End of breastfeeding- please sympathise

[RinkyDinkyPinky]

I have tried so hard but can't supply enough for my baby,
DD is 4 1/2 months old. I BF without problems up to 3 months but then my supply crashed following an argument with DH. I then took metoclopramide to boost my milk supply but have realised that I'm sinking into depression (one of it's side effects). I've stopped taking that now and my milk supply has pretty much stopped within 24 hours. DD lasted 30 mins on the last feed last night before guzzling a bottle of forumla milk.
I have loved breastfeeding DD and am heartbroken that I can't do it when I once could. I feel BF is a beautiful and tender thing to do. My support network is pretty crap- both my parents are dead and in-laws are the other side of the world and not supportive of BF anyway. My friends are all to far away.
I want to feel good about what I have achieved, my HV thinks I'm amazing, but I feel really sad that I can't do this any more. And it feels like a shift in my relationship with my beautiful DD. I have a 2 yo DD too so my hands are full- can't spend all day expressing etc.
I think I'm resigned that this is this end of BF for me now, but it does feel too soon, especially as DD is so young, and I'm sad.

Rinky I'm no expert but your DD waking every 1.5hours at 4 months is not necessarily a sign of no milk - many many babies do this anyway at 4m. My DS did and he was bottle fed so I knew exactly how much milk he was taking (very small feeds) and I could not persuade him to take more and go longer. If you look at the sleep threads you will find loads of other mothers struggling with babies waking up countless times at 4m even when they have slept well before then.

Looking at it from a different perspective, if you do have low supply then your DD suckling at night will really help to stimulate your breasts to increase production - like a newborn would. So perhaps for a week or so you could look at it in that way and not see it as poor feeds but good supply building?

Best of luck, your determination is really inspiring

Rinky,

I would stop taking the domperidone and JUST take the motherlove remedy. This should kick in within 24-48hours with NO SIDE EFFECTS. Eat porridge or oat cakes too throughout the day and this will increase your supply for sure.

Feed on demand... just read your lo and wait/watch for her cues. Trust in yourself. You are the best mummy in the world and you are made to produce milk for your dd. Get yourself a camomile tea and sit back, relax and look at the beautiful little girl you produced. You will have milk in abundance if only you will believe it and stop stressing about it. If you have one- you should use a sling too and get some valuable cuddling time.

TPL- I don't feel like the only one now after looking at sleep threads! that helps
Determination- what a lovely message, I have my camomile tea here and have taken the motherlove remedy...

When did you start the ticture Rinky?

You will need to keep us all updated on your progress . I started to majorly feel the letdown again it was like my breast was building up for a massive explosion then i would spray everywhere soaking everyone and everything within 1.5mtr radius!

I'm not an expert, but until around 6mo, DS was still feeding every couple of hours, day and night. I don't know whether there was anything wrong with my supply (I never thought so!) but DS gained weight steadily, was happy, alert etc.

I'm not saying there isn't anything wrong with your supply because I can't know that, but my DS often fussed at the breast, would almost never take a bottle of expressed milk (and SIL preferred to walk him round for hours to keep him settled rather than offering him a bottle as he got so very upset by it (I went to work from about 3 months for about 3 hours a week))

Also I know its harder with a young child, but I have a friend with a 22mo DD and a 10wk DD. She wears the baby in a sling pretty much all day and she's very content, and the friend is hands free to play with her elder daughter.

Get as much help as you can with other stuff, relax and spend as much time with your new DD as posslible, it may well help you.

Good luck!

How is your baby's weight gain? Nappies? Are there other reasons to suggest poor supply? My periods returned at 4 months and like clockwork, every 4 weeks my supply is temporarily affected and dd doesn't seem to be happy whilst nursing (she's 18 months old).

My dd fed every 2 hours day and night until she was 7 months. From about 4 months my breast were always soft, never full like in the early days as my body had worked out how much to make.

I am sorry it's so hard atm. It sounds like you're doing a tremendous job on little sleep.

Just thought i would post this for you Rinky
The Impact of Thyroid Dysfunction on Lactation seen how you mentioned it earlier on this thread wink