Advice needed - MamaG is struggling with BF :-(

[MamaG]

1. The bras I bought are too small, so I have a borrowed slightly-too-big bra and perfectly fitting underwired bras (non nursing of course). Is it ok to wear underwired bras? Its a bit inconvenient, but until we settle into BF properly, I don't wnat to buy new as am not sure of size.

1. DS was feeding almost all night last night. He'd feed, cry at the end of a feed, bring up some wind, feed some more, fall asleep on the breast then wake up crying 20 minutes to 30 minutes later. This carried on literally ALL NIGHT. Do you think he's just sucking for comfort? Maybe its time to introduce a dummy? He was 3 weeks old last Weds. He's been feeding almost constantly today and yesterday as well. Don't know if weekends make him more clingy as there's more going on (kids at home etc)

I'm shattered, have two other DC to look after. I will NOT give up, I will NOT! Any advice would be much appreciated

Definitely fine to use a dummy. It's a comfort thing and you've don't want to get sore nips again.

Huge sympathies and understanding, it's exhausting and you feel bad for the other two but they are old enough to understand that it won't be forever.

You know you won't give up, you just need to rest as much as possible. Remember it is okay to put him down and ignore him sometimes too - if you know he's fed and dry and winded. DS always settled better when I ignored his fussing. I know you know all this but I am trying to be reassuring

Is he pooing OK? Digestive/bowel problems always seem to make them wriggly, crying and waking.

Just read the thread and I think you have had some good advice.

Hope you are ok - just wanted to send some moral support - I know how hard it can seem/be bf but remember how fast it all goes and how teeny tiny 3 weeks really is.

I KNOW you can do it!

BTW I used a dummy on DS2 (bad reflux) and went on to feed him til... er now! (2 in January).

Early on I occasionally thought he was latching on funny because of the dummy so used it a little less for a few days and bf him a little more.

Have you tried putting your baby to sleep after a feed in a slightly upright position (chair?). If wind is the problem that might help. Infacol also saved our lives at this age with DS1.

Another night of non stop feeding! I'm going to stop taking my phone to bed as I look at it all night to check the time and I think that makes me worse!

Tried hte dummy - he really hated it. Would not keep it in, cried if I held it in, he def wanted milk not suction! When I did put him on the breast after the dummy, he sucked furiously (ouch!)

THink I'll try some infacol or similar today.

I can't get to a bra shop, M&S etc don't go up to my size. I'm a 36Godknowswhat! The too small bras are 36G, the too big bra is 38H. So maybe a 36H? Not that its relevant

I need to ring SIL and beg her to sort me out I think.

Got an appt to regiser his birth today, 24 miles away. Will have to drive myself. Its bloody snowing. I may re-arrange!

Thanks for all the advice and sympathy btw

Oh yes it's definitely worse when you know how many times you are woken! Hoping for a better night for you (and me too)..

I got mine to take a dummy by expressing some breast milk onto the teat, it might be worth trying. DS2 was very colicky and my GP actually said that he could be getting too much foremilk because he was feeding so much and that would make it worse. I don't know if that's right, but a dummy seemed to help him settle and his tummy was better, I would agree with other that you will know the difference if he is hungry as the dummy won't work. Hope things improve soon for you.

You have my sympathy, coping essentially alone with two plus a growth spurt.

Why not order a 36H from Bravissimo? They let you do returns if the size is wrong. Should arrive in a couple of days - sounds like faster than you can make it to the shops. You can also call them (if you can find 2 mins - maybe while feeding?!) and get advice on what size to try if you can describe what doesn't fit about the existing bras.

HTH and good luck!

MamaG, just wanted to say that both of mine had dummies from a few days old and I successfully breastfed them with NO problems for 9 months each. Personally I found it let me know if they were truly hungry or just wanting comfort. A baby who is hungry will not put up with a dummy instead of milk, believe you me!

Good luck anyway, I am due my third in 9 weeks and I am dreading do all of this again!

Also DD1 hated dummy at first, tried her with a latex one and she loved them, they are softer and warmer than the newer silicone ones. Again DD2 didn't enjoy the silicone ones the same.

MamaG - when you said 'fussy' I immediately thought of ds when he got his colic - this started on evening 3 although its not really supposed to kick in until they are about 3 weeks. If he is 'fussing' it might be worth getting some advice on this. We ended up at the cranial osteopath which cured ds on the third visit (improved after each of the 1st 2 visits, but simply vanished after 3rd).

Thanks for all the advice. Last night was the same again, fussing, feeding constantly, crying on teh breast etc. I'm going to go get some colic stuff today and will persevere with teh dummy (again last night he hated it, but good idea about putting some milk on it, I'll try that).

