what do you REALLY want to know about breastfeeding?

[LizaJ]

I had an absolute nightmare breastfeeding for the first 8 weeks and got really fed up with the fact that my experience was so different from the one portrayed in a lot of the 'official' information from the NHS etc. Being a nerdy scientist by trade (and therefore having free access to medical journals), I started to look into what the actual, clinical research says about breastfeeding, and was amazed by some of the inaccuracies that are out there.

I have been sharing the info in a blog, but so far I've only really written about the things that have affected me. I was wondering what breastfeeding topics other ladies would like to know 'The Truth' about..?

I just found that picture of the wonderfully cooperative baby with the hugely wide open mouth next to the perfectly shaped nipple misleading. I remember looking at that and back to my screaming, wriggly newborn thinking WHAT?? Also I can't work out what angle the picture is taken at which is also unhelpful.

Typical, now I want an example, I can't find one! Like the ones here, under "How To Latch Your Baby Onto The Breast" - but the ones I was looking at were photographs, not drawings. They had a plain white background which was what made it confusing to work out the angle.

How often should you feed your new born?
If i try to not feed him every 1-2 hours, and stretch it out to 3-4, am i starving him?

My experience was utter hell and awfulness.
feeding every 1-2 hrs, then one night at about 12 weeks old, he actually slept for 4 hours, but then i had such pain in my boobs that it woke me up and i had to go and express. think i had grand total of 3 hours sleep a night for 5 months.
no wonder i had PND, i was absolutely deathly exhausted to my bones.
remember gripping the work top in the kitchen swaying with dizziness crying my eyes out, just wanting to die so that i could lay my head down and close my eyes.

Eventually had to give up at 7 months, he didint then sleep through the night until he was nearly 4 years old.

this competely made my decision not to have any more children because i knew that i would probably die, i just could not go through it physiclly or mentally agai,

TEHY DONT TELL YOU ANY OF THAT THOUGH DO THEY...nononono.

bastards.

but then, in retrospect, my son is never ill.
he is as healthy as anything and has never had any of your usual childhood illnesses.

so i did something right.

do people with larger families feed the youngest ones. If so when do they fit it in

LizaJ, I just read some of your blog and it's really good. It gives lots of good information and is easy to read (even for simpletons like me!), I shall bookmark and it and come back to it for reassurance in in December if when I'm struggling

I have read some of your blog too and it's fantastic! I have bookmarked it and will be back to read more later.

The stuff about fore / hind milk is particularly interesting and I wish I'd read it a few months ago.

I wonder if it might be useful to have 'the truth about... the effect bf can have on sex and your relationship'. There was a thread on here a week or so ago and it's clear that a lot of people find loss of libido and sex a real issue.

Liza, excellent stuff.

I am tired of the way foremilk/hindmilk is explained to mothers in books and by their HCPs - about once or twice a week I post on mumsnet telling people they do not need to be in the least concerned about it, as long as their baby is feeding effectively and the mother is responsive to feeding cues. It causes such anxiety - look at the comments on your blog from women worrying about which breast produces the fat, and how long for the baby to stay on, and whether the breastmilk looks as if it has (enough) fat in it.... I could weep.

Good scientific research has been turned into something to make mothers petrified.

Thanks for the suggestions (and the pos feedback - it's good to know when people find something useful).

I'm hearing what you're saying about latching on, CherryChoc. My daughter used to violently shake her head from side to side and then snap her jaws shut as soon as she came into vague contact with my nipple, so doing it 'by the book' was virtually impossible.

endless, I had exactly the same experience of wanting C to sleep because I was knackered, but wanting her to wake up because my boobs were about to explode.

The demand feeding issue is so interesting, i.e. how do you fit it into a v busy lifestyle where you're looking after other kids etc? To what extent are there problems associated with trying to stretch the times between feeds? I shall investigate.

I was in the process of writing a post about fathers, but I hadn't yet considered the sex thing, which I guess is a pretty major issue...

this is a fab thread. Its covering so many of the things I've wondered but not quite enough to start a whole thread about

Like Starlight, I want to know why Jackbaby thinks my breasts are for blowing raspberries on. But he's only discovered this delightful property in the last month or so... he's nearly 15 months so I suppose that's ok.

