at 9.5mths. Since then she has always refused milk.

I am really looking forward to breastfeeding again next time I have a baby.

I use to love those skin to skin moments especially at night as we lay side by side and I would be breastfeeding them, their little hands tickling your neck or touching your face. Then when they are so full and look almost drugged as they drift off the nipple and cuddle up to your skin.

I am quite a hyperactive person so breastfeeding makes me slow down, sit down and take some quiet time out. It relaxes me. My two were also fast feeders so it never bothered me.

I can not believe you breastfed up to 18 mths if you really didn't enjoy it. They don't actually need much milk at that age anyway? Its obviously great you did and hats off to you but surely your child would have sensed how you were feeling when you fed them and surprised you managed it.

smellen · 16/05/2009 22:09

Dan39 - take some ibuprofen (if you haven't already). I used to suffer terribly with blocked ducts/mastitis in the first 3 months (improved greatly once feeding properly established). Also, dampen a flannel, microwave for 20 seconds and apply to area with blocked ducts for a few mins before each feed. Feed from the affected breast first at each feed until it's cleared. Use cold compresses between feeds to relieve soreness and inflammation. Sleep without bra (I used to fold a muslin over the breasts to stop the leaks) and if at home, where loose clothing and go bra-less if you can.

Good luck to you. Honestly I really struggled in those early months too, but it gets so much better - you are really very nearly there, so don't pack it in just yet (not that you have suggested you were considering that - but that's how I felt some nights )

Sorry to hijack your thread Pinkwellies

laumiere · 16/05/2009 22:23

I hated BFing the first time I tried it, but really like BFing my second baby, even though yes it's hard sometimes. I think it is because DS1 was indifferent to the breast (he has CP) but DS2 LOVES it, he looks visibly relieved and so happy when he gets the breast. And I can be happy feeling that I've made that happen.

Imoverhere · 16/05/2009 22:26

Thank GOd, I thought it was just me. I BF dd for 15 mths and DS (also 12 weeks) now being BF. I don't find it difficult, but the tie of it I find depressing and I certianly don't find it a bonding experience. Still, I will do it for DS as I feel it is best for him and it wont be forever.

Imoverhere · 16/05/2009 22:28

Just re-read my posting and I sound really cold. I don't mean to. I love by DD and DS dearly but I struggle with the tiredness and feeling tied to my baby constantly (although DS is a v good boy and certainly easier than DD).

Just wanted to confirm that I love my DC dearly and BF because I want to (just don't enjoy it like I read your supposed to).

Meglet · 16/05/2009 22:29

Oh, it drove me mad after about 6 weeks. DD was loving it, but I am unable to sit still for more than 10 seconds so I got really irritated by it and slowly went a bit mad, I knew I needed to do something when I would cry when I knew a feed was needed. Finally stopped at 4 months and relaxed around dd again.

I really wished I could have enjoyed it .

BeehiveBaby · 16/05/2009 22:30

DDs were fed almost exclusively to 15mths and 13mths but I never enjoyed it as such. I didn't really expect to though....also didn't expect to find it as practically easy as i was though. I sometimes envied mums who had proper reasons to stop . I know that is a terrible, chucking off Mumsnet worthy thing to say but it is true! I still feel like a failure for stopping when I did as it was entirely my choice.

PinkTulips · 16/05/2009 22:45

i hated it with dd up until 6 months, didn't mind so much after that but was still relieved when we stopped at 12 months.

with ds1 i enjoyed it more, he fed more quickly and less often and i didn't have reflux and colic to deal with like with dd. i fed him for 30 months and had times i loved it and times it drained me and irritated me in equal measure.

with ds2 i love it... 90% of the time! so much more than either of the others but there's still days i resent having to stop everything to feed, times i'd prefer to be doing something with dd or ds1 and he's being too awkward and i'm having to give my full attention to feeding or days where his teeth are irritating him and he's cranky and using me as a teether.

but like the op i think tbh, i'd find bottle feeding as irritating or more in terms of faffiness and having to give up hours of the day to feeding and nothing else.... i do sometimes feel like crying though when i'm trying to do things and dp is holding him but he wants to feed so i have to take him and stop everyithing else... times like that i sometimes secretly wish i was bottle feeding and could just say 'you feed him!'

mazzystartled · 16/05/2009 22:52

I really hated it. Not so much for the feeding and feeding, though that was wearisome enough, but more for the mad crazy hormones.
That said I had an elective section (reluctantly) with DD and it was very traumatic. I think the BF definitely helped with bonding at first.
If - big if - I have a third I will make myself BF for the first 6 weeks then take it day by day.

