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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

If ONE more person tells me to stop BF I will SCREAM

33 replies

wuglegg · 05/04/2009 13:27

DS (10.5mo) is currently into his 6th day of a nursing strike. An embuggerance but we will get through it.

So far the "helpful" comments I have had....

(friend #1): "Well surely you would be stopping soon anyway"

(sister): "He's just letting you know he is a big boy now and doesn't need bf"

(mum): "It's not like he needs it anymore is it?"

(friend #2): "Ooh quick wean him while you've got the chance"

I don't want to stop!!

OP posts:

abbierhodes · 05/04/2009 13:32

I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but if the child has stopped feeding by his own choice, then I think it's a little strange to force the issue. At 10.5 months, it's not really about whether you want to stop or not, is it?

naturalblonde · 05/04/2009 13:34

Gotta agree with Abbi I'm afraid. It seems to me that he's made the choice to stop, you saying 'I don't want to stop' seems to imply that any future feeding would be for your benefit not his.

angrypixie · 05/04/2009 13:45

Scream away at me too, dc3 self weaned before I was ready. I was very sad but went with the child, deciding it's ultimately not about me.

I feel for you though.

angrypixie · 05/04/2009 13:46

And of course you are entitled to ignore anyone else's opinions.

Trinityrhino · 05/04/2009 13:47

but the op has said its a nursing strike
seems to say to me that he has done this before and returned to bfing

therefore she beleives that he will start again and doesn't want people telling her that she should stop when she doesn't want to
I'm with you op

Trinityrhino · 05/04/2009 13:48

and friend no 1,sister and mum all seem to be spouting crap anyway

MarlaSinger · 05/04/2009 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

wuglegg · 05/04/2009 13:50

Yes this is his third one.

The last two have lasted 5 days. Have been related to teething and he is teething again.

He is a complete boob monster when he isn't on strike.

I really believe 10.5 mo is too young to self wean (although I do know it can happen)

OP posts:

edam · 05/04/2009 13:51

I really hate that 'it's for your benefit, not for his' line. What on earth do people who say that think breastfeeding is, some sort of treat for the mother? Because if we are going to get rewards for motherhood, I can think of things I'd rather have than cracked nipples and mastitis.

'It's for your benefit' suggests a really nasty attitude to women - even if some of the people who say this are women themselves.

Original poster

wuglegg · 05/04/2009 13:53

Re "stop telling everyone" - unfortunately my mum and sister (and dad, and sister's DP) are living with us at the moment...long story...so they don't need to be told they can see it!

Also makes it a bit more difficult to do the "wandering around with tits hanging out" bit of encouraging him back!

OP posts:

crokky · 05/04/2009 13:53

I thought that up until 12 months, a baby had to have either breast milk or formula? So seeing as he is only 10.5m, he needs to go back to bf or have formula instead doesn't he? If he was older, then it might be that he was self weaning, but surely he's too young. ? Perhaps I'm just ignorant

MarlaSinger · 05/04/2009 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BouncingTurtle · 05/04/2009 13:57

That it my feeling too Crokky.
Ignore, Ignore, Ignore, wuglegg!
Keep offering it, you'll know when he really has had enough!
Is he feeding at all? Or just very little? I'm concerned your boobs might be a bit sore, or have you been expressing?

Original poster

wuglegg · 05/04/2009 14:07

He is not feeding at all.

I am expressing 4x/day (and he is glugging it back like there's no tomorrow the little menace).

Is exactly the same as the last times just a bit longer.

Thank you for all the supportive messages (and thank you anyway for replying the not-so-supportive people )

OP posts:

MarlaSinger · 05/04/2009 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angrypixie · 05/04/2009 14:25

Glad you've had lots of more experienced people reply wuglegg.

However, mine really did self wean at 11 months - refused the breast point blank. Pushed it away - screamed if I persisted and ultimately crawled to the cupboard and handed me the sippy cup.

So it is equally unhelpful for people to suggest it doesn't happen and thus if I had only persisted for longer he would eventually have turned back to the breast.

Good luck!

MamaHobgoblin · 05/04/2009 14:37

Ah, ignore them all!

If he associates BF with teething pain, try other positions where he doesn't automatically think 'uh oh, this is going to hurt again'.

He's too young for true self-weaning, as most breastfeeding experts now seem to agree. If you know he has a tendency to avoid the boob while teething, but has gone back afterwards, then it probably is a real BF strike and worth persevering through. He'll thank you later on! Mine has gone through a BF strike and is boob-mad at 13 months - I'm so glad I didn't listen to the couple of people who suggested he was giving up for good!

TheHedgeWitch · 05/04/2009 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

alittlebitshy · 05/04/2009 16:09

No advice but I wanted to say that this is really interesting to me and got me looking at the Kellymom info on self weaning. I'd never given much thought to it and am now going to make sure I don't succumb to the idea that my 8mth ds needs less milk feeds. He's having maybe 6-8 bfs in 24 hours, that's ok isn't it?

Original poster

wuglegg · 05/04/2009 16:22

alittlebitshy - DS was certainly still having around 6 feeds a day at 8 months.

He is now at 4/day (ha well 0 at the minute obviously) with a very occasional night feed as well.

Won't touch a bottle but loves a cup.

At least he is not now soooo dependent on feeding to fall asleep ( he was during the last 2 strikes so not only did we have not feeding to contend with he also wouldn't nap or sleep!)

You are all making me feel better thank you

OP posts:

alittlebitshy · 05/04/2009 16:28

They're such determined little creatures aren't they?

Original poster

wuglegg · 06/04/2009 19:54

OK bad form I know to post the same thing on two threads but here goes...

He is still on strike.

I am off work tomorrow.

Do I

a) Give the "top off tits out come and get it if you want it" thing a really good go (not done it that much this time due to full house!)

b) Not offer at all (take the pressure off) but continue to give him EBM

c) Not even give him EBM and see if I can starve him into submission. (NB he will not starve he is humungous and drinks lots of water and eats very well)

Am open to other possibilities too.
(still not open to "(d) - give up" though although I can't see me persevering much past Easter)

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 06/04/2009 19:59

whether you believe 10 months old can self wean or not, it is fine to persevere with bfing at this age purely because it is good for the child

it isn't really relevant if the child is reluctant or not - breastfeeding is good for them and we are allowed to make decisions for their health based on that

if your 10 month old decided he didn't like broccoli, it is fine to keep offering it and hoping that he will eat some

you wouldn't say "ooh it's a bit odd to keep offering broccoli when he clearly doesn't want it - you're only doing it for your own purposes now"

wuglegg do whatever you think is best for your baby and whatever you think is right for you also
have you tried ringing La Leche League for support and very informed advice? They supported me through a nursing strike when ds was about the same age

Original poster

wuglegg · 07/04/2009 20:21

Update:

He has had no milk today. Have offered boob but not given EBM when he refuses.
Possible light at end of tunnel - he is now happy to "assume the nursing position" without fighting but still not attempted to latch.

F&Z - have spoken to NCT counsellor on phone - she has basically advised me to keep going with what I am doing and didn't have any new tricks to suggest.

Have decided I will not give EBM tomorrow but if he goes the whole day again will back away from that idea.
Hoping to make it to after Easter - will have been two weeks by then...

Wondering if anyone (on here, not ever in the world!)has come through a >1 week strike and successfully re-established feeding?

TIA

OP posts:

alittlebitshy · 08/04/2009 19:06

just bumping for you and feeling for you.x

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