Tiktol & others, please help! Just had an accident & can't bf my baby. Am heartbroken.

[Maria2007]

Hi Tiktok (and other bf experts), I need your help urgently!

Here's some background: I'm Maria (we've met on these threads before, I think). I'm breastfeeding my 5 & a half month old baby since birth. He's also used to taking bottles once in a while, since in the last 3 weeks we've been giving him one bottle of formula at 11. Under my current circumstances it's good that he's comfortable taking bottles.

So. Yesterday, around 4 pm, I had a bad accident. I fell on my face (onto a plate) & broke several teeth- some came out completely- and other teeth are misplaced. I will need extensive dental work. I also had big cuts all over my mouth, & was given extensive stitching at hospital (I went with an ambulance to A&E). As you can imagine the whole thing was extremely traumatic, I lost lots of blood & didn't know at first what was happening. I'm very relieved that the damage is only on my mouth & teeth, as it could have been so much worse. But it's likely there might be some reconstructive work needed in the future, let's see.

About the medications I'm taking: They gave me morphine at hospital, for the pain. And then lots of local anaesthesia for the stitching. They have now put me on 2 antibiotics (Amoclan & Amoxillin) & one strong painkiller (Diclofenac). Plus, some paracetamol as needed. I will also be doing dental work, starting today, & that too will likely require more anaesthesia & perhaps more painkillers. Hopefully all this treatment will be completed within a week or- more likely- 2 weeks.

In the meantime, I can't & won't breastfeed, not without getting advice (hence my msg here), because I'm very scared of giving all this medicine to my boy through the milk. At the same time, I don't know what to do. Last night after my return from hospital I expressed & threw the milk away (to relieve the engorgement). This morning I also expressed & threw it away. Should I express & throw it out? If so, when? My boy usually feeds every 3 hours or so. At night we give him one bottle of formula at 11 (and I express at the same time) & then we usually give him EBM at 3.30 or so- this too we started recently & it helped our baby's sleep- so he's used to bottles at night. The rest of his feeds have been direct breastfeeds. Should I express on that schedule & throw it out? Could I then continue feeding him- when this ordeal is over- perhaps EBM in bottles if he refuses the breast? (will he, most likely, refuse the breast after 1-2 weeks on bottles solely)? I was planning & hoping to keep up the bf until he's 1 year old or so, perhaps keeping up to 3 feeds a day on the breast. Is that completely wishful thinking at the moment? Should I just give up completely? I don't want to, not in this traumatic & sudden way, but I also need to rest & recover.

Any advice would be fantastic. I can't talk to a bf helpline so easily because- as you can imagine- I don't talk clearly because of my cuts in the mouth. Which is why I'm writing here. I've always got good advice here....

Thanks in advance.
maria

Yes, I talked to my GP today & all dental treatment is free (until my baby is 1 year old, he's now 5 months). I just need to find a good dentist in london who takes NHS patients Anyone knows one? I'd love a recommendation...

whereabouts are you? i have a vague feeling you were north of the river but cant remember - if you're looking south I know a good dentist with places...

Giantkatestacks: just south of the river (very central) If you want you can email me with the details, that's brilliant!

I think it will be too far then - its in merton by south wimbledon tube...when i was looking nhs direct had a list of ones within your area but I appreciate that needing so much work done you'll want a recommendation...could you ask in health?

when you say 'ask in health' what do you mean?

can't speak for Kate but reckon she means health forums on mn

sorry yes thats exactly what i meant

Oh ok sure I'll check there.

By the way. I'm a bit concerned / paranoid about my milk supply (probably I shouldn't be, since at 5+ months bf is fully established). I eat so very little, despite all my efforts to puree & liquidize fruits / veg etc... it's just not that appetizing! (And it takes ages to eat). I've noticed that DS gets hungry sooner than he used to after a feed. Usually he could go 3 hours between feeds happily, these days he gets hungry at 2 hours or so. So I do feed him earlier. But also, he doesn't seem satisfied at the breast when he finishes, so I offer him top-ups of formula until I feel I have my strength up & I feel my supply is ok. At the moment expressing (which I used to do a lot of) is a bit exhausting for me, because I am so tired. Hopefully I can manage to increase my supply again, mainly for the few feeds that I plan to hold on to until 1 year, because we're about to start solids in the next couple of weeks. By the way, speaking about solids, I tried a spoonful of baby rice today (he's almost 24 weeks) & he gobbled it up & even seemed to want more! I know the recommendation is to wait a bit more... but could it be that's he's ready for solids? Also: Any herbs or other things to take to increase my supply without doing that much expressing? I do plan to return to my expressing in the next few days but right now I really need to get my strength up first... I know that losing too much weight while bf is not the best thing to do...

maria - off out to do school pick-up but will post on return - am sure lots of other people will be on to talk to you about building up supply.

