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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Water or dummy to delay feed??

48 replies

shish · 16/04/2009 15:10

Ds2 3 weeks old keeps on 'snacking' - taking silly little 1/2-1oz every 1-1.5 feeds for comfort. Can go every 2.5-3 hours if he doesn't do this. Saw HV today and they have said I can either give up to 1oz of water or use dummy to delay the feed so he tkaes proper feeds at longer intervals.

Has anyone used either of these methods before?? What would you advise?

Also been told to try on one of the night feeds tonight as he did little snacky feeds last night..

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 16/04/2009 15:12

do not give him water

maybe he needs to snack? DS was a little and often feeder especially at this age

i am sorry but i think your HV is giving ridiculous advice

a 3 week old needs milk, milk and more milk

i wouldn't personally wouldn't dealy any feeds in a baby this young

reikizen · 16/04/2009 15:12

I wouldn't do either tbh, I'd just let it sort itself out. My personal opinion would be that she is too young to fill up with water or meddle with her intake.

auntyspan · 16/04/2009 16:17

I sympathise.... DD2 was a bit like this. She's 6 weeks now and still only goes 3 hours max between feeds. She just needs little & often. My mum wants me to start stretching it to 4 hours but so far I'm resisting.

I do give water but that's because DD2 is a bit constipated. I also give her a dummy but not to delay feeding - doesn't really seem fair!

Hang in there, your DS will get there eventually.

goingnowherefast · 16/04/2009 16:51

I'm not a health professional but I'd advise feeding when he wants at this age. I always thought (from reading on here and from breastfeeding groups) that stretching feeds isn't a good idea, especially when they are so small. It may be different if bottle fed but I wouldn't have thought so.

LIZS · 16/04/2009 17:00

He's 3 weeks old, his tummy is tiny , he needs feeding little and often. Snacking is a "proper" feed at the moment especiially at night. Sorry probably not what you wanted to hear but your hv is barking and will soon be on your case if his weight gain dips!

moondog · 16/04/2009 17:06

Delay a feed?#Whatever for?
Do people delay you when you want a snack or a drink? The child's stomach is the size of a walnut. He needs feeding little and often. Your HV is a lunatic, a cruel and misguided one at that.

Jojay · 16/04/2009 17:11

Agree with everyone else - feed whenever he wants it, especially at this age. Far too young to mess around with, or try to 'train' into a pattern

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 16/04/2009 17:14

i have formula fed both my babies, and fed them both on demand. DS was a drainer of big bottles from teh start, DD was a snacker. but i fed them both as much as they wanted when tehy wanted. or as little as tthey wanted!

at 3 weeks old your baby needs nothing but milk

and delaying a feed will lead to a hungry, fractious baby who is crying and distressed and will probably be too tired and full of wind to take a decent feed

plkease feed your baby responsively, rather than trying to get him to feed when you think he ought to

i don;t say this lightly, but delaying a feed for a 3 week old baby is cruel

Original poster

shish · 16/04/2009 21:06

The reason why she said this is cos he often just wants to have a short feed for comfort or to put himself back to sleep rather than out of hunger. When he feeds less frequently he takes proper feeds (3-4oz) and doesn't keep bringing it up

OP posts:

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 16/04/2009 21:09

is he vomiting back whole feeds or just posseting?

babies do feed and suck for comfort and to settle back to sleep

it is what they do

and taking random amounts is also normal

you should not expect any pattern or routine

mppaw · 16/04/2009 21:16

He probably is too young to stretch his feeds, but I am 15 weeks in with a snacker and have been trying to get him to go longer, but he feeds every 2 hours 24 hours a day!!
This has now resulted in me starting to stop the breast feeding as I am exhausted and can not physically carry on any longer and need help with DS so we are turning to formula.

Personally I wished I had sorted this out in the earlier days rather than trying to tackle it now.

mppaw · 16/04/2009 21:18

BTW, to answer your post, I use a dummy to get him to 2 hours during the day !!

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 16/04/2009 21:20

i think it is impossible to sort it out , as it were, earlier

babies have frequent growth spurts

having had a snacky baby, i do sympathise, but i really think that you have to accept on some level that the first 6 weeks at least are mayhem and the first 6 months are fairly unpredictable!

BecauseImWorthIt · 16/04/2009 21:20

You can't 'sort this out' in the early days. In the early days they have tiny tummies and therefore only little feeds - but often.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but you need to feed him when he wants to be fed.

