Tubular Hypoplastic Breasts - Support for those desperate to breastfeed.....

[FruitynNutty]

I hope you don't mind kat, but I've started this new thread as I'm not sure how clear it is from the title and I think we all really need the support - I know I do! I'm sure there are loads of other women with this problem so I think it would be nice if we can all share our experiences.

Other thread with links to interesting websites

I just wanted to say how grateful I am to you, kat, for bringing this up btw!

I thought I just had strange shaped boobs - just assumed, as we all have different shapes and sizes, I was just one of the unlucky ones. I'd never seen anyone with boobs like mine but I sort of excepted it after years of desperately wanting an augmentation.
Ever since I failed at breastfeeding my 1st DS, I've been told "Every woman can bf, you always supply enough on demand". This has made me miserable ever since and it always brought a tear to my eye as I know I tried so hard (if only for 5 weeks).
I now have a 5 week old DS2 and spent my entire pregnancy desperately hoping to be able to feed him exclusively, I wasn't going to give up as easily as I did with DS1 as, after all, every woman can BF and it's supply on demand right?
Now I know it's a medical condition which is beyond my control. This new revelation helps a little but still leaves me feeling angry and upset. Angry that it wasn't picked up on ages ago and upset that it's happened to me.

What interested me the most was the fact that it is connected to PCOS which I have got. Just another kick in the stomach from the evil condition which makes it extremely hard work to conceive and costs me a small fortune in waxing bills. I'm just waiting for the next thing for it to throw at me

It would be lovely to hear from women who have successfully breastfed with this condition. Also wondering how effective domperidone is? I'm seeing my GP on Weds for my 6 week check so will be asking for some......

If there are any BFing councellors out there who have come across this condition I would love to read about your experiences

Just wanted to add, I had terrible supply issues, and domperidone was the only thing (and I tried EVERYTHING) that worked for me. I tried to get it prescribed to no avail, then bought it from www.inhousepharmacy.com without a prescription. Kept me breastfeeding for 8 months although I had to supplement every few days when what I'd pumped ran out.

Wow, this is a revelation to me. I have one hypoplastic breast and one more normal one. I have PCOS.

Everything now makes sense!

My tubular breast hardly increased in size at all in pregnancy and when my milk came in.

I failed at feeding ds1, as someone told me the solution for lopsidedness was to feed more from the smaller side, so i fed from that lots and often expressed from the larger side to store for my return to work. i could hardly express anything from the smaller side, but thought that was not representative of milk production. ds1 had failure to thrive and was mix fed then ff by 4 months.

with ds2 i did no expressing but just fed from both sides lots, 1-2 hourly for the first few months. He strongly prefers the larger side, but we have managed to keep going and i am still feeding from both sides at 18months.

i suspected that there may have been an issue with milk production on my smaller side, but seeing these photos is amazing as that is exactly what that side looks like.

Thanks so much for talking about this issue, another reason to love MN!

Wow Weasle, that's really interesting, I didn't realise you could have it on just one breast! How brilliant though that you've mangaged to fully bf DS2 anyway though, you must be so proud

It's hard isn't it when the advice that is given to everyone else just doesn't work for you ie) to feed more often and milk supply will increase- I wish!

I've definitely got it much more in one breast. Nice and lopsided

I've decided, in my next life, I'm going to bf my babies until they are 21

You Jack's now 12 weeks old and weighs 13lb3oz (6kgs) He's just on formula now though so is quite a lump He's on the 50th centile for weight and head circumference. 91st for height!
Well done for May getting to the 9th! Are you persevering with the bfing then?

No, she stopped latching on

Still goes on last thing at night purely for comfort but that's the only time she wants it, when she's not hungry, just sleepy!

If you were to have another baby, what would you do? I was thinking about this the other day and I gues I'd breastfeed till day 2 or 3 (I seemed to have colostrum at the beginning but not sure how much) and then mix fed till they won't take the breast any more like this time. It sounds terrible, but it has, in a way, put me off having any more children, just becuase I know how utterly heartbreaking it's been and I'm not sure I could go through it again. Am hoping I'll find something else to feel guilty about feel better when she starts weaning

Well I don't know about you but know I know, much as it hurts me I won't be psyching myself up next time. I know I can't physically provide enough milk so won't get the same disappointment as this time and last time. Obviously I'll still feel cheated and let down (s'cuse the pun) but I won't spend my whole pregnancy desperate to get it right this time because I now know I can't.
I've heard you can take progesterone during pregnancy which could help a little but I won't set all my hopes on bfing next time.
I only wish I'd known about it when pregnant with DS1 and DS2.
Women really need to know about it, especially those who preach about everyone woman being able to bf. Yeah, it's only 1% of women who physically can't do it but we have managed t get into that 1% so anyone can, if that makes sense?

