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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

People! Slap me back!!

61 replies

treedelivery · 03/04/2009 20:31

I've read everything I have and I've read thread after thread....

I really want to give my 10 week baby a big fat bottle of formula. She cries and cries and cries. She burps, farts, poo's - they all make her cry. It' slike her digestive system was really NOT expecting to have to, well, digest.
I have been the chiropractors, oesteopaths, GP, HV, she has had colief, infacol, gaviscon, I have been treated for ductal thrush [ouch], we co sleep or ambynest sleep, have baby worn for weeks.

She will not not not be put down for more than 10 mins, on a good day. On a bad day I have held this child from 4am to 6am the next day.

I think maybe a massive slug of fm will maybe knock her out and she wont care where she is. She'll just be stuffed and lay there. Surely it's worth a try?

But - I want to exclusively bf. It is my job to do so, thats why I have maternity leave and 2 G cups to carry around. I can't give her such a product just because I'm finding it hard can I?

Arghhhh!!

OP posts:
ScorpiowithabigS · 03/04/2009 20:35

It won't make her lie on her own, no.

I know its so hard, keep going, you're doing AMAZINGLY

thisisyesterday · 03/04/2009 20:36

aww TD, she sounds an awful lot like my ds2 was.
you know I think it's very easy to blame breastfeeding for thigns like this, but there is absolutely no guarantee that she'd be any different with formula.
we tried big bottles of expressed milk with ds2 and it didn't help at all, he fed just as much and cried just as much.
he was just a miserable baby tbh!
actually, it turned out that he had a dairy/egg intolerance and he did improve a lot when I cut them both out, so a bottle of formula would have been awful had I given him one.

but it didn't make him completely better. he still needed ME, constantly.
things that helped? moby sling, lots of walks, white noise and rocking him to sleep.

there is a good book called "the happiest baby on the block" by dr harvey karp. if you can get over the whole "cave baby" theory he has going on it actually has a lot of rteally useful tips and some good info on why some babies seem to cry a lot.
somehow it helped me a lot just having a reason why he was doing it instead of thinking it was just because he hated me,.

I had times when I had to call dp to come home from work because I seriously thought I was going to hurt the baby because he just cried so much, so I really do know how absolutely draining and horrendous it is

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/04/2009 20:40

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MummyElk · 03/04/2009 20:43

TD it depends on your outlook. Is one bottle of formula going to ruin her? probably not. if it does make her more content, it also doesn't necessarily spell the End Of Breastfeeding (especially with G cups ) you can always combine the two.
However the cave man theory might just have something in it too - if she is a sad baby, which is perfectly possible, then maybe she does need to be close to you for a while... Sling it baby!! get her close to you for most of the day (if you can cope with it).... I tried various but i'd say for a 10wk old baby, the KariMe would do nicely...

and scorpio and Yesterday are right - you ARE doing amazingly. it's very early days, really, so please hang in there.

IlanaK · 03/04/2009 20:45

I too have been there and really sympathise. Ds1 and ds2 were not like this, but ds3 was. He was either sleeping, feeding or crying. And sleeps were hard come by - he screamed himself off to sleep in the sling mostly.

I cut out dairy from my diet on the suggestion of people on here. And it worked. He was still a high needs baby until around 6 months, but so much better than he was before. Now, at 8 months, he is so easy and content. And both he and I can eat dairy with no problem.

Just a thought.

TheProvincialLady · 03/04/2009 20:48

Thisisyesterday my DS1 was similar and had dairy allergy too. I really wish I had known sooner. He was bottle fed EBM and it didn't make any difference how big a bottle he had downed, he was just completely unputdownable.

I completely agree with SM, what you need is regular time when you can be without your DD if you want. I do think that having her 'taken' out is a last resort though (sorry, couldn't resist the mafia reference)

thisisyesterday · 03/04/2009 20:50

@ having baby taken out. it does seem a bit drastic lol

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 03/04/2009 20:57

been there, done that and bought the T-Shirt....I say get a good Sling/Wrap....and whilst it is not a wondercure, it makes the whole holding bit easier...

Things that can be a problem but aren't always easily "diagnosed"....fast and furious let down....silent reflux.....babies latch, i.e. is baby latched on properly....

Original poster
treedelivery · 03/04/2009 21:08

Think i probably have a fairly enthusiastic let down - the milk squirts about a foot. Is this average or fast

I reckon she has a bit of reflux - but I just found gaviscon 30 times more challenging than bf tbh, and not much effect. But then didn't try it for that long. I feel too tired to battle with the gaviscon, so I feel totlly shit about that as it might give her some relief.

I really wonder if there is a milk intolerance thing going on - but the thought of going dairy free is terrifying. I live one handed in a world of crying baby and demanding 4yo, I live on kitkats.

Got sling - she's ok in it but happier over shoulder and swaying.

Isuppose I was hoping a fat slug of nearly undigestible formula would just knock her out!

Agree taking her out bit drastic, formula bad [imo] but not that bad!

OP posts:
FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 03/04/2009 21:18

I don't think formula is bad....but I think that, if you are really one of those people that want to exclusively breastfeed it could be detrimental for you...iykwim.....

hoping tiktok will be around ...

Original poster
treedelivery · 03/04/2009 21:30

..ah yes tiktok. We should insist on GPS for tiktok, the we could send a car with stern looking men 'get in TikTok, we are taking you to a computer'

I am swinging between, if it helps her and me and all of us, lets try it, I will still bf, it's just a bit of formula ffs - to - omg I can't do it, it feels dirty and wrong and weak, I want to achieve 6 months exclusive bf and dd2 shouldn't have her health comprimised because she isn't the first born and because I can't be arsed to stick it out.