Whoever said earlier about your supply not being affected was right though - your body will be affected but not your supply iyswim - are you managing to sleep during the day?Have you still got your mum there?

Maria, I'm so sorry you're having such a horrible time. As others say, your milk will be fine even if you're not eating much. If you feel your supply needs to increase can you have a 'babymoon' with your ds, staying in bed, reading magazines, having your mum run round after you and feeding ds everytime he so much as squeaks? Even one day will brings results!

As to getting nourishment into yourself, can you take Complan (various flavours) or Fortisip drinks? Both are used in hospitals to boost patient's feeding. Complan is usually on the supermarket shelf but you'll probably need to ask in a pharmacy for Fortisip. Hope you feel better soon.

tbh Maria - about the weaning - it can be a hassle and I just dont think its worth worrying about at the moment - best to wait a bit until things are on more of an even keel...and its only a couple of weeks anyway...

if you really want to and think the baby is ready - can she sit in her high chair? Then go ahead - but make sure your mum does all of the pureeing or food prep... you could give him the food after a bf if you think that hes still unsatisfied maybe.

I found fennel tea good for increasing supply but as others say the best thing is just to feed all day.

Maria, your baby has been through an experience as well - he will be perfectly able to realise something is 'up' and he had the two days without a bf, so he is reconnecting with you via his more frequent feeding....that's my informed guess, anyway

You don't need to top him up or give him rice to address this - just feed him and you will maintain the excellent milk supply you have. If you continue topping up as well as giving him rice, this is undermining to your supply....the slightly sooner than needed intro of solids is not likely to have any nutritional effect (positive or negative)...and I wonder if you need the hassle of it on top of everything! If you want to give rice, then no harm done, but in addition to topping up, well....not a great idea, sorry!

Well, you know, Tiktok, I HAVE been trying to encourage DS to be on the breast more than usual (I never let him go hungry anyway in the past). It's just at the moment, after his 2 & a half days of full formula feeds, it's very clear to me he's not full & satisfied after his breastfeeds with me. So, since monday morning, after each feed (rather than hear him scream) I've been offering him a little bottle of 120 ml formula which he downs immediately. Now I know this is not ideal... but under the current circumstances, with dentist appointments lined up, my mouth still stitched, and my baby a bit unsettled from everything that happened, I prefer to have him fed & happy than to be having breastfeeding marathons (which he won't tolerate anyway, he never did, he was always a quick feeder). I do worry about my supply & I plan to start expressing soon (on top of feeds) but for now I'm simply too tired, pureeing & liquidizing my food, trying to eat it (I just do NOT find baby food appetizing... ), and just generally trying to get my strength up.

As for the baby rice. We gave him a teaspoonful after his milk feed around 11 this pm. This was by far the happiest event we've had since the accident. It made me laugh (hard to do with a cut mouth, by the way ) and we took loads of pictures. The baby gobbled up the rice, tried to grab the spoon, and generally was happy as can be. I'm not saying this was because he was desperate for solid food; I'm just saying it was a happy experiment, just to try something new & to see what would happen, and I so needed a happy experiment... or maybe a happy experience actually.

In any case. This was all to explain that, even though I know my supply probably won't be helped by the formula top-ups or the baby rice (I plan to go very slowly with the baby rice btw), I have to say that's not my top priority at the moment- even though it's something that I'm very concerned about. I still put DS to the breast as much as I can (including through the night, which we hadn't been doing for 2-3 before the accident, we used to give him formula at 11 & EBM later). But what I'm realizing is that I'm doing it not so much because 'all this will increase my supply' etc but just because each time my baby breastfeeds- even with my diminished supply- it reminds me that I'm lucky to be alive, that I'm lucky to have him, that I'm lucky there's any milk there at all, that I'm lucky he's happy to take the milk there is there. As for the supply, I'll take it day by day (as with everything else at the moment)...