Sorry, absolutely terrible grammar, spelling and punctuation I hope it makes sense!

Buggar, I'm now feeling incredibly
A friend of mine had a baby yesterday morning. Her milk is in already. She's just told me she's got loads of milk and her boobs are like footballs. (I don't think she knows about my bfing probs)
Great, just when I was beginning to get over it. I've still loads more friends giving birth this year. What am I going to do? I so need to get over it now. It's going to be harder when I see her BFing in person
I just feel so incredibly jealous and bitter. I should be BFing ffs! It's a natural human thing to do, why have we been given such shite boobs?

Hi ladies
thinking about what to do next time...I'm thinking, buy an electric pump and start expressing as soon as milk comes in, and go to the doctor and stamp until I get a prescription for domperidone. That might help to increase supply enough to mix BF with bottles of EBM? Hopefully. If not, I will do as I did before and mix feed as long as possible, and hope it goes as long as DS did (4 months ish).

Fruity - I felt exactly the same when I saw my SIL BF, that's what started me musing on why my breasts were different. It hurts. But you really must put it behind you - you are a great mum, your DS is happy, you made him!!! so your body is amazing. You just had bad luck but think of people who have worse luck - people who can't conceive or carry babies at all...maybe that doesn't help you but it helps me, to think at least I have my DS, some womens' uteruses or ovaries are the crap thing and that's worse....

I know, I try to think about women who can't physically have children, I'm so lucky. Especially as I have PCOS - I should count myslef lucky I can have children at all. Even though it took a long time.

BFing is so small compared to everything else, I don't know why I let it get to me. I think it's because it's been taken away from me. You always want what you can't have.

Girls, I am one of the "lucky" ones who had no trouble with bf but please, please don't think that you have failed your babies.
Absolutely every mother has some issue that didn't go well. I am a bit of a hippy and would have loved to have a home birth. Well, after 4 Caesareans, I have to accept that it's never gonna happen! And firstontheway, I have 4 fabulous boys but am very of your daughter, again something that will never happen for me.
Fruity, I think you are right, we want what we can't have and feel hard-done-by if it doesn't go your way.
And I do think that in the efforts to get everyone to bf, the health professionals have forgotten that some people DON'T produce enough milk, in the same way that some people don't produce enough insulin. You would never hear a nurse tell a diabetic patient to "keep eating those biscuits, everyone can process sugar!" But my SIL who has a medical condition for which the medication means she can't bf, was very upset by a nurse in hospital snootily saying "Oh, you're formula feeding" without actually checking her notes to see that SILs meds would make a bf baby comatose!

FruitynNutty, do tell your friend about the trouble you've had with bfing. She was probably talking about her football boobs in a "Look what we have to go through" kind of way and had no idea how upsetting it would be for you.

And firstontheway, be proud of your 10mls of EBM! Every, every drop you can manage will help your dd and you should be so proud of yourself for making such an effort for your baby, lots of babies get no breastmilk at all and you are fantastic for going to such efforts for your little one under such difficult circumstances.

You all deserve a medal!

chipmonkey - you've set me off again! But in a good way It's just so comforting to hear from someone (who has no trouble bfing) who understands how we feel. A lot of women (especially on here) who have no trouble bfing can't understand how anyone can't produce enough milk.
You've got it in a nutshell;
"health professionals have forgotten that some people DON'T produce enough milk, in the same way that some people don't produce enough insulin. You would never hear a nurse tell a diabetic patient to "keep eating those biscuits, everyone can process sugar!""

Now I have some ammunition to fire at those who think I've just been lazy!

I feel like I have to constantly explain myself every time someone says "Aren't you bfing?" Perhaps I should just wear a t-shirt saying "Dodgy boobs!"

I know it's not the be all and end all but I can't help feeling every time I see a bfing mother.
It's like when I was trying for DS2, it seemed as though every one I know was falling pg after just 3 weeks of trying so was extremely of them.
Then I had my second c-section and I was of people having natural births (I wanted a home birth too)

I reckon if I have a third boy next time it might just send me over the edge (how ungrateful is that! )

It seems like there's always something to be envious of. Hopefully I won't end up a bitter and twisted old women!

