Help for my lovely sis please

[wishbird]

HI,

Hope someone can offer some practical support for my sis¬ She has a 3 week old lovely DS who is struggling to latch properly. He doesn't 'extend' properly, and so is 'champing down on her very ragged nipples - poor thing! He takes up to two and half hours to feed from latch to finish - and by then is almost ready to feed again. Lack of sleep is a big big problem, as is the increasing fear of feeding - to the point that last night, when he did sleep quite well - she was awake scared and worrying about the next feed! MW says her positioning fine, just that baba is a 'lazy feeder'.

Her nipples really are appalling (BFing myself and although had probs as most of us do at beginning - never seen quite so bad - big splits and grooves...ouch!!) She is cabbage leafing (!) - def helps but the combi of sleep deprivation and pain is making her so so unhappy - she is also worried with xmas fast upon us that it will ruin things for her DS1 (9yrs old, and BF to 18 mnths) - and is just so very weepy and unhappy all the time.

MW (and this is v unusual as she was mine too - and totally pro and supportive of BF) has even suggested a bottle as concerned about sis.

Sorry for long post - please any practical advice welcome - thank you!

Your poor sis, can she call one of the BF helplines? Or is there ar La Leche branch near her?
My DS also struggled to latch and chomped, seemed unable to draw the nipple up into his mouth. Every Health Visitor we saw said he was just lazy. At 6 months with shredded nips I saw my GP who diagnosed a tongue tie. Have you checked for this? Has your sis tried BF lying down side by side with baby? This worked best for us till TT was snipped.
Good luck to your sis

God, your poor sister. I went through the same thing, and ended up resorting to the bottle (which I regretted, horribly). Have they checked for tongue-tie? I took DS to cranial osteopath after I'd given up and found that his jaw had been pushed out of alignment in the birth (forceps). He wouldn't even latch on to the bottle before the osteopath had sorted it, then he latched like mad!

I haven't got any practical advice, other than to say 'I've been there and it's shit' Wish her luck and give her a huge hug x

Hi, haven't got much advice I'm afraid but I would suggest she gets in touch with a breastfeeding consellor ASAP if she hasn't already, the one I've used has been v helpful. Try asking Health Visitor for details, some will come and visit you or may have a drop-in clinic nearby.

Also may be worth investigating tongue tie - this was the cause of a similar-sounding problem for a friend of mine.

Or could she try expressing then using bottle to feed?

Hope she is OK over Christmas - she is lucky to have a supportive sis like you!

I'd support the suggestion to check for tongue tie, and also to get better advice. It is really no use midwives being nice and kind and supportive if all they can do is cluck symathetically, suggest formula and label the baby as lazy

What's happening with the baby's weight and what sort of nappies is he doing?

Hi again,

Thanks for all your support.

Tiktok - weight gain is good, nappies fine, so he obviously is getting plenty of milk.

Another midwife just been to see her and told her to hire electric pump and express for 48 hours to give ner nipples a break - so she's just off to pick up pump.

Whats tongue tie then? will go and look up for her now - but if anyone knows best place for info about this - please point me in right direction.

I just wish I could do more for her...feels so unhelpful to just keep telling her to hang in there - that it will get easier etc - though I know this is true!

really appreciate your comments and support - have passed on your hugs etc and she is so grateful xx

Oh and I tried ringing La Leche but they aare obv busy at mo, as went to answer phone - but will try again later

Read http://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/items/item_detail.asp?item=439 HERE

Sorry will try that again.....

here?

Don't know what the research says now but I was advised not to use cabbage leaves for too long as it could affect supply ( a chemical in the leaves??????) would also recommend lansinoh if she's not already using it as it doesnt need to be taken off before feeding.

Is she using any pain relief I used paracetamol for the first few weeks as I came to dread the latch (I had the jaws theme tune playing in my head) I know that people say that feeding shouldn't be painful but once breasts are shredded to this point I do feel that pain relief is appropriate... As is safe to use!!!

sawyer64 - thanks for the link - loadsa info, and definately sounds like strong possibility that sis' baba may have this...who can diagnose? HV? MW? or doctor?

If the midwife's any good, she can have a look. Your best bet is to take him down to your hospital's breastfeeding clinic (if they have one - most have) and get someone there to have a look. They can refer to the Maxillofacial Department, if need be. A maxillofacial specialist will need to diagnose it officially and they'll perform the procedure.

Tongue-tie can go undiagnosed for ages. My SIL has just had her DS2 'snipped' and it ade such a difference. He's latched on properly and guzzling away now, and she was suffering just like your sister.
Hope this helps x

Thank you ineedmore...the more I read about it, makes me quite sure that there is strong chance my new nephew has got this tongue tie...symptoms exactly match - so would be great if could be remedied so easily!

Youve all been great, and I have passed on your best wishes and advice and she is so grateful

My GP diagnosed the tongue tie, midwives and HVs said they "couldn't look" ??? If you can't get to GP then try the hospital. It is so easy to fix and BF improves straight away