LeonieSoSleepy · 16/05/2009 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

EldonAve · 16/05/2009 22:58

I didn't enjoy it but I bf DC1 til 18 mths and DC2 til 12 mths. I didn't hate it either (apart from the awful early weeks)
I did it for convenience and the health benefits (theirs and mine)

Bellebelle · 17/05/2009 08:23

BF both DD's until about 9mths (stopping coincided with returning to work) and both took to BF'ing very easily. Can say that I never really 'enjoyed' it although I did think that from a convenience point of view it was preferable to bottle feeding. I'm really glad I did it for the bonding and health benefits but with hindsight can see that it affected my mood both times and I was quite 'low' both times (would probably been diagnosed with mild PND if I'd spoken to anyone about it). Only stopped BF DD2 about a month ago and DH says that he's never seen such a quick personality transformation in someone!

It makes me a bit sad as feel that I could have enjoyed my maternity leave time with my babies more if I'd been feeling more like myself so not sure what I would do if we ever go for a third.

Original poster
pinkspottywellies · 17/05/2009 20:36

Thanks everyone! Good to know I'm not alone in not sitting serenely feeding my children and feeling wonderful

It's like Starlight said, it's a bit like changing nappies - just a necessary part of your day when you have children! I count myself very lucky that it's been fairly easy (so far touch wood!) for us, so it's never made me totally miserable.

OP posts:
Divvy · 17/05/2009 20:41

I feel the same as HumphreyCobbler

I cant sometimes find myself putting it off too.

I find the night time the worse at the minute.

dan39 · 17/05/2009 20:46

smellen thank you for your advice - the feeding in diff positions seems to have done the trick. I feel much better today as slept better last night!!

pinktulips SO know what you mean about the dh appearing with crying baby saying 'I think she's hungry' - in the early weeks I wanted to kill him for his lack of mammaries!! And sometimes I lie between them in bed - her suckling happily on one side and him snoring happily on the other and just think, POOR ME!

EllieorOllie · 19/05/2009 23:15

oh it's such a relief to read this thread...

i cried last night when my DH handed me my 8 week old DS for the third time in five hours and said 'i think he's hungry again'.

i really don't enjoy bf-ing at all. i find it boring, exhausting and sometimes very painful. and i absolutely hate that DH sleeps through the hour long feeds. it drives me mad and i want to throw stuff at him.

but i'm not going to stop yet. mostly to annoy my mother in law, who thinks i should use formula, but also because each time i get to the end of another week i feel a huge sense of satisfaction which makes it all worthwhile.

Original poster
pinkspottywellies · 19/05/2009 23:29

EllieorOllie I want to throw stuff at DH too - he definitely gets a kick if he snores while I'm feeding DS in the night!

Good for you for keeping going - even if it is just to wind mil up! Besides the boring and exhausting would apply to bottle-feeding anyway and it won't always hurt.

OP posts:
mykeyboardhasbeendrinking · 19/05/2009 23:36

me! I bf'd both my dc for 14 months each. Never enjoyed it,but worthwhile,I think in the end.

Tryharder · 20/05/2009 06:42

I hated bf for the few first months - hated having to sit down for hours at a time, the boredom, sore nipples, backache, panicking because wasn't sure if the DCs were latched on properly or not or actually getting any milk.

I didnt persevere with DS1 but did with DS2 and am really glad I did 'cos it's easy now.

Agree with other ladies: what used to annoy me in particular was that when DP was holding DS2, if DS2 so much as whimpered, DP would hand him straight back and say "I think he's hungry" and I'd be trying to have something to eat/go to the toilet/have a shower...

But, I do have to say that I love bf now (DS2 is 12 months)

MrsMotMot · 20/05/2009 13:31

Oh my goodness I hated hated hated it for ages. I was so upset too as I had looked forward to bf when I was pg. It was hell on earth with thrush, cracks, blood, sweat, tears... a living nightmare! It seemed interminable.

Once the thrush finally, totally lifted, at 5 months (!!) it was like heaven not being in pain. Wow. So for one month-ish bf was like the posters. Yay!

Now DS is a wriggly, nosy, noisy little piglet. Feeding is like a battle as described by Leonie, although I'm lucky despite all the other traumas, weight gain has never been a problem for us. So for me it's like HumphreyCobbler says. Sometimes I think, urgh AGAIN?! Just stay onnn! And other times I'm back to being the postergal! Weird.

Swipe left for the next trending thread