Oooo can I have one of those t-shirts in a Large please

Chipmonkey agree with Fruity, feel like you've really hit the nail on the head with that comment. That's exactly how it feels, like we're told continuously that everyone can breastfeed if they try hard enough, keep feeding and you'll get there etc and with all the stubborness will in the world, it's just not happening.

I do believe, strongly that breastfeeding should be made more 'public' so that every woman regards it as the norm, but not at the expense of ff mothers, and the way in which your SIL was treated is so sad . Perhaps you could forward her t-shirt size to Fruity before she goes in if she has another baby!

And thank you, I do feel proud (now) of my teeny tiny amount of milk. I still manage to hand express approx 40mls throughout the day (though she has stopped latching on) which she has in a tiny dream feed. It's a stupidly small amount, but at least it's something I guess.

Fruity I'm sorry you're feeling a bit crappy again, must be really hard to see that. I'm lucky that no friends are giving birth in the near future, but the other 2 are still breastfeeding. It is hard. In my darkest moments I wish something would go wrong with their feeding too so I didn't have this continuous reminder of how it went so wrong with me. But that really is mean and I try to limit my evil thoughts!

Re any future babies, I will do as Kat plans also. But I do think, despite not 'getting my hopes up' that it will continue to be a very big issue for me, and I'm kind of loathed to raise it within myself again, knowing how depressed I've been about it. Even though I know next time it's not going to happen, the feelings of guilt are going to stay and it does put me off having another child naturally, but we'll see. I do try to look at it, as you've said, that we are lucky to have babies as all, but turns out I'm a 'glass half empty' girl! I think it's that feeling of being cheated more than anything. If some miracle happened and I had milk in abundance next pregnancy, I would fight whatever battles I had to in order to breastfeed, but I do wonder if, facing those issues after the first prenancy (latch, pain, cracked nipples) I might have given up anyway? I doubt it because I was so determined to breastfeed, but who knows- and if I had, I bet I'd feel better about ff than I do now having been forced into it.

It's so annoying isn't it - it's not something I want to discuss with people really so when I say 'I didn't produce enough milk' I know they are thinking 'yeah right, just didn't try hard enough' and I want to explain myself but can't. I have had people say that I gave him a bottle too early (if I hadn't he would have been very sick), didn't put him on the breast enough etc etc...well meaning 'advice' but so wrong...only my best mate (and DH) know about the THB issue because it's something I am only just getting my head round myself after a lifetime of feeling like a freak because of the way they look...

I find myself telling every one! I'm one of these people who can't stop talking once I start. I always end up saying too much
I think it's to protect myself so people don't think I gave up too easily.

No, I haven't told many people either. Just family, and DH obviously. And one of the breastfeeding mums actually, who's trying to be supportive and keeps saying that I did my best etc but then berates mums from her AN classes that ff as being regimented

That is, one of my friends who is currently breastfeeding

Well that was quite fun actually lol. First time I've come away from one of those threads smiling

hahaha, I have been manically refreshing for the past hour!

I'm also smiling, weird eh? perhaps we're finally getting over it and can laugh about it now. I think it helps that most people on that thread aren't bothered by FF

Absolutely- but it won't stay that way. Pretty soon Leonie other hardcore bfeeders will come to join in and suddenly it won't be such an amusing chat.

The thing that gets to me the most is that I'm so bloody pro breastfeeding, I'd give anything to be able to give that to my daughter. But you know what, I can't ever imagine getting to a point in my life where instead of feeling proud of something I'd achieved and simply helping and encouraging more women to do the same, I felt the need to alienate ff in order to do so. I just don't understand it!

alienate formula feededers

feeders

I know what you mean.
Do you know, when I was preg I was sooooo pro BFing that I gave others the 3rd degree about not giving in and persevering with bfing. I'd just had it drummed into me (from MN no less!) that every woman can BF. So I believed it and just thought that I hadn't tried hard enough with DS1.

It's only now that I realise how important FF really is!

Just found this thread! I believe I have tubular breasts from the sites I have seen. I am so scared. Did any of you still have colustrum while pregnant but then still didnt produce milk? I started leaking colustrum at 17 weeks and am 29 weeks now but my boobs have not grown and def like the piccies.
I feel scared to mention to anyone?