I keep hearing about cranial osteopathy but I'm not really sure what it is - I'll start another thread in case nobody checks back on this one

Isn't it funny how quickly you get used to hardly any sleep

Hello MamaG

FWIW I introduced a dummy at around this age for exactly the reasons you have... this is me, the "Under no circs will a dummy ever cross my threashold" uberranter. Have you tried different shaped teats? DD preferred the flatter ones, wouldn't entertain the rounder ones, but I have a friend whose dc was the exact opposite. I never found it interfered with my supply, although of course that's just my experience

Infacol worked wonders too, dd had real trouble getting all her wind up without it. She hated it at first though so be prepared for that. We had a tired cry, a hungry cry, a bored cry, a leave me alone cry, and a "I really hate this infacol stuff" cry

Poor little ds and poor you, keep eating cake fruit and veg and feel better soon

Thanks TF

No not tried any other teats yet, I got those "natural" shaped ones that go nipple shaped.

Eating...what's eating?! I seem to remember its something to do with my mouth...

I will get hte Infacol today

I cant believe that baby is 3 weeks old already!!!

Well done you for keeping going despite the sick bugs and no sleep.

It does sound like a growth spurt at 3 weeks. I have used a dummy with 4 of mine, the other 2 were having none of it. I found it very useful as it did give my nipples a break and deffo soothe them.

The ones that didnt take a dummy were quite happy to settle themselves but did feed an awful lot more it seemed. They were probably comfort sucking.

You need some nice comfy bras, and to rest i know that is almost impossible with other children. Ignore housework and trips out. When you can go back to bed with him and snuggle. This really help boost your milk supply so does eating.

A nice cake in the afternoon to boost flagging energy levels, i swear by it. If you are too busy to eat/make stuff one handed (whil BF of course) buy some ready made sandwiches and fill the fridge with smoothies. When i had the twins i lived off them. I could drink a meal effectively.

Lots of luck you are doing a great job

Thanks G&T - he'll be 4 weeks tomorrow

I need to stock my fridge more effectively i think, for daytimes.

I can get some infacol for you today and post it out if it helps

how can that be!!! It seems 5 minutes ago you and expat were on that thread waiting for the babies to appear!

Mine is due in 6 weeks (she will not arrive before the tree is away)

Send dh out to Sainsbos and stock up on the smoothies. Handfuls of dried fruit are also easy to scoff and it wont matter if the other children get their hands on them when you are not looking either.

I used to get almost soul destroyed when i had managed to make a sandwich and sit down only to turn my back and see it strewn over the floor as a small person had grabbed it!

Thanks TF thats really kind of you - the chemist is only 10 minute walk away though

Just spoke to BF counsellor (local one) who said

1. Might be thrush - get gel from Doctors (I went last week as I thought he had thrush - GP disagreed)

1. At night, hand express until the milk is really flowing before putting baby on to the breast.

1. Have a couple of duvet days - stop doing EVERYTHING, stay in bed during the day, lots of high calorie snacks/food, get DH to make a packed lunch for me etc etc as she thinks my milk may have gone down a little bit

1. I have his night time feeding position all wrong - he lays on his back and turns his head to feed, I lay on my side facing him. She made me turn my head to the side and swallow - its bloody uncomfortable, poor little chap!

She doesn't want me to try dummy/infacol at the moment, and is going to come and see me Thursday (or phone if I prefer).

Fingers crossed

Don't know what my iron levels are tBH, but I am taking iron tablets daily as I lost a lot of blood during cs and had to have a transfusion afterwards. Iwas very anaemic apparently.

I know that I'm doing too much and not eating properly, if I take a hard look at myself.

Its difficult though, with the other DC as you point out

I feel shite tbh, quite teary now. Think I'll walk to the shop with the pram, get stocked up and come home and go to bed!

Of course i had forgotten (i am sure you had not) the delievry circs. You are probably anaemic. Spatone and Floradix very good. Take with orange juice to increase the absorbancy of the iron.

Going to bed is a very good idea. I always found week 3 and 5 the worst. I think it is crashing hormones and people stop being excited about the baby and coming over.

Stock up and then off to bed with you You will feel better after 24hrs of rest and baby cuddling.

yes do have a lie in with your baby. Just let yourself drift in and out of sleep with the rhythm of feeds.

Make hot chocolate with milk and ovaltine and ask someone to make a big pot of chicken noodle soup for you (just heat in microwave)
Anything that will make you feel warm and cosy and be self indulgent for a few days.

If you feed in bed try and turn baby on side facing your breast and prop him with a pillow or rolled towel so that he does not roll back on his back.

Enjoy!

Thanks all

I'll get up, take DD and DS1 to school, come home and go to bed with DS2, then get up at 3 ready to collect from school! So I'll sort of be in bed fully, but sort of not

It will help though won't it? Can't hurt anyway.