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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breast feeding in public should be normalised. I think this would help:

32 replies

mumblecrumble · 06/05/2009 21:32

We mix fed so no 'lactivism' here but I do believe that Mum's choice to breast feed should be as protected and as publicised as possible to make it as normal as formular feeding has become.

Got an email from Breast Feeding Manifesto people saying that ....

...Last week the Government?s Equality Bill was published in full and we are delighted to announce that it includes protection against discrimination for women who breastfeed in public.

We need your urgent help to ensure that this part of the Bill gets as much support as possible. The Bill will be debated in Parliament on Monday 11th May and we need you to ask your MP to support the clause related to breastfeeding.

You can do this by clicking here and sending your MP the prewritten email calling for their support

I was asked to stop feeding in Debenhams once. I wish I could have replied with "do you know its against the law for you to stop me feeding?"

OP posts:
SparklingSarah · 06/05/2009 21:38

I have done so

whilst I have never been asked to stop feeding
I do wish it were "normal"
I have been congratulated

Original poster
mumblecrumble · 09/05/2009 16:37

bump

OP posts:
DitsyMe · 09/05/2009 17:33

Mine hasn't supported yet.
grrrrr

bronze · 09/05/2009 17:39

Have done

Ive never had a problem but it would make me feel a lot more secure and confident

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 09/05/2009 17:39

Done.

mollyroger · 09/05/2009 17:47

done, even though my b/f days are way behind me, sadly nothing much seems to have changed in 10 years

jollyjoanne · 09/05/2009 17:55

Have done.

Must say though I am getting a little worried about the trend in newer developments for providing 'family rooms' which are basically toilets with a changing table and a chair for breastfeeding babies. I am not sure I like the idea of being asked to feed somewhere like this, although I know that some people may prefer the privacy.

almama · 09/05/2009 21:55

Alas, I'm no longer breastfeeding, but when I was I did so everywhere and anywhere I pleased. Thankfully I never had a problem, but I am also defiant by nature - no amount of funny looks would have stopped me. (I'm sure I was the one with the look!! no one would have dared). Had anyone tried hassled me, I would have made a huge deal about it. I don't get embarrassed easily.

Of course, this speaks to my personality. I know most other woman are not as psycho rebellious as me. I've seen many mums who clearly do feel uncomfortable, and therefore rush home to bf, and this makes bfing more inconvenient, and so it goes...

As the OP says, the the sight of a woman breastfeeding her child in public must be normalised, AND the act protected by law.

Thanks so much for posting this. I've emailed my MP, and will pass this on.

LissyGlitter · 09/05/2009 22:13

jollyjoanne the "family room" at our local shopping centre has a big notice up in the breastfeeding bit saying no food or drink is allowed in this area!

I always assumed they were for shy women and muslims and the like, who didn't want to get their boobs out in public.

When I used to feed my DD in the university library, I used to go to the "cybercafe" section as it was the only area you were allowed to eat and drink in, and, apart from BF making me thirsty, I didn't want dd to be breaking the library rules! I used to be a library assistant and used to follow people round who had brought in bottles of water and shout at them if they took a sip I used to love being a library nazi!

Only problem with the university library was that it was the only place on campus that was open late and didn't have an alcohol licence, so there were a lot of young muslim men hanging about, and they used to giggle and point at me. Luckily I didn't put up with any nonsense and just carried on. I soon embarrassed them away

MamaHobgoblin · 09/05/2009 22:17

I never feed in 'family rooms' (well ok, I did once in a Mothercare room, but they tempted me in with the Dutalier chair and it was nice and peaceful!) on general principles but also because it means taking extra time out. If DH and DS and I are having lunch in, say, John Lewis if we're out shopping, I'd rather feed DS in the cafe while eating myself, than take him somewhere away from my own meal. I am Woman, See Me Multi-task!

I wonder if the whole family rooms thing is an Americanisation? I know that some of the rooms you find in US malls are very luxurious, have lots of equipment, tv, etc - so perhaps shops and malls over here just see it as something to aspire to, and it's not necessarily a way of tidying us out of sight?

Laugs · 09/05/2009 22:41

I've spent many a happy hour in the family rooms and see nothing wrong with them. If I'd happened to be having lunch in town, then I would just feed DD in the cafe, but if I was shopping and not sitting down already I would normally use the breastfeeding room within John Lewis. I saw it as a nice chance to have a chat with other mums actually, and to get a bit of peace and quiet for both of us. I can multi-task, but that doesn't mean I always want to!

All that said, I agree it probably would help normalise breastfeeding if those who were comfortable to do so did it in public. I've always fed in baby groups, restaurants etc and never had any negative comments. A couple of male friends felt a bit uncomfortable the first time, but they got over it. I suppose doing it publicly made me me feel stronger in myself as well.

Verity79 · 10/05/2009 05:40

Unfortunately I have to beg to difer.

I think that this will discourage some women from bfing in public.

