End of breastfeeding- please sympathise

[RinkyDinkyPinky]

I have tried so hard but can't supply enough for my baby,
DD is 4 1/2 months old. I BF without problems up to 3 months but then my supply crashed following an argument with DH. I then took metoclopramide to boost my milk supply but have realised that I'm sinking into depression (one of it's side effects). I've stopped taking that now and my milk supply has pretty much stopped within 24 hours. DD lasted 30 mins on the last feed last night before guzzling a bottle of forumla milk.
I have loved breastfeeding DD and am heartbroken that I can't do it when I once could. I feel BF is a beautiful and tender thing to do. My support network is pretty crap- both my parents are dead and in-laws are the other side of the world and not supportive of BF anyway. My friends are all to far away.
I want to feel good about what I have achieved, my HV thinks I'm amazing, but I feel really sad that I can't do this any more. And it feels like a shift in my relationship with my beautiful DD. I have a 2 yo DD too so my hands are full- can't spend all day expressing etc.
I think I'm resigned that this is this end of BF for me now, but it does feel too soon, especially as DD is so young, and I'm sad.

You poor thing. I only managed 10 days and felt bloody awful about it all, to be honest (long story but DS had his jaw pushed out of alignment by forceps so couldn't latch). You have done an amazing thing and have given your little girl an amazing start in life.

I still feel guilty to this day. but I look at my DS who is a happy, chilled-out, healthy and thriving little chap and know that he was fine on formula.

It'll take time to make the adjustment in your head, but I know you'll be fine. It sounds as tho you need some support..

Hope all goes well x

rinkydinky...

please phone one of the bfing helplines. they can counsel rather than give only feeing advice.

the numbers are om the right of this page

good luck.

don't give up entirely - you can still breast feed - even mix feed with formula sometimes and breast feed others.

How do you know you have no milk ?

And a baby guzzling from a bottle of formula doesn't mean they didn't get breast milk - it is really very easy to suck from a bottle - it doesn't necessarily mean they are hungry.

rinky - this is your choice, natch, but dont make it solely on the basis of not having milk.

Supplies do not 'crash' after three months, no matter what the stress...they can seemingly disappear, but they do return, sometimes after 24 hours (though I have spoken to people who have had a massive shock who report slightly longer 'return' times).

If your baby feeds often and removes milk often from both breasts, day and night, your milk supply will be fine. Dont break your heart - if you want to continue bf, you can, and if you call the helplines you will find support whatever your decision, and some informed suggestions on what to do to protect bf if you decide to continue.

Many (most?) babies will take a bottle after a breastfeed unless they are totally zonked out. It's never a reliable sign of having/not having breastmilk.

Rinky.. {{BIG HUGS}}

Is it possible you could be getting your period back? This would make your milk supply reduce a little...

Also, please don't make yourself feel like that.. You have done a brilliant job to breastfeeding for so long. Like others have already said this does not need to be the end. Have you tried taking one of the Motherlove Herbal Remedies?

*They are made with certified organic galactagogue herbs that have been used safely and effectively worldwide for generations.
*Are manufactured in an FDA registered, GMP certified facility.
*Are tested for bacteria, lead and heavy metals.
*Do not contain dairy, egg, fish, shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat or gluten.
*Are certified Kosher by KOF-K.

I noticed a massive increase within 2 days of starting it.

I second the herbs - fenugreek boosted my supply at 6 months.
Also try and do what tiktok says, she knows....

determiation is right - sometimes the onset of a period can make things different for a v. short while. Sometimes, babies start to fuss at the breast and even rejct it - thought to be a temp. change in the taste.

thank you everyone for your brilliant and supportive posts. Ineedmorechoc- you really get how I'm feeling!

tiktok- In answer to your question, I feel my supply has diminished since stopping the metoclopramide because my breasts are now softer/ less full and DD is taking a lot longer to feed and settling for less time between feeds. She doesn't seem the satisfied baby that she had been. My supply did crash before with DD1 (now 2yo) when we had a disasterous house move and long-distance travel to a BF-unfriendly place in the first two months. (I was so naiive, I didn't anticipate the support that a new mum needs). So maybe it's my predisposition to "shut down" in times of stress.
I don't want to be fatalistic and I won't give up easily but I do want to be realistic given my circumstances.

I have contacted a BF support line, thanks foxytocin, and they were v helpful and supplied me with more info to help my supply.

Thanks for the hugs determination, I am looking into the herbs and have contacted a local medical herbalist.

I am going to give it another week or two.

Rinky,
I used the More MIlk Special Blend then the More Milk Plus and within 2 days i had turned my house into a Dairy Farm!!

When i was in the shower i would squirt milk about 1 meter ahead of me! This stuff really works and works fast.

Hang in there, you are doing a great job

RinkyDinky -

Best of luck to you. I found that by three of four months my breasts no longer felt full with milk, but they were! Neither do I any longer have a let-down reflex and we're still bf at ten months.

I had a rough time at first with bf - different from you. I never wanted to give up but I can understand when some mums in a tricky position want to go for formula as it seems 'reliab;e'. Obviously this is not you, so I would say with the right advice yo've got every chance.

Have you got a local Breastfeeding Network group? They were great and I still go, just for a chat.

