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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding in public

57 replies

Emmer · 25/11/2008 16:19

I can not believe the amount of stupid men (and women) out there who think breastfeeding mothers should feed babies in toilets or just not leave the house at all. Breasts have become so sexualised that they are not seen as something to feed our children anymore. Breast is most definately best, FACT! And when I am out with my screaming, hungry baby I will not hesitate to stop and feed him anywhere. I am not flaunting anything to anyone or trying to make anybody feel uncomfortable, just making sure my baby is happy. Please help change the law by signing this petition

petitions.number10.gov.uk/breastfedright/

OP posts:
PuzzleRocks · 25/11/2008 18:59

Hooray for enlightened waitresses.

fledtoscotland · 25/11/2008 19:06

in scotland, a child has a right to be breast-fed not that that the mother has a right to breast-feed. am not sure if the rest of the uk is going to follow

twoboots · 25/11/2008 19:06

agree with puzzlerocks re "nice facilities", it is telling that ema76 doesnt want to breastfeed. She Needs to re-rudder her udders

StealthPolarBear · 25/11/2008 19:24

not sure what that last post means
Agree that bfing in public should be normaluised, but in the meantime (and long term) there still needs to be provision for women who bf but would rather not do it in public - otherwise they may choose not to altogether.
I don't see that a woman's right to bf anywhere and everywhere conflicts with her right to also have a little privacy in which to do it if she chooses!

tiktok · 25/11/2008 19:27

rubyred, in Scotland it is a offence to harrass/move a bf woman. It is not an offence in England

However, in England it is not an offence to bf anywhere no matter how old the kid....but people can, legally, ask you to feed in the toilet or wherever. You can of course refuse to comply - if you are brave and just sit tight, they would have to assault you to make you move and that would be an offence.

chequersandchess · 25/11/2008 19:27

What SPB said.

StealthPolarBear · 25/11/2008 19:33

tiktok, is it to do with the discrimination laws? That being disadvantaged due to bf isn't one of the discrimination categories here but is in Scotland?
But if someone is hassling you fr bf they may still be guilty of harrassment or threatening behaviour, or whatever?

StealthPolarBear · 25/11/2008 19:35

And I probably should bf in private - the 4 bras that I have worn on continuous cycle all day and most nights since April 2007 really aren't fit for the public eye any more

PuzzleRocks · 25/11/2008 19:39

SPB we have similar tastes in underwear. DH is a lucky man

Original poster
Emmer · 25/11/2008 19:42

I agree puzzlerocks. I hate to be hidden away or forced to fid somewhere where I can't be seen so I do tend to feed wherever I happen to be. However, I know some people aren't as confident mainly due to fear of what other people think which shouldn't be the case

OP posts:
llareggub · 25/11/2008 19:42

I remember when I first took DS out with MIL. We sat in the M&S coffee shop and I prepared to breastfeed DS.

MIL was mortified and tried to build a little barricade around me to "protect" my modesty. It was so funny. If course, I couldn't care less who saw me. Even on christmas day, at my own house, she tried to encourage me to sit in another room to feed DS so that I'd be more comfortable. Of course, I told her that there was nowhere more comfortable than my own sofa.

She is much improved now, and is even supportive of the fact that I'm still breastfeeding 2 year old DS.

Original poster
Emmer · 25/11/2008 19:51

Oh and yes I did see that part of doctors today but I had heard it elsewhere too

OP posts:
sweetkitty · 25/11/2008 19:57

Mothercare in Bluewater had a fab BFing room not the toilet, it had 3 big glider chairs, free water, breastpads and choccies. Was lovely to go in there put your feet up for a rest when the rest of the centre was packed.

I agree though having separate BF rooms seems to imply that it's something that needs to be done in private.

ilovemydog · 25/11/2008 20:41

Mothercare is great. Ikea is good, although their breastfeeding rooms, or feeding rooms, are combined with the changing area, which once again equates breastfeeding with excrement. Sorry, but it's true

The only place I have felt truly welcome breastfeeding in public, is Born in Bristol. An independent shop. There are couches, water and a play area. Last time I went there (as a pit stop, not that I wanted to buy anything), the owner of the shop kicked off a bunch of men so I could feed DS.

Stealth makes a really good point. If someone (in England or Wales) makes an issue of breasfeeding, would they be guilty of discrimination? I think the difference is that in Scotland it's a criminal offence, which means that the woman would have the weight of the police behind her, whereas in England/Wales at the moment, at best, it would be a civil offence...

