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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

DD bit me really hard this evening, going to try to stop bf, hold my hand

39 replies

wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:14

She is one now, not been brave enough to cut off her supply, but really not enjoying it much anyway. This evening she bit me really hard, and dragged herself off, was very painful, then she gave me a huge grin, one of those 'gosh how clever am I to make mummy squeal' looks. Was the final straw to make me really want to give up. Plan is to go cold turkey tonight, but last time we tried that (before general aneasthetic) she cried for 2 hours and tomorrow I have work so she may get a feed if I'm desperate, but I so want to wean her now, had enough of being her dummy, its been lovely, but I want my body back now..

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Original poster
wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:16

Should be 'have not been brave enough to cut off her supply before'? Bed time now methinks

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TrinityWino · 12/11/2008 22:17

are you really sure
the biting thing passes
its just them getting bigger and clever
I really probably shouldn't be on this thread
my mental health at the mo means I cant dcope with the thought of a 1 year old wanting her forever comfort and not getting it

sorry
I shall leave
good luck for whatever you do
and well done for breastfeeding this long
take care

Original poster
wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:20

I'm just so tired with it. But I know its going to be hard. Am I being harsh? She will have to give up sometime no? Can't do this forever

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Original poster
wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:21

Why are you sorry? Are you ok?

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MegBusset · 12/11/2008 22:22

How many times a day is she feeding? Probably easier to drop one feed at a time...

gemmiegoatlegs · 12/11/2008 22:22

it's your body, wonderstuff. You have done great!

Original poster
wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:25

On nursery days she feeds when we get home, before bed and then I loose track at night, feels like all night sometimes, probably 2-3 feeds, I don't get uncomfortable during the day at work, so I think my body will be okay, have tried slowly slowly, but end up giving in, one of those things I will start tomorrow..

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Zebraa · 12/11/2008 22:26

I started a thread yesterday because DS (11 months) has started biting me, when I pick him up he bites my shoulder and have had to stop breast feeding due to this. I just stuck at it and he's fine now! Good luck x

MegBusset · 12/11/2008 22:28

OK, I would perhaps tackle the night feeds first. Do you co-sleep? If so then have you read Dr Jay Gordon's method for cutting out night feeds while co-sleeping?

Original poster
wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:29

Was he very upset for long Zebraa?

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Zebraa · 12/11/2008 22:32

He cried for about an hour, but he hasn't been well (usual nursery cold) so he has been a bit fed up anyway. I'd just stick at it.

Original poster
wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:33

Meg it sounds fab but I just haven't got the energy to read it and remember what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm going to bed now, wish me luck x

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Original poster
wonderstuff · 12/11/2008 22:36

Just an hour, wow, bet it felt like forever though. Dh put dd to bed tonight, took 9 mins, but I found listening to her cry so stressful. Reckon I could cope with an hour though, will be strong!

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chunglimum · 12/11/2008 22:37

Ok, going to stick my neck out and sorry if this is not want you want to hear... I agree with MegBusset, you may feel quite differently if you just give up the night feeds - I did and the Jay Gordon method is helpful. The biting does pass...

But if you still want to stop, well done for going so long and hope it goes ok.

Greensleeves · 12/11/2008 23:21

Trinity, are you OK?

Hope so xx

Original poster
wonderstuff · 13/11/2008 19:21

Okay so it appears that this stopping bfing is really rather difficult. Last night DH put her to bed, 9 mins crying while dh lay next to her and sang and rubbed her back she was asleep. Then 2 hours later she awoke, again dh was able to get her back without too much trouble, I had the third shift, about an hour later and she cried for about 30 mins and it felt like for ever and she was so distressed I reluctently fed her, she had a couple more feeds after that, we tried for 10mins or so then fed her because we were both shattered by then. Today she had nursery, we distracted her until bedtime (normally she gets boobie as soon as she gets home) and then she nursed to sleep. Not sure what the plan is tonight. I feel so harsh, taking away her fave thing, but I still really am sick of bfing now and would love to buy nice bras and not worry about drinking too much and not have her pawing at me when shes a bit bored and and ... Any advice? Sorry for long dull post

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Original poster
wonderstuff · 13/11/2008 19:50

Bugger, shes woken up again, dh seeing to her, we are both sooo tired, and he has just finished tea, why won't she just sleep? She MUST be tired.. [pulling hair out emoticon]

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Original poster
wonderstuff · 13/11/2008 20:08

Shes still going, I feel sick, I can't keep feeding her to sleep, her daddy is with her, but this is so horrid Someone reassure me I'm doing the right thing, I'm not horrid and this will get easier really soon pleeese

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Original poster
wonderstuff · 13/11/2008 21:37

Seems I'm talking to myself this evening, but never mind, we got her up, gave her a bit of our tea, worrying that she was genuinly hungry, then some calpol, worrying that she is teething, then finally gave her some boobie, she only took a little then just sat on my lap and drifted off having a cuddle. We have decide I'll feed her tonight and then we'll try again tomorrow.