We had another terrible day and night. DD clung to me all day and was unputdownable whilst my poor DD1, who's 2yo had to play by herself. Each feed felt like there was less there and left her less satisfied. Last night DD took an hour of cuddling and walking to settle after each feed and lasted only short spells between feeds. She's refusing to take a bottle but I know I am not supplying enough. I am waiting to pick up a prescription of domperidone from the GP today. If she refuses to take any FF (I know she did once but she won't now, even with me out of the room and DH feeding her) then I need to take the domperidone to be able to feed her. I know my supply is not good since stopping the metoclopramide (the reason I was on it to start with!) I feel so pressured to provide against the odds.
I would be interested in real causes for low milk supply- could a family history of low thyroid function be a reason.
Sorry this is a lot of information- I just have to write it down somewhere to try to make sense of it all.

Kellymom says this about thyroid issues and bf, so perhaps it's worth looking into.

Hang in there, you're doing so well to struggle on like this. Have you got a sling so you can carry DD2 and play with DD1 at the same time?

I found this too.

Rinky, it sounds like your perception of low milk supply is accurate....doing what you are doing, feeding often and keeping her close, and investigating pharmaceutical boosts to supply, are the right things and should turn things around.

Hope your doc is co-operative.

I would definately 2nd the sling idea. This would allow you to feed hands free so you can still play with your dd1.

However, i would have to disagree with taking the pharmaceutical drugs - as you have said earlier the side effects are depression and this is why you stopped taking it. The motherlove herbal range which i posted a link for earlier is all natural and there are no side effects AND it would boost your supply just as good as IF NOT BETTER than domperidone.

Hang in there.

I believe you when you say you have low milk - but one thing I found when I was trying to express exclusively for my twins - the more I stressed about not having enough the worse it got and the less milk I had.

It may well be that your dd is going through a growth spurt, or teething and this is upsetting her, and it is coinciding with a dip in your milk and it is all increasing to stress you out making it a vicious circle.

Try the sling - just having her close may settle her, allow you to relax a bit and help break the cycle.

Have you tried a dummy ? - some people hate them - but at that age just having something to suck is what they need.

And don't worry about your 2 year old - she will be fine - you can talk with her while you are doing things with the baby (eg feeding) - maybe sing songs or read books - play music and get her to dance for you.

And don't try to be superwoman - the more your think you aren't measuring up to high standards you the more of a failure you feel - when actually you are doing as well as the rest of us ever manage in that situation .

by the way - a good alternative to medicine to boost milk supply is fenugreek capsules - I used them and they did help increase supply.

Hnang on in there. Fennel tea did my supply some good I think. Just say as no one lese, I think, has mentioned it.

Hows things going Rinky?

Determination? You know about antibiotics and bf, don't you?

There's a lady here needs some advice.

Sorry for gatecrash.

Yes you don't need to stop completely!! Did you know that one breastfeed a day gives as much immunity as 8 as the breastmilk gets more concentrated as you produce less.

A friend of mine mix fed and described it in a really nice way - he gets formula for growth and breastmilk as his medicine! What a lovely way to think of it!!

my supply is a bit on the fragile side too, am guzzling all the things mentioned here, including domperidone. i really, really notice a difference if i wear dd for the afternoon or so, plus she settles well in a sling. it's an easy place to start, imo.

Plus, babies have a mega growth spurt at around 3 mths when they want to feed ALL THE TIME!!! Sounds like this might be happening! Trust your boobs! They will keep up but you need to feed very often for a few days, then it should settle down.

I don't want to sound patronising but getting stressed is really not going to help. Babies really pick up on stress and then will associate it with feeding

Do you have a sling? You can carry baby around and play with the toddler at the same time!

Can you do some skin-to-skin at the bad feeding times. Even though baby is older, it still works just as well as when they're new born. Keeps them calm, keeps you calm and makes for a plesurable feeding experience. Give it a go!!

Good luck, and lots of hugs. Are there any breastfeeding counsellors or drop in groups in your area? Please see someone if you can!

Rinky - I found 4 - 6 m really hard, your supply pans out naturally then and they want to feed feed feed. If you are having other feeding problems then it would make it harder.

I found that in the morning my supply was the best so I would offer her loads then. We would venture out in the afternoons when she would sleep in the pram and that led to a battle over bedtime

Perhaps if you are going to mix feed (even for a while) you should consider the late afternoon feed first. Then BF at bedtime as LO is used to and see how it goes?

My breats were soft all the time at this point as well. However it did not mean the end of BFing - in fact she is still feeding at 26m.

OK, I've been taking the domperidone for 3 days now but I'm still not up to capacity yet. How long does it take Aitch?
I've also got the motherlove remedy. And I'm really trying to stay calm...
BUT we've had 5 bad hungry nights in a row- last night DD woke to feed every 1 1/2 hours and didn't get much each time. Breasts feel empty.
AND she's refusing any attempt to give her a bottle. Although I'd like to BF, I'd be happy for her to take a bottle of formula just so we can all have a couple of hours to recover. But she thrashes and screams and ends up needing a lot of comfort to settle after any attempt with a bottle. (stubborn little mite!)
Admittedly all this is really stressing me out. It feels like I'm stuck between

1. continue to try BF and hope and pray that the remedies will work, and hope that they do before I turn into a complete wreak from lack of sleep and stress. (DD1 is starting to get fed up with me not being able to play with her as much)
2. stop the BF attempts on empty breasts and let DD2 scream it out until she accepts a bottle. I hate the idea of her screaming for me whilst we try to give her a bottle. Then accept that BF didn't work.