As Lulu says, trying to make him go without at this age is just cruel.

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 16/04/2009 21:21

i think it is impossible, pre baby, to actually imagine how often they need to feed.

mppaw · 16/04/2009 21:28

Shish, wear a sling, co-sleep and feed on demand then you wont get flamed on here for even thinking about other ways of raising/feeding your DC.

Good luck shish.

CantSleepWontSleep · 16/04/2009 21:32

Am shocked that you wouldn't feed such a tiny baby on demand.

Am equally shocked by auntyspan thinking that 3 hourly feeds are too close at 6 weeks. My ds is 6 months and doesn't go that long between feeds!

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 16/04/2009 21:38

i don;t think it is flaming

the physical capacity of a baby means tehy have to be fed little and often

i did not breastfeed, co sleep or use a sling, so i think , on those grounds, i can give advice

the one thing that i wholeheartedly endorse is feeding responsively/on demand, whether breast or bottle

because babies NEED it

mppaw · 16/04/2009 21:45

I agree babies need it, but it sounds like the OP is learning what her LO wants and has come on here asking opinions and advice etc, and so far she has been classed as cruel and her HV as rubbish !! Just not nice and supportive for the OP who is in the early days of feeding and still finding her feet.
Just think there are nicer ways to offer advice etc.

sweetkitty · 16/04/2009 21:45

Barking advice and even if he does need a wee oz or two for comfort give him it, he is 3 weeks old. As everyone else has said his tummy is so small right now it cannot hold a large feed, he needs little and often.

My DD3 is 9 months now and has never slept longer than 3 hours at a time (well very rarely), she eats loads of food during the day I know it is comfort she is looking for, she wakes and wants Mummy's boob to reassure her all is well. One day we will rectify it but right now she is tiny and it is my job to comfort her and it's only a few minutes waking each time yes a pain but they are only small for the smallest of times.

BecauseImWorthIt · 16/04/2009 21:48

Nicer ways to endorse cruelty to a small baby?!

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 16/04/2009 21:59

i don;t thikn that not feeding a hungry baby is anything other than cruel

and i said i did not use that word lightly

a baby has no concept of time and can think, oh i just need to get through the next 30 minutes. they want milk, closeness and cuddles

to not meet those needs in such a young baby is not kind or appropriate

it also shws a distinct lack of the HVs understanding of how babies are made and what they need

why the need to stretch out feeds for a 3 week old? none whatsoever

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 16/04/2009 22:00

i don;t think i have flamed or been mean

forthright, yes,but a 3 week old needs feeding on demand,tehre is no way to say it differently

Cathpot · 16/04/2009 22:25

I have sympathy of this is your first child. I also had many preconceived ideas first time round about how long a baby 'should' go between feeds based mainly on books I shouldnt have read.

I also think many people in RL you turn to for support, rarely remember what a tiny new born is actually like- they are a different creature from the baby you will have in a few months time.

I know it seems unmanagable and unending now, but if you dont give him food when he wants it is likely to be harder work for you- he will be unhappy, you will be stressed.

I hestiate to add more formal advice as I am not qualified, I am presuming he is weight gaining and you have had the latch checked and you know he is getting milk. He will get bigger he will take more, this is the first of oh-so-many stages.

In addition I would say dont let anyone make you feel guilty for comfort feeding, a tiny baby has very few needs but comfort is one of them. If it wasnt we could just feed them change them and leave them in a box the rest of the time.

I do think your HV is wrong but also I think this is more about you and how you are feeling in many ways. Often at about 3 weeks the adrenalin has worn off and the tiredness really steps in.

My second child was a completely different experience because I had more confidence and because I knew the early bit would eventually end. I hope you are feeling ok.

Original poster

shish · 17/04/2009 07:48

I feel like I am knocking at death's door. It's all new for me with the bottle cos ds1 never took it and I breast fed on demand every 1-2 hours until he went onto solids. I know you all think I'm being cruel but I really dont't know how things work with a formula fed baby. It's like being a new mum all over again but with the added stress of a toddler to look after who doesn't take too well to mummy just sitting there feeding baby all day.

I feel very tired and my whole body id aching. I was confused by the advice HV gave my so I put a thread on here.

In your opinion do you think a formula fed baby is more likey to settle down??

And before you all critcize me - the breast feeding was a complete diaster this time which is why I didn't do it..

OP posts:

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