breast feeding - losing confidence - reassurance please

[popsycal]

DS2 is now three weeks and is breats feeding fine. I was determined to make it work this time round after several issues feeding ds1 which resulted in me stopping before I really wanted to.

Everything is working well - latching on fine, positioning is good. I let him feed whenever and for however long he likes which turns out to be most of the night! He does like to suck so some of the time spent on the breast isnt productive feeding but when he does feed, he feeds well. He had a touch of jaundice in his first week but that within about 4 days (DS1 had severe and prolonged jaundice which was a major factor in me losing confidence last time). He is weeing fine and pooing lots of yellow nappies.

I havent had him weighed since he was born (another paranoia I am determined not to allow to take over this time round) but have just realised that the clinic will not be open until a week today what with bank holidays etc.

Looking at photos though, he seems to have lost week - he was 8lbs 11oz at birth and had a chubby face which has now slimmed down. He has got longer though and is wearing 0-3 month clothes rather than newborn.

Unhelpful comments from relatives are making my confidence a little shaky (oh he does look like he has lost a bit of weight......do you think he needs a bit of a top up with formula????)

I am determined to make this work and if I am honest it is working beautfully.

Just needing a bit of reassurance and a pep talk......

No,no and thrice no to formula-tell them to bugger off-however well meaning they are!
It is normal for babies to lose a little at this stage-just carry on feeding on demand and do not worry about a thing!!

You are doing great by the sounds of it! He's probably gainig in length rather than width, which is better. bf babies aren't as pudgy as bottlefed in my experience but thats not a bad thing. Don't top up with formula, thats a slippery slope and will result in stopping bf sooner than you would like. Keep up the good work!

you're doing brilliantly popyscal. Don't change anything. The fact that he's gained a clothing size shows that he's growing. Not all babies are little fat faces. DT1 has always been a tiny little thing and she feeds beautifully. DT2 has always been a bit of a fat face and he also feeds beautifully. It ain't broke, don't fix it!

You're doing brilliantly - either he'll stay a long lean thing (lovely) or he'll get longer, then plumper, then longer, then plumper (also lovely).

You're fab, your DS is happy and of course he'll look different - tell your relatives if he always looked like a newborn baby, he'd get teased at school

thanks ladies

he is growing in length i know that... topping up when ds1 was ill was the start of the end of bf then

i have no intention of topping up...no formula in the house and tbh it hadnt crossed my mind until they mentioned it!!! i am sure it will work...

while you are all here, i know it is still early days but when did feeding start to gain structute??? ds2 is almosr permanently attachecd today!!! i dont mind at the moment at all but just wondering....

hi popsycal

my ds is almost 7 weeks now, and is just about into a routine, although there are days now and then when it all goes to pot (ie today when he had a 5 hour sleep midday!!!)

You sound like you're doing a fab job, and you may be surprised when you get him weighed to find he has put on weight. I was looking at pics of ds when he was born, and he has changed so much already.
I don't think you can really tell from photos if they've lost/gained weight... a lot of babies have quite chubby faces when born, which then slim down. And as the others have said, if he is into 0-3 month clothes then he's obv doing well! ds has only just moved into 0-3 months and he was 9lb 1 at birth!!!

Three weeks is classic growth spurt time - if he's been attached almost all day, then no doubt he's just making sure the milk's there for tomorrow when he'll be bigger and hungrier. That's another sign IMO that he's growing and doing very well breastfeeding.

I can't remember when DS got into a routine of feeding - I know he did several times and just as I thought I'd cracked it, he had another growth spurt and I forgot what had worked before it

popsy- sounds like everythinghs fine- if he's weeing and pooing normally and his colours ok.

Ds was like this - just loved to suck! A dummy gave me respite when he was a bit older. You are clearly doing fine. People are just DESPERATE to get formula into babies aren't they? Very odd.

popsycal, my girls were both like this, 8lb + babies but quite long and didn't look "chunky" for ages. i think i'm - ahem- pretty forthright, so relatives didn't "advise" formula for us..but 2 yrs on they're asking when i'm going to stop bfeeding dd2!

well done and always remember that if you need specific help/reassurance go and see a bf counsellor - I put it off thinking 'what can they tell me I don't already know' - but eventually I did and they were wondersul. patient, knowledgable and very very supportive.