Oh you poor love - you have my utmost sympathies. My DH fell over and knocked out several front teeth and it was very traumatic (though your experience sounds far worse).

I can't offer advice re bf, but for feeding yourself I think my DH found warm food easiest on the tooth nerves - thick soup, for example, that had cooled. So perhaps rather than worrying about making and pureeing food for yourself, try having soups or yoghurt or milk shakes. DH also ate loads of cadbury mini rolls (still does ). He used to disappear into the bathroom so that he could eat over the sink - eating with a bad mouth isn't easy.

I'm afraid to say the dental work will take time - your jawbone may need to heal, depending on what sort of jolt it had.

Maria - all that's totally understandable....and I am totally understanding it

Maria still sending sympathy vibes - your experience was so horrible I really feel for you. Anyway, just to reitterate what others have said - dont worry too much about your supply - your body will give everything to milk production even if you are tired and not eating enough. Also ime losing a bit of weight shouldnt make too much difference. I lost 3st the first year after my baby ds2 was born and I really dont think it made any difference to bf and we are still going strong morning and evening feeds now at 18m.

You do need to keep strong for yourself though - what about some tasty spicy soups?

I sympathise about the dentist too - I needed some dental work in that first year and ended up just paying private (had mastitis and didnt need a toothache on top!) as there are no NHS dentists on Surrey/London that I could find!

hi maria

i had a bit of a low supple issue for a while and took a combo of blessed thistle and fennel extracts with loads of water for a few days. also fed lots and pumped after every feed (used one of those cheapy hand pumps - tommee tippee) and just whacked on for a few mins after every feed. yes, its a faff but a few days later, i could feel an increase in supply.

but we started weaning at 25 weeks and now she gets a big bottle twice a day and bf other times. i want to continue to do a morning and evening bf but its a relief to not get so panicky about the supple thing.

you have given your son an amazing start - really amazing. he's lucky to have you too

Maria, how are you?

TJuice: Thanks for the advice on the thistle & fennel extracts. Will get some fennel tea, & am already drinking loaaaaaads of water (in case that helps).

Jacksmama: thanks for asking!
In general, I'm ok. The swelling in my mouth has gone down considerably. Stitches are out There will need to be, however, loads of dental work but that's a project that will take time. Good news is (following advice I got on this thread, so many THANKS to everyone) I now have found out I'm entitled to free NHS treatment (I have exemption, because I have a baby under 1 year old). And even better news, I'll be able- I found out- to get treatment at a big teaching hospital here in London.

So on a practical level things are better. Still eating purees & liquids, have lost quite a bit of weight (not bad news, that ). Also, formula top-ups are now fewer & fewer, so the bf is going much better. I've started some expressing again to increase my supply.

Bad news is that I'm still emotionally feeling very raw & vulnerable. Basically feeing unsafe all the time... But hopefully this will pass in time...

Maria - thats good news. If you try the fennel tea and cant stomach it then I've got a good recipe thats much nicer (basically like chai) involving fennel seeds...

Hopefully the raw feelings should ease - but if they dont and you're having flashbacks/hot flushes/disturbed sleep etc then I think you should talk to your GP.

GiantKatestacks- would be very interested in your recipe

from memory for two cups of tea:

2 cloves
decent sized black cardamom pod ground up
1 teaspoon of fennel seeds
one normal teabag
two sugars
two mugs of water

boil all for ten minutes then put teabag in briefly to colour - a minute maybe, add milk to taste and strain.

It seems like a right faff but is very nice and also helps with windyness - babies and mums...

Maria, just wanted to pop by and say that I think you are doing fantastically well. I know you're saying that you feel a bit unstable, but it's gpoing to take time to get over it. You wouldn't expect someone to get over a car accident in a matter of a few days, would you? Well, what you've been through sounds like at least on a par with that.

You are doing great!

thanks Poledra! That really means a lot... because yes I do feel unstable & just generally unsafe if you see what I mean, but I'm trying to concentrate on positive things, e.g. sorting out my boy's feeding & sleeping, mumsnetting, reading books etc... hopefully soon it'll all be a bit under control, because I don't like feeling like this But yes, as you say, no, I wouldn't expect anyone to get over a car accident in a matter of days, and I do agree that what I went through (especially the fact that it could have been so much worse) is similar.