But infact it isn't the feeding - it's the not being put down. A formula bottle is the only thing we havent done/aren't doing. Maybe it's worth a try?

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 03/04/2009 21:37

I would be astonished if it made any difference whatsoever, but if you want to try but still have guilt why don't you try EBM first? You could even make it extra hin milky if you wanted to see if it would knock her out for longer.

ChairmumMiaow · 03/04/2009 21:42

treedelivery - think of it this way - BM is the easiest thing for babies to digest. If your DD is struggling with digestive problems, how will anything else make it better?

If you need a break get a good comfy sling and either send your DH out with her, or stick in some headphones with loud music and go for a walk around the block / across a field. You can feel what they're up to against your chest so I have found you don't really need to hear them (I listen to my ipod while DS is asleep but know instantly when he wakes even if I'm not looking at him)

You have my sympathy. I had a serious cluster feeder so know what its like to never escape the baby - he fed from 4pm to 2am one night!

maygirl · 03/04/2009 21:48

Hi Tree,
Guess who!? Call me if you want.
xxx

You already know I think you're amazing, wish I was nearer, have strong shoulder to give you a night off.

Oops have outed self!

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/04/2009 21:49

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Original poster
treedelivery · 03/04/2009 21:54

You have! Would never have found you either! Cheers darling.

Nappies greeny yellow - stink of acid and vinegar. And a bit like a fish and chip shop.

OP posts:
stripeywoollenhat · 03/04/2009 22:00

tree - sounds shit, i'm sorry. if the formula works than that's got be better than what's going on, if it doesn't then a one off try is not going to ruin everything. i've cut out dairy and it's not that hard. loads of biscuits are made with veg oil it seemed to help c a lot - worth a try?

also, that sounds like a fast let down to me

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/04/2009 22:00

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Original poster
treedelivery · 03/04/2009 22:22

Right - I need to get motivated and keep the faith. Maybe not feeding her while the milk is like a water fountail would be a start. And a renewed effort to go lactose free, right after I eat this pizza....

OP posts:
LenniEd · 03/04/2009 22:27

Tree - it really does sound like life is hard. I'd do whatever you feel will get you through. If you are thinking about formula, why not just give her one bottle and chances are it will make no difference whatsoever but then you can get on with coping in the knowledge that another box has been ticked? I really can empathise with the high needs baby though - DD was dreadful from 0-6months. I didn't enjoy her at all until she was weaned at 7mo. But that doesn't mean I don't look back fondly on her early days now - you will get through it and you will have early days memories that conveniently don't include the screaming. I'd go back to the GP about the reflux though - there are more effective treatments than gaviscon. You should have seen some benefit from the gaviscon quite quickly if it was going to work I think - it never worked on DD, I tried for a week before she was put on other things too but GP thought that was enough.

Oh and I definitely have a fast letdown and a foot is probably my average so sounds like you do too - I once managed about 3ft and squirted a toddler in the ball pool behind me at a soft play centre his Mum didn't look too pleased

march29 · 03/04/2009 22:36

hi there, just to say that i di it with my dd she is just over 12 weeks now. i found that it did settle her because even though i was feeding her all the time and sometimes all day.... she was still staying hungry. she only takes about 3oz at night thats all... but sleeps through and i still feed her in the day. i exclusively breastfed my ds(now 4) for 15 months.
my dd was the same, constantly farting and pooing and crying... and wanting only me. she still wants me but seems happier in herself.
ps. by the way i am an E size....

Original poster
treedelivery · 03/04/2009 22:36

Hi LenniEd. I feel a bit like a kid who had her icecream drop off the cone. All daydreams of positive role modelling for dd1, and playing snakes and ladders with dd2 on boob and dd1 happily amused are replaced by crying babies and very hurt/excluded pre schoolers!

Argh!

As if to confirm my suspicion that I am mad as a bag of snakes, the little bugger darling has just slept for 90 min sin her pram.

Whatsthatabout??

3ft - impressive! Will try for 4 when boobs full and let you know

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 03/04/2009 22:37

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maygirl · 03/04/2009 22:39

How often is she feeding these days Tree?

Enjoy pizza!

You'll have to use own EBM in yer tea if get desperate!!

Remember my EBM rusks for DS?

moosemama · 03/04/2009 22:44

Hi Tree, 'tis me.

You poor thing, you've really been going through it.

My gut instinct is to agree with Starlight. The greeny nappies sound like a lot of foremilk and the squirting a foot thing seems to indicate a fast and powerful letdown. I had a really fast letdown to begin with with DD and don't know if you were about then, but she ended up with reflux symptoms and breathing problems from inhaling milk. I just expressed a bit off before each feed until the milk started to flow more slowly. DD doesn't have reflux symptoms anymore and only seems to 'inhale' milk at the first feed of the morning after I have 'filled up' overnight so it may be worth trying it. I also gave up dairy for a fortnight and slowly reintroduced it - not sure if that made any difference with us tbh but definitely worth a try.

If you do find giving up dairy makes a difference but really can't face the long-term prospect you could investigate non-dairy formulas as at least you would have a genuinely good reason for giving up BF.

Also, I know the BF counsellor you saw was wholeheartedly unhelpful, but you could try another one and see how it goes. Maybe a mumsnetter from your area could recommend someone?