Calling all extended b/feeders & co-sleepers..

[Pish]

Are there any of you who haven't resorted to night-weaning? Any stories/experiences gratefully received... Thanks!

ace name!

And no, sorry. It was easy though more cross than sad. i did it in stages up till midnight, up till 4 and er haven't done the last one yet for dd2.

I wore un tuggable clothes to avoid stealth feeding...

offered stories, a drink, a cuddle three nights and it was sorted. same for next stage and so on. def more hungry in the am.
Vcross (45mins maybe)the first night, cross the second (20mins), night 3 a quick pat and back to sleep.

Hope it goes well!

I haven't night-weaned DS2 yet, and he's nearly 4...

I haven't (yet!). DD1 I did a half-baked attempt at nightweaning from around 15 months (slept elsewhere to start then in from first waking; started offering cups of water and sending in DH; didn't really persist very hard and she eventually slept through "properly" ie 10+ hours around 21 months). Am much more lazy laid-back second time - DD2 is 23 months and still feeds a couple of times a night: I sleep in the spare room to start with then with her from first waking (any time between 12-4). What in particular did you want to know?

Nothing in particular, Boogeek. My dd is 2.5 and still wakes somewhere between 3 and 9 times a night. I'm just eager to hear what others in my situation do about it, if anything.

Policywonk, nearly 4...... not sure I'll live that long. Does he wake much?

I haven't yet. DS (nearly 3) keeps seeming to get better on his own. We keep travelling where I want a guaranteed means of keeping him quiet on ferry/sleeper train/grandparents house.

But I do want to now as am pg again and he can't still be feeding at night when (God willing) the new baby comes along.

DS can sometimes go all the way through the night (ish till 5am or so) but often will feed three or four times a night and still climb on my face for half an hour at 5am then get up. This has got to stop, really. But too sick and tired to face doing it at mo.

Psychobabble, DS did that too; it was murder, but it suddenly got much better (round about 15 months. Sorry) and gradually improved without my having to do much about it. Don't know if that helps you at all or not.

We had DS in a cot (then bed) until we were ready to go to bed, so I could (and did) repeatedly put him back through the evening.

I always wanted dd to self-wean, but had to pretty much day-wean at just over 2yrs. Always a prolific feeder, she rarely went longer than an hour between feeds and we weren't getting anything done or going anywhere.

The weaning itself wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but backfired in that when she is allowed to feed, she wants it long and often.

I've been living in hope that it will resolve itself by her naturally sleeping longer and more deeply as she gets older....

Psychobabble, dd was like that too, in the evenings, but it has improved. I put her to bed a bit later, don't let her nap too long during the day and she usually gives me 3-4 hours on first going down.

Breastfed my ds til he was 2.5, still co sleep with him (now 3.5 years). I just couldn't cope with the broken sleep any longer when he was 2, so decided to stop night feeding although I thought it would be IMPOSSIBLE. To my surprise, MUCH easier than I thought. Hell first night, slightly less the next until fully weaned and sleeping through night for first time ever within a week. Both of us better rested and happy. Best thing I did.

I did explain to him beforehand the plan, and talked about it every day, confirming that if he woke in the night he wouldn't get the breast, but he would get water and cuddles if he wanted.

It's difficult not to buckle when you first start, you have to be committed and 100% sure that's what you want to do otherwise it's unecessary distress for both of you.

DS is 15 months so I am a bit of a newb compared to you lot but we haven't night weaned because he too seems to get better by himself, usually precisely when we're having major discussions about how to resolve the problem of the moment.

He still reverts to waking at 11pm every night and kicking up hell for a BF when he's teething but otherwise it all seems to be slowly getting better. He probably BFs 4 times from bed at 7 until getting up at 6ish, mostly because I find it easier to roll over and let him have yet another BF than get up!

Co-sleeping is waning now though - he goes to bed in a cot, comes in with me for a BF on waking and then often ends up back in the cot because he finds it harder to settle in with us at night now

You lot are hardcore though

TBH I'm not sure if I really want to wean her completely yet. She's my only one, can't have more, so no hurry there.

The sleep dep goes from being ok, to pretty unbearable, but I don't have to work so can usually come through it.

Not sure she'd sleep through anyway, she doesn't always feed to sleep anymore, just wants my arm around her. Sometimes doesn't even want milk when she does wake.