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Caz10 · 13/11/2008 21:44

Watching this with interest (and also wanted to say you are not talking to yourself ) DD is 11mths, biting and keeping me up all night...not sure what to do, and back at work FT so just generally exhausted and not up to having a "plan"...let us know how it goes

mamijacacalys · 13/11/2008 22:11

bf DS until 14 months when he started biting.
Nver really had a plan as to when I would wean but the biting seemed to start becoming a game - I was having none of that so just took the decision to go cold turkey. Boobs were sore for a day then fine.
Gave him a bottle of cow's milk instead (never took to formula). Would suck a bit for comfort then stop (he would never have a dummy). Stopped asking for milk in a bottle after a few months and just had milk/water ina cup with meals....
bf DD until 20 months. Suspected that she was comfort feeding a lot towards the end. Had the first night away from her ever and stayed overnight with a friend. DH just gave her a dummy when she cried. Didn't bf at all after that. She hadn't bitten me or anything but I was at the stage where I wanted my body back. Didn't have sore boobs at all which proved the theory she wasn't actually taking much anyway.
Good luck if you are trying to stop, it's a slightly weird time but you seem to be mentally prepared to wanting your body back and it is entirely OK to be feeling like that.

Original poster
wonderstuff · 14/11/2008 09:51

Caz it does seem that we are in a similar boat.
mamijacacalys thanks for sharing, were your dcs very upset when weaned? did they get over it quickly?

She woke 2 or 3 times last night, never really to sure of what happens at night as I'm always half asleep. She seemed to only feed for a short while, then unlatch, which is a definite improvement, as normally she will use me as a dummy and suck and suck for ages. THis morning she seems knackered, it was a very late night for her in the end I guess, I have just given her a really long feed to get her to sleep, cos she was tired, not very interested in breakfast and I've already had a really shit morning so really only up for taking the route of least resistance today.
I am however now worrying that I'm sending mixed messages, I think the plan for the weekend will be to cut back as much as possible on the evening and night feeds, generally she always feeds more on friday when it is just the two of us than on the weekend when daddy is around as well. Will have to see what dh is up for, he is really depressed at the moment, hence my shit morning and I don't know how much support he will be or how much energy he will require, but thats a whole other thread. I'll probably be back this evening

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hopefully · 14/11/2008 11:15

I haver no personal experience of this at all, but a close friend was in a similar position and found she didn't make progress until she came up with a fixed plan and stuck with it. For her it was (as far as I remember) she wouldn't feed during the day, as she had the strength to distract her little girl. she then fed at bed time, and during the night she wouldn't feed before midnight (her dp would go in and settle). I think she may have moved on to something like the first waking/first hour after midnight she wouldn't feed, then the first two, and so on.

That might not be the strategy for you, but I think the key is making a decision (with your dh) about what you can and can't do - if you're not yet determined enough to stop night feeds, then don't - there's no point torturing yourself and then giving in and feeding anyway - it might give mixed messages and only means you all suffer more.
Alternatively, you might decide you can be strong and cut all night feeds, and during the day you will feed her if she can't be distracted.

Hope that doesn't sound patronising - as I say, I have bog all experience, I'm just pinching someone else's advice!

Good luck with it, and hope you can get the support you need from your DH

Original poster
wonderstuff · 14/11/2008 11:21

Hopefully you are right, you have articulated what I guess I knew deep down. I need a plan, I'm rubbish at routine, prob why I have a one year old that doesn't sleep in the first place. Will get a plan...

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hopefully · 14/11/2008 11:54

When you find one, let me know!

You have done fantastically, your 1yo has had an amazing start in life because of you BFing for a year, it is allowed that you want to begin the process of ending BF.

Don't beat yourself up with a difficult plan, just start with what you know you can stick to. You can always make a new plan when you have succeeded with this one!