well done & keep going...babies are all different. My DS (now 3) bf for England and put on 11oz a week! My DD (9mths) is a little dot. Not sure either of mine had a feeding routine until about 3 or 4 mths. I just fed on demand (just so long as it wasnt permanently) You can usually tell if they are using you as a dummy to fall asleep and I always took them off then! Your body is an amazing tool. DD has 1 bottle 3 days a week at nursery but bf only when at home with me. I dont express and my body just adapted. How clever is that !!

the all-night feeding is made much easier by co-sleeping, and all-day feeding can be much easier if you have a sling you can breastfeed in

Some people will always think that formula is the answer to everything! The main thing is that there are enough wet nappies. You are doing brilliantly, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!

btw, ds is a pretty slim baby. Not chunky AT ALL.

Tell them all to p* off! It sounds as though you're doing wonderfully! My 2 babes did come out looking chunkier at birth than 3 weeks old, but they're all a bit puffy when they come out aren't they?!

When mine got a few month's older(3-5 months), their weight wasn't going up the growth graph as fast as the line and the HV was making me panic. But I've been told since that the these graph's are indicators for bottle fed babies, and the lines progress differently for breast fed babies. So if you do get him weighed, bear that in mind.

Going off the subject a bit now, but it's really easy to start doubting you're own abilities. Please don't, you've come SOOOO far!! You are doing great!!

x x x

thanks folks
am having a bit of a wobbly day
why is it that people are obsessed with getting formula into newborns

my mum texted me earlier to ask when i was getting him weighed and did i thikn he was gettng enough

very tempted to answer that i havent managed to find a measuring gauge to fit on my boob yet!!!

argh

if he is happy, weeing pooping loads then try not to worry. i have had the HV on my back about dd3 as she had jaundice and i missed clinic the other week. so they came to me this week and weighed her. she gained 1lb in 2 weeks. so she is doign very well. like your little un she has days where she is feeding constantly.

Dont give in on the formula front if you really feel breastfeeding is working. wait till he is weighed, hopefully he will have gained loads and you can tell everyone he is definatly getting enough .

he is weeing and pooing for england...

cant get him weighed now until friday when he will be nearly 4 weeks.....i am having a paranoid mummy day

how is dd3 now misdee?

she is fine. full of beans (and milk lol)

go and put him on the scales at the grocers if your really worried. but he sounds good to me.

is there any other clinics you can go to? there is a clinic every day here at various locations over the whole area. have u got the HV number? give them a call tuesday, or even now and leave a message, and request a home visit before friday.

If the jaundice went away fast, that's a very good sign, too. Just chiming in with everyone that you're doing great.

I had a hard time with bf with DS1 and only held on through sheer will. DS2 is doing much better, but in the first few months I felt torn between wanting to get him weighed to know everything was fine, and not wanting to get sucked into that whole silliness. Mostly I held out - got him weighed every month or so. I've mostly stopped now, as he's 6 months, and I can see he's learning new tricks all the time, which is much more reassuring than any scales. (Thank goodness, as he's not really taking to solids very well, and I don't really want to talk to a HV about it. He clearly just prefers boob.)

NQC I THOUGHT THAT ABOUT THE JAUNDICE TOO - DS1 HAD JAUNDCE FOR 2 MONTHDS, WAS IN SCBU AND HAD ALLSORTS OF TESTS (AND IS FINE) SO THE JANUDICE CLEARING WAS REASSURING.

ooops

my hv is on hols til a week on monday but i will ring the number and leave a message to see if there is a clinic on tues

my silly mother suggested i get an emergency docs appt to get him weighed

ffs i honestly dont know where this is all coming from!!!! wondering if i am the one living in the dream world....

abe rung health visitor and left a message on answer phone asking if there are any other clinics earlier in the week and have asked if they would call me back on tuesday

they will think i am mad as i gave my maiden name first annd only realised and corrected it half way through the message
have been married for 2 years hmmmmm

dont worry about the weight. If they seem OK and are having plenty of wt nappies, they're fine. DD is dropping down the percentile every time I have her weighed. However they dont take into consideration the fact that she was an early crawler (5mths) plus is 91st centile for height. Obviously a tall/active baby is going to use a lot of energy. Trust yourself & ignore any comments about formula BUT if you fancy a few hours off, then by all means let someone else give her a bottle of formula rather than expressing. Mix & match to suit you both.