LetMeEatCake · 25/11/2008 20:50

john lewis in trafford centre also has bf room. I breast fed my daughter for 1year, and am now breast feeding my son, but I am fairly shy of doing it in 'full glare' public. I can do it in a restaurant if I am in a discreet seat... tbh it is better if he is in a quiet room so he will actually eat and not just snatch his head round with half my nipp in his gob at the slightest 'exciting' noise!!!!!

ditto the cycled bras...I only have 3!

VivaLaPotPourri · 25/11/2008 20:50

I do wish they would change the law, it just gives you a 'safety net' I guess. But someone would have to physically move me nowadays, but I have never even had so much as a sideways glance while feeding.

LetMeEatCake · 25/11/2008 20:51

is there some kind of directory anywhere of bf rooms?

StealthPolarBear · 25/11/2008 20:54

Discrimination covers a number of areas, including sex, of which pregnancy is included. By the fact they say that it makes me think bf isn't iyswim

chequersandroastedchestnuts · 25/11/2008 21:55

I've never had any grief, except for very early on when DD was about 4 weeks.

I was sitting on a banch in a shopping centre and a lady came up and hissed at me. I was (unhappily) mixed feeding and had just been to Boots and forked out for formula I couldn't afford after realising I couldn't buy it with my points.

That was a crappy day, worst of both worlds

PuzzleRocks · 25/11/2008 21:59

for those with sorry looking bras

MissusH · 25/11/2008 22:22

my mum has issues with bfing .

I didn't bf dd1 due to my own inexperience/poor latch/lack of support so was determined to bf dd2 (which I am - 8wks in and doing fine )

When I told my mum my plans she asked where I would do it. I told her wherever necessary. She asked if I would go upstairs in my own house if we had visitors and dd needed feeding . She even left the room when I fed her at home...

Her comments so far about bfing in public include "what about perverts?" (replied that they will see far better boobs on the shelves of WH Smiths) and "you may not be embarrassed but other people will be" (tough - not my problem). You would think that I strip to the waist, the way she goes on...

Anyway, I am treating her to aversion therapy each time I visit by feeding downstairs in her lounge. My brother & step-dad couldn't care less btw!

As to bfing in public so far I have fed at friends houses, on a visit to my workplace, passenger seat of my car in the school car park and also in a waiting room at the crematorium (family funeral, dd couldn't wait...)

But today I bf for the first time in a cafe (M&S). I am feeling proud of myself as I know some people on mn have had bad experiences so was a bit apprehensive..
It was fab - fed dd, ate carrot cake, drank latte with no trouble

TinkerBellesMum · 25/11/2008 22:47

Why should shops provide breastfeeding rooms? Why can't it just be that women feed where they sit? TBH if there were more breastfeeding rooms there would be more discrimination "There's a room over there for you to do that!"

I'm not signing the petition because it will just get the response back similar to the link TikTok posted, it's not illegal to breastfeed in public. Give me a link to a petition about making it criminal law and I will sign it!

TinkerBellesMum · 25/11/2008 23:03

I had to laugh at Tesco, the disabled toilets has a sign on it for baby changing and bottle feeding

It is illegal to harass someone on the grounds of maternity up to 6 months and afterwards it comes under sex discrimination with no upper age. Unfortunately the act is only under civil law so you would have no support from the police if you were harassed. However, if someone does try to move you invite them to call the police if they feel you are doing something illegal because the police will then have the harassment on record for when you come back with your solicitor.

Making the support we do have criminal law rather than civil law is what those of us who took part in the breastfeeding picnics and do other things are trying to achieve.

I was a bit annoyed at my NCT class that the breastfeeding teacher told us pretty much the misinformation that has been repeated on this thread! I did put her right

StealthPolarBear · 26/11/2008 21:34

Thanks for the clarification about discrimination
Surely there's a balance wrt feeding in public though? Women who don't want to for whatever reason shouldn't be made to feel like it's that or nothing? Obviously in an ideal world we'd all be so accepting of each other than no-one would feel like that but it's not, and people do,

TinkerBellesMum · 26/11/2008 22:04

I agree SPB, no one should feel like they have to feed in public, after all it puts a lot of women off, but if we do have breastfeeding rooms we will open up more room for discrimination as certain people will see it as that's where you do feed not where you can.