Getting a bit of pressure though and if I hear "she's using you as a dummy" just one more time I'll scream.

It does help to hear other people's stories though.

You could just not tell people ;)
I don't mention it to anybody unless they actually ask - and even then, depending who it is and how they ask, I might emphasise starting the night in a different room rather than cosleeping iyswim.

My DS weaned me!
He wasn't really taking anything and has never asked for food...never cried for it as a baby ever. Quite unsettling when he was little...and some have to remember to give him dinner if I'm under the weather iykwim

ds1 self-night-weaned somewhere between 18 months and 2, I think. He stopped wanting to be bf to sleep around 2 (he would stop feeding, look at m and say '[I want to] go to bed'), but he still had - and still has - a bf at bedtime. ds2 was born when he was 2.4. We all bedshaed - with due attention to safety, of course - until he was nearly 3, at which point we moved him to his own bedroom. He's 3.5 now and although he is still more or less demand bf in the day (he only asks 2 or 3 times) it probably would not occur to him to ask at night.

I tandem feed. ds2 is 13 months and co-sleeps and feeds 3 or 4 times a night.

I am a firm advocate of going with the flow, but can see how your situation must be particularly wearing.

we bedshared until ds1 was nearly 3. Sorry, unclear post.

I love co-sleeping but DH just didn't like it...was really worried he would roll over etc and as a result didn't sleep...even now if DS (2yrs) is poorly and in with us he can't sleep. I had a choice, my DH or DS in my bed...sad but don't regret choosing DH (much)

Oh lord I do sympathise,we co-sleep with our dd1 (3 and three quarters)and the baby (17m)
I don't feed dd1,she stopped just before dd2 was born,but dd2 wakes a lot-usually 4 times a night sometimes more.Only once has she slept from midnight ish to 7 am without waking,it was last week but the next night she woke about 6 or 7 times hmmm.I don't think she is ready to night wean,I think she would go bonkers actually and that would wake up dd1 too so all hell would break lose.DD1 accepted night weaning at two ish I think,I just told her we would save it all for the morning and she seemed to accept it.

Sorry, had to go out for a bit...

No, DS2 doesn't wake up much at night these days - maybe once between about 7pm and 6am, twice if I'm unlucky. More and more often I'm saying 'sleepy time now, no feeding' and he accepts it without much fuss these days. He was like your DD in that he was tremendously enthusiastic about feeding, and at one point I seriously doubted whether he would ever show signs of weaning, but we're getting there, albeit very slowly.

I agree that you just shouldn't tell people if their response is stressing you out - it's no-one else's business, after all.

Have you tried Dr Jay Gordon's partial night-weaning technique? Maybe that could be the halfway house you're looking for?

My baby is only 10 months next week and has recently been going through from 7 till 5 without bfeed. Now wondering wether i'm doing something wrong. I want to feed him for as long as he wants. He has about 5 feeds in 24 hours and i usually lay with him and when he naps sleep with him.

He does often change his routine though when teething, poorly or trying to build up supply. He also usually takes about a 40 min feed from one side and then has the other.

can i just say wasnt being smug either, just wondering if this is how it is likely to go onor if it is a phase and that i should relish the sleep whilst i can

My DD is 2.3 and still an avid BFer, she feeds wherever and whenever she fancies. In the past 2.3 yrs whenever I've tried to impose any regime on her, it just doesn't go very well and goes against what I instinctively feel. I often think that I'd be much happier if I had never read any books on parenting etc, we truly already know everything we need to know. We co-sleep not because it was a conscious decision but because it was the easiest thing to do, the "path of least resistance" is now my moto!!! My DD still feeds anything from 1 to 6 times in the night, and I certainly couldn't cope with that if I had to go to another room to BF and settle my DD. As for night weaning, I think about it every so often but in the end I just resolve to let it run its course. Having said all that, the only issue I'm currently having is that I still haven't got my periods back, it's been over 3 yrs now and there's no sign of them. We do want another DC so not sure if that will force me to make changes I'm not keen to make. Great to know we're not alone!

My ds is three tomorrow and although we have been working on night weaning, it was much easier than I thought and only took two nights. He was previously feeding all night, or is seemed that way anyway.

He starts off in his own bed and now seems to wake at 3am and 5.30am. I consider 5.30am to be the middle of the night, but for now, I am willing to feed him at that time because he usually goes back off to sleep. I normally sleep with himm from when he