I want to know

• why do they not tell you that breastfeeding hurts until baby gets the latch right and your nipples toughen up. We are all told that labour hurts (except for a few weirdos blissful individuals who only had "strong period pains" BTW whoever you are I hate you ) and we accept that, so why are we not told the truth about breastfeeding, which is that it hurts until, like any other exercise, your body gets used to it? Are "they", whoever "they" are, afraid that if that particular truth gets out, women won't want to breastfeed? Let's use our common sense for a second - a baby needs to create a fair amount of suction to extract milk. That's not going to be as gentle as a partner sucking on your nipples during sex!

• and then I want to know why there are individuals who insist that, no, nipples do not actually toughen up. Oh yes they do!! Don't bother trying to convince me otherwise.

agree Jacksmama also if people knew it hut lots to start but got better they would be less likely to give up

Like the blog

I would like to know about the changes to a mothers milk over long term nursing. i.e.past 6 months / year / two years.
As some people think that the benefits of milk disappear after 6 months

I've added the blog to my bookmarks, thank you!

I think that health professionals 'selling' bfing to pregnant women as natural and easy and enjoyable etc is counter productive as I think it will make woman MORE likely to give up not less when they find it to be none of the above! In my experience its all bs! as for bonding - that's what happens IN BETWEEN feeds but some days I am too knackered from feeding to get any of the good quality non feeding time and have to hand him over to my DH straight after!

I think the only thing that's kept me going so far (been at it for 3 weeks and have had lots of times when I felt like giving up) is because I went to a BFing talk at my local hospital before he was born which was run by the only health care professional I came across who told the truth and properly prepared us for BFing and gave us some suggestions for solutions to some problems we may come across! Most healthcare professionals think we only need to know the pros and not the cons of BFing cause we're too stupid to make our own informed decisions

I feel like there is somewhat of a cover up! research that shows positive outcomes of BFing is shared but if you suggest that there are negative outcomes you are called an idiot because its been proven that "breast is best", well just because it is in general doesnt mean it is in EVERY situation does it!. I also think that suggested good outcomes of BFing dont always even need the back up of research! its like health professionals can say BFing does this and that without evidence proving it as long as it promotes BFing! I think they could say BFing makes better looking children if they wanted and it would go unchallenged! Evidence based practice goes out the window.

things I would like to know -
is PND worse in woman who BF?
is Colic more prevalent in BF babies? (due to feeding more frequently than bottle fed babies)

Oh, oh, oh - I posted a thread recently on the nutritional value of breast milk over time... started by a ridiculous comment from a so-called nutritional expert who said that breast milk turns to the equivalent of water after a year. Good research posted on it. Will try to find a link if you think it might be useful?

I want to know why mothers of babies over 4/6 months can't donate milk. I know milk changes over time but surely if you can tandem feed and its ok, any breast milk would be better than formula?

(as someone who would like to donate now rather than wait till baby #2 sometime in the future when I'll probably be tandeming)

Would also like to know the impact of breastfeeding/sleep deprivation on pnd.
Would like to know why some women are able to express large amounts of milk and some (like me) can only get 2oz (then kick it over by mistake and weep over spilled breast milk!)
Will ponder on more...

Great blog, have added it to my 'breastfeeding' bookmarks file!

I'd like to know just how many little duct holes there are on the end of an average nipple? When I squeeze, milk beads out of about 6-7 holes, most of the time, but I always thought there were more.

What a fabulous blog!

I'd like to know about the evidence behind bf and sterilising/milk storage.

For example, do you have to sterilise breast pumps, nipple shields, bottles etc or is a good wash enough.

(I didn't bother with sterilising after reading on here and Kellymom that it wasn't necessary but it would be interesting to know whether that was demonstrated fact).

Well I think nipples "toughening up" is misleading - it makes me think of the old wives' tale that you should be scrubbing them with something rough while pg to get them ready for bf. I actually think mine feel softer since I have been bf - but the sensation in them is MUCH reduced. Often I can't tell unless I look down if DS has fallen asleep whether he has dropped the nipple or not.

Thanks for sharing that great info. I'd like to know how to keep a sleepy, jaundiced baby awake long enough to feed. I had intended to feed on demand rather than to a routine but dd was kept falling asleep at the breast. Hospital still sent me home 2 days post birth and her weight crashed which was followed by months of misery as I lost all confidence in myself. Ho hum. Before birth I was told once 'the latch' was sorted bf would be easy. What a load of toss.