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Infant feeding

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Original poster

Positive outcome from our loss

66 replies

bubble99 · 01/04/2005 22:44

Once we knew we were expecting twins and towards the end of my pregnancy, I ordered lots of twins stuff. I got books on parenting multiples and a particularly snazzy twins breastfeeding cushion called "EZ2Nurse" via The States. When Bo died and Elijah and I got home from hospital without Bo I was met by the double pushchair, books and the cushion. That was very sad. My health visitor, who is fab and was my HV for my previous DS came 12 days after we'd been home and I gave her the cushion and the books. We're hanging on to the double pushchair as I'm hoping to conceive asap so we'll need it. I asked her to give the cushion, unwrapped and still in box, to someone who would benefit from it.
The HV visited yesterday and, as she was leaving, told me that she'd given it to a seventeen year old who didn't have a bean and had had twins. She had, apparently, wanted to BF but had encountered peer and family pressure to bottlefeed. No flaming here, I'm just recounting what the HV told me, Anyway, with the help of the BF cushion she is doing really well with BF even though she is tiny and the cushion is almost the same size as her. Isn't that a positive outcome from something so bad?

OP posts:
marthamoo · 03/04/2005 23:38

Bubble, there aren't words (or emoticons) for how much your posts about Bo have moved me. I hope that posting here is helping you a little - we can't any of us do a damn thing but listen, but Mumsnetters are very good at that.

I'm glad to think of that new Mum breast-feeding her babies thanks to your generosity.

clary · 04/04/2005 00:35

bubble you have done a lovely thing to think of helping another in all your sadness. Yr post about Bo's cremation made me cry, especially the bit about not wanting him to be alone outside. But he will always be with you, I know that. I am so glad you saw him and love that image of him with his determined fists. I'm just so sorry that he didn't survive.
claryx

PrettyCandles · 04/04/2005 08:57

Bubble, you've created a legacy for Bo, by helping that young mother.

Would it help, when you choose what to do with his ashes, to plant a tree in his name, or to dedicate a bench in a garden or beauty-spot, where you can come and see, and where people can rest and enjoy, something done in Bo's memory? When I'm walking and come across a dedicated bench to take a rest on, I always feel glad that there was a person who cared or was cared about so much.

GRMUM · 04/04/2005 09:01

Please don't hate yourself bubble. You are not to blame in any of this. x

hub2dee · 04/04/2005 11:11

If it turns out place / tree is a comforting idea, I made some suggestions here , to someone else, ITH.

lisalisa · 04/04/2005 11:47

Message withdrawn

RudyDudy · 04/04/2005 11:58

What an amazing thread. couldn't 'leave' without paying you my respects bubble - I think what you have done for that teenage mom is wonderful and I am so in awe that you could even think so selflessly at a time like this. The service you had for Bo sounded very moving. As others have already said, take your time deciding what to do with Bo's ashes - there's no rush.

Lots of love to you and all your family.

welshmum · 04/04/2005 12:11

Bubble, I have to join too and say how amazing I have found you throughout what's happened, you are an astonishing person and a real inspiration.
I think what you did for the 17 year old can't help but provide some small comfort and it may be that acts like this will help so much in the months ahead.
It's a comfort to me that there are such good strong mothers in the world like you - and especially if they take on the task of running nurseries. What better place could you put your child but into the hands of someone like you.

sweetkitty · 04/04/2005 16:26

Have followed your story bubble it is particularly sad for me as a very close friend has recently lost her baby girl after medical negligence.

Just wanted to say I think you are a very special person and all your children are very lucky to have a Mummy like you.

Newbarnsleygirl · 04/04/2005 16:35

{{{Hugs to the bubbles family}}}

hub2dee · 04/04/2005 17:47

Might you stand for mayor, Ms. bubble99 ?

Sort out child care and fix the traffic in week 1 ?

kizzie · 05/04/2005 10:25

Bubble - i really cant express how much Bo's story and your notes have touched me. I cant imagine how you feel but you really have brought him into my heart. i think its wonderful that the girl has been helped by your donation but you are clearly a very strong woman and I dont think this is the last piece of good that will come from Bo's life.
Kizziex

HappyMumof2 · 05/04/2005 14:43

Message withdrawn

skerriesmum · 05/04/2005 15:19

How embarrassing, I'm so moved I'm tearing up at work... you are amazing Bubble I wish you even more strength to deal with your loss.

Bozza · 05/04/2005 15:31

Me too skerriesmum. Bubbles thats lovely and your posts are very moving.

NomDePlume · 05/04/2005 15:33

bubble, that is great

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