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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I felt so sad at playgroup today when ...

46 replies

Disenchanted3 · 04/02/2009 19:03

the 2 women I was sat with were BFing and DD got hungry and I got out a bottle.

DH doesn't understand.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 04/02/2009 19:04

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Lulumama · 04/02/2009 19:04

why are you not breastfeeding ? anything we can help you with?

if you are feeling about it, then that is no good

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 04/02/2009 19:08

Its too late now, DD is almost 6 weeks.

Had rey bad problems with both previous babies and with DS got quite depressed with breastfeeding, made descision to bottlefeed this time to save myself from the failure and depression.

Fed DD once at birth from each breast and the problems started up straight away so i knew it wouldn't work out again.

But feel crap for it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 04/02/2009 19:09

sorry wireless crap keyboard.

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themildmanneredjanitor · 04/02/2009 19:11

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Lulumama · 04/02/2009 19:12

six weeks definitely not too late to relactate, although will take perserverance

if bottle feeding is making you miserable, thn you are not gaining anything, except more upset

surely with help from MN and in RL you can overcome the obstacles?

there must be breastfeeding cafes and clinics and support near you, you live in a big city

NattyPlus2andAHalf · 04/02/2009 19:12

dont feel crap, bfing didnt work out for me and my daughter.
and yes i used to dread feeding in public cos i could feel ppls stares and knew they were wondering "why isnt she bfing?"

its part and parcel of ffing im afraid, u DO feel crap for doing it, even if it was the right decision for you

try not to let it bother you, and there are alot more people out there in the same boat then u think xx

TheProvincialLady · 04/02/2009 19:12

Oh disenchanted I know hard it can be to bottle feed when others BF and you would have liked to.

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 04/02/2009 19:14

surely its too late? only fed her at a few hours old.

My nipples are shit, they just hurt so much and bleed. Im told Im latched on properly but it still kills ME, AND IM NO SOFTIE. oops caps!

OP posts:
Lulumama · 04/02/2009 19:16

who has told you you are latched properly?

Lulumama · 04/02/2009 19:16

i get the impression that Dis is feeling crapola about formula feeding becasue she would rather be breastfeeding. not for formula feeding per se

you could relactate and express milk for DD ?

themildmanneredjanitor · 04/02/2009 19:17

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NattyPlus2andAHalf · 04/02/2009 19:18

i had similar problems, that and my daughter would feed half hourly for 15 mins at a time, for 6 weeks she did this day and night, and i gave up as i had a SN DS who was suffering.

when you feel like this try to remember the REASONS you decided not to this time, and try to work out which way made you feel worse. does the bad feeling about ff make you feel worse or slighty better than the pain you experianced bfing?

like lulumama says (and she is somewhat of an expert, trust her advice) you COULD restart if you want to.

you need to list the pros and cons, and do whats best for you, thats what i did this time round (expecting no 3.) and i will have another go at BFing, but if it goes wrong again i will be more prepared this time.

goodluck x

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 04/02/2009 19:18

ould i do that?

what would i need to do? could i really build my milk back up?

have just stopped leaking.

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themildmanneredjanitor · 04/02/2009 19:18

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TheProvincialLady · 04/02/2009 19:19

There is someone here who is trying to relactate...dizzee is her name. She is pumping every 2 hours and using a nursing supplementer.

Who told you the latch was good? MW presumably? I wonder if a proper BF counsellor would have agreed?

Lulumama · 04/02/2009 19:20

yes, search the archives for tiktok's advice on relactaion and for hunkers's blog which also has the helpline numbers on there

NCT can hire you out a breast pump , you need to get baby to the breast a lot abut you can;t just stop givign formula .

have a google and look at kellymom too

if you want to , then at least give it a go, surely that is better than thinking sad thoughts

i am deffo not an expert !

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 04/02/2009 19:21

i never really got ANY support this time.

DD was born Xmas eve and i latched her on, first part of feed was ok, midwife left,

i didnt see anyone for a few days and just assumed i couldnt do it again.

I told MW when she came about my bfing fears and why i was FFing and she didnt say anything, just wrote FFing in red book.

OP posts:
Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 04/02/2009 19:23

Will she know what to do as shes had bottles?

But theres nothing in there, wont she get frustrated?

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 04/02/2009 19:25

That is really crap They let you down.

Here is a thread by dizzee - her situation is slightly different but the basics of relactation are the same. You would definitely need RL support from LLL or similar.

quint · 04/02/2009 19:28

I BF DD1 no real problems - very sore but nothing like you're describing.

With DD2, it was really sore - a lot more paingul that with DD1.

I seem o produce masses of milk so got in touch with my local milk bank and offered to donate. In order to do that I had to have a blood test and the woman who did this was also a BF counsellor. She saw me wincing when DD2 was feeding and showed me what to do properly. After about 5 days, all pain was gone and feeding carried on really well.

I really recommend (if you want to try BF again) seeing aproper BFC not just a midwife, however, don;t beat yourself up if it doesn;t work. You have brought a beautiful baby into the world, I may get flamed for this but it doesn't matter how you feed her. Good luck

Lulumama · 04/02/2009 19:29

you can;t just get her on the breast totally now, as you say, there is not much tehre. you need real life help and support

of which you have had precisely none

please search the archives , look at hunkers blog and get some help

if your HV is useul then call her and asj for breastfeeding support details

TheProvincialLady · 04/02/2009 19:34

Even if you didn't get to full exclusive BF or even none at all, any breast milk your DD got via bottle or cup would be of benefit to her and might make you feel better. I fed DS1 entirely on EBM via bottle for 18 months as he wouldn't feed, it is possible. But your DD might well take to BF with the right help. Or you might decide you have enough on your plate with 3 children and that would be fair enough, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

dizzee · 04/02/2009 19:40

Hi Disenchanted, I'm currently trying to restart bf after a month away from it. I bf my DS until 9-10 weeks. It was always difficult (problem with supply, not painful latch) and I gave up because I just got fed-up with it and I thought DS would be better off ff, but with a happier Mum. I now regret that decision and wish I'd tried harder. So now I'm trying again. I'd not aiming for exclusive bf - just pumping enough to give him some breast milk in his bottle. So since Monday I've been pumping 8-9x a day (including once a night), putting DS to the breast (seems easier lying down in bed) and feeding him some of his formula through a supplemental nursing system (not easy!). I'm also taking domperidone and fenugreek 3x a day. I had just a few drops on Monday morning, but now I have quite a few drops and two squirts of milk this evening. So I think there may be some improvement. I still don't have enough to collect in the pump and feed to him, but I hope I will do eventually. If you really feel strongly about this then I think you can restart and the younger your baby is then the easier it is supposed to be (my DS is 14 weeks old). I have started a thread on my relactation journey as it helps me to stay motivated.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

AnnVan · 04/02/2009 19:48

Disenchanted - If you feel sad that you haven't bf'd then give relactation a go. Just one question for you - if you find that you're not successful, will it leave you stressed and depressed? Yes bf is a wonderful thing, BUT not at the expense of Mum's sanity and happiness. Do not beat yourself up about having FF, it sounds like you have had no support.
Good luck, and I hope it does work out for you.
FWIW I had terrible pain for the first couple of months feeding DS, even when I was told the latch was right. I started to consider FF, but thankfully things improved before I resorted to it, and we're still going strong.

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