To quote the document sent out by Harriet Harman:-

Mothers have to be confident that they can feed their baby in a café, restaurant or shop without the embarrassment of having the owner ask them to stop.{CUT}
In 2008, we strengthened this Act with extra 'maternity' protection, which means that if the baby is less than six months old the mother could also challenge the owner on the grounds of her maternity.
The Bill will make it clear that it is unlawful to force breastfeeding mothers and their babies out of places like coffee shops, public galleries and restaurants.

If I want to bf a 7 month old then tough tits or if I want to bf a one week old in say a town centre on a bench (no service being provided and no-one owning a public space)I have NO protection.

I brought this up with a policeman who attended my local breastfeeding cafe at an event also attended by the local MP (who is very pro-bfing) and he said....

'If we didn't put in a cut off point some women would make their 10 year olds bfeed in public and we don't want that'

A. Who bfeeds their 10 year old in public? If you have managed to get to that point (and avoided child losing ability to latch which happens at around 8 years) I think a 10 year old would have some nursing manners by then and could be asked to delay nursing until you had some privacy.

B. If a woman decides to make her 10 year old bfeed I think there is bigger problems in the family than just bfing in public.

C. I can't get my 17 month old to nurse if she's not interested let alone a 10 year old. What would you have to do? Rugby tackle them topless and get them in a choke hold @@@@@

whomovedmychocolate · 10/05/2009 07:20

Verity - I am not sure any law will solve the problem of ignorance in this country and putting limitations on the age is bloody silly I agree. However, you have to start somewhere. It's like drink driving, it's still permissible to drink a little bit and drive, but publicly frowned upon to do so. Hopefully it will become a thing of shame to make a breastfeeding mum feel uncomfortable.

liath · 10/05/2009 07:52

Thank goodness I live in Scotland - the legislation is far better here. Fancy making the cut-off age 6 months FFS. TBH any cut-off is ridiculous but at least it's 2 years old here.

EachPeachPearMum · 10/05/2009 07:59

Well, my mp is already a supporter.. probably something to do with the fact that my MP is a mother....

SarahL2 · 10/05/2009 08:32

Email sent

I always hated the "family rooms". There are some in the shopping center in Milton Keynes that are smaller than a toilet cubicle with just a bench at one end and saloon doors at the other! You get to spend your time feeding (which could have been up to 40 minutes with DS) staring at melamine walls and peoples feet going by under the doors!!!

Having said that, I never dared breastfeed in public until we went on a family holiday to Scotland - the knowledge that they couldn't ask me to stop made me much more confident. I'm determined that I won't be as shy when baby 2 comes along in December but we'll see....

SoupDragon · 10/05/2009 08:36

IIRC, I emailed my MP last time this came up. He decided that there was no need for a "draconian" law to protect bf-ing women and that providing more equipment for bf-ing mothers was the way to go. I can't remember whether or not I did reply to him asking what equipment he was planning on providing since all you really need is a pair of breasts.

SoupDragon · 10/05/2009 08:38

And this nonsense "In my opinion, private businesses should be free to choose whether breastfeeding should be allowed. Even if mothers wanted to breastfeed their baby in a restaurant, for example, I doubt they would want the restaurant owner to face a huge fine simply because somebody complained."

Snort!

ellingwoman · 10/05/2009 08:42

Have emailed. I never had a problem but can imagine feeling humiliated if someone had objected.

SoupDragon · 10/05/2009 08:47

I've emailed him anyway. It'll be interesting to see if his opinions have changed.

Skimummy · 10/05/2009 09:44

I have emailed and already had a response from my MP saying that he supports the bill. Thanks for posting this - I have breastfed my DD for over 7 months now and only had one negative experience but admit feeling self-conscious in some places...especially now that DD refuses to be covered with a muslin cloth!

I understand that the legislation will have some limitations but it is still a positive step forward.

bronze · 10/05/2009 10:13

I hate those rooms
If I'm in a cafe and youngesat wants a feed am I supposed to take the other three in with me or do I leave them to run riot?

littlelamb · 10/05/2009 10:16

It does bother me that it only offers protection until 6 months. WHY have they put that in there??? My ds is 11 mo so I guess I have no right to bf him in public

Ginni · 10/05/2009 12:07

i've e-mailed my MP.

Laugs · 10/05/2009 13:05

I do think people are taking the breastfeeding rooms the wrong way. Bronze, of course if you were in cafe with your 3 DCs you would not be expected to leave 2 of them and find a room. But you're on to your third child, surely you're used to getting your boobs out at every opportunity? It might be a different story if you were a first-time mum and your baby started screaming for milk in Tesco. Would you rather plonk yourself down in the fruit and veg aisle or at least get a seat and a cup of water? In fact, I've never seen a breastfeeding room in a cafe, they are in shops and shopping centres aren't they?

Of course some of them are crappy. In our M&S the seat is right next to a stinky nappy bin. In another shop they've basically removed a toilet from one of the cubicles and put a chair in instead - err, no thank you. But where places have made an effort to make it nice, I don't think this is because of some conspiratorial plan to keep BF out of the public view, but to give their customers what they want. They are there to make life easier, and I believe they would help more vulnerable/ less brave people to breastfeed or keep on breastfeeding.

It has annoyed me that the protection only goes up to the age of 6 months. What a stupid thing to do.