DD bit me really hard this evening, going to try to stop bf, hold my hand

[wonderstuff]

She is one now, not been brave enough to cut off her supply, but really not enjoying it much anyway. This evening she bit me really hard, and dragged herself off, was very painful, then she gave me a huge grin, one of those 'gosh how clever am I to make mummy squeal' looks. Was the final straw to make me really want to give up. Plan is to go cold turkey tonight, but last time we tried that (before general aneasthetic) she cried for 2 hours and tomorrow I have work so she may get a feed if I'm desperate, but I so want to wean her now, had enough of being her dummy, its been lovely, but I want my body back now..

It's OK Trinity - I know what you mean. It's such a comfort for them - even if it drives you mad sometimes.

Probably best not to open the thread - but then I've gone and done exactly the same thing!

I've been there Wonderstuff with dd1. Got fed up with lying there (she was a slow feeder). But I wasn't able to say 'no', so in the end I carried on. Just accepted that it wouldn't be forever (tho' it did seem like that sometimes). Used to wonder if I'd ever get to wear a normal nice bra.

Good luck Wonderstuff, whatever you do, and well done for bfing for so long.

I completely understand how you feel about wanting to get your body back when they start being rough with you. I stopped feeding DS1 at 13 mths after a particularly painful bite but I was very fortunate as he was already having a bottle a day and I scared him so much when I yelped that he never wanted to come near me again unless I was brandishing a bottle.

DS2 was more difficult, he didn't bite, he pulled and pulled so badly I ended up with cracked skin and an infection in one side. We tried to carry on for a while on one side only but had to give up because he was pulling the other side too and making me sore. He was 16 months, he was fidgetty and difficult to settle to feeding unless really tired or hungry so he was probably ready.

From my own experience I think you have to get your DH involved, if he is up to it. Your DD will associate you with milk and comfort and will get upset of you are close and don't give it to her. For a couple of nights it will have to be your DH who tends to her until she has 'forgotten' about breastfeeding. It shouldn't take too long, if you go cold turkey but it will be very hard for all of you. DH will have to take the brunt of her upset and you will have to stay out of the way and listen, knowing you have the means to make it stop, even if you don't want to. DH could offer water and nothing else.

I have seen it done on TV with an expert guiding somebody through it and it only took about 3 nights. It took us a bit longer as we weren't as strict and also because DS2 did sometimes sleep through the night anyway so we were lucky in that respect.

You have done a fantastic job though and you are entitled to say enough is enough. Please don't feel guilty.

Good luck.

Quick update on last night. I have decided that we are going to focus on cutting out the night feeds first, she copes well on the days I work without any boobie milk, so if we can get her off the boob at night we've almost cracked it. Thankfully dh was able to be really supportive last night, she fed to sleep then woke probably between 11 and 12 (which is really good for her) DH tried to settle her then, she wasn't happy and cried alot, kept crashing out and then waking up again a minute later, at 1.30 I decided to feed her, she was getting really stressed and so was I, so not sure what to do tonight, either repeat what we did last night or try to push back until 2am.. Obviously the eventual aim is to keep pushing it later until we aren't feeding at night then cut the morning and evening feed out and bingo she's weaned, some time around 2012 at this rate but hey at least I know we're getting there.

Wonderstuff - Neither of my dc's was that upset iirc.
With DD, I kept going until 20 months because she was a real boob monster and unlike DS had never bitten me. Loved bf but the balance had tipped slightly to my selfish side and I wanted my body back. It felt right to stop because she really was using me as a dummy, which sounds like the case with your DD.
We had co-slept the whole time until then. Therefore the going away overnight and leaving her with DH was a significant change in routine which helped kick-start her weaning. We just used a dummy after that if she woke up at night or got upset etc. She is now 2yrs 4 months, so it's 8 months since I stopped bf. We coincided the weaning to moving her into her own room/single bed (We were co-sleeping in the spare room double bed). We made a big fuss that she was now a big girl with her own room and kept re-inforcing the changed bed-time routine. She still wakes once or twice at night but I just insert the dummy and cuddle her back to sleep.
I think it is entirely natural to have some guilt and other various mixed emotions when you stop bf, as I regarded it as a tangible, significant element of the bond with my babies. But I'm a strong believer in following instinct and if it feels right to stop it's because your body's telling you that.
You seem to be preparing a good plan, so good luck.
Sorry about the long post, HTH, xx

So a quick update. On Sat night she was settled twice without too much fuss then she woke up at 12.45 and wasn't sobbing as she had done on Friday but shouting at us, more cross than upset. I fed her after she kicked dh in the balls at about 1.20!
Sunday we had a late late night, my dad had us over for Sunday dinner and we didn't eat until 7pm!! So she finally got to bed around 9, let me settle her once and then dh settled her around 11pm then she slept until 4.30!! So I fed her and unlatched her and she drifted back to sleep and didn't wake up again until 9am!! I feel amazing today, I haven't yawned once.

The plan is to not feed her until after 1.30 for the rest of the week then push it back to 2am on Friday, and slowly slowly stop night feeds then work on dropping the daytime ones. I'm refusing to feed her in public now as well, I'm just not comfortable anymore and can't rely on her to not start looking around mid feed leaving me exposed

She woke up when I went to put her down, dh has just laid with her for 20 mins singing to her to get her back to sleep, I hate hate hate listening to her cry, shes just stopped, hopefully thats it for tonight...

Hope you have a good night.

Thanks mamijacacalys. I work on a Tues, so obviously she was awful last night. Up every hour and then when we did feed she fed so much she was sick - she was very clingy yesterday too, am I undoing all the good work I did to make my little one so confident? I'm not being unreasonable am I? Can't see an alternative so going to try again tonight, soo tired, I hope tonight will be better.

It's a change in routine so there will inevitably be some interim stress/upheaval for her.
My DD is still really clingy when tired or ill although she has been off the boob for 8 months...
I am not particularly 'pro' or 'anti' dummies - my approach has always been along the 'whatever makes life easier' line. DS never took to a dummy at any stage whereas DD become a lot more dependent on hers to go to sleep/soothe when I stopped bf. Have you tried a dummy to help soothe your DD instead of the boob? If she fed until she was sick sounds like she wants the comfort of teh sucking more than anything. DD started with the NUK shaped dummy before adapting to a normal shape one.
(Next big upheaval for me will be trying to wean her off the dummy... )
Good luck tonight

Sadly she doesn't like dummies, she had one from 4 weeks, but when she got to about 4 months she started refusing it, she would throw it out of the cot, I was gutted, since then only boobie will soothe. Maybe I'll try again, at least give her an alternative...?

Awful night last night, seemed like she was constantly awake, but she was bright as a button this morning, dh and I are shattered. But it has to get better right? No going back now..

Still here, hope you sleep better tonight...

Well I did think about going with her to bed at 8ish, but dh has really annoyed me and now I can't sleep!!

Last night was much better, reckon I got at least 4 hours sleep, and its amazing how good that can make you feel.
She let me cuddle her to sleep and woke up once then slept til 2.30 fed and then went back to sleep til 6 I think (always a bit blury)
Fingers crossed we've broken the back of it. Only relised today how out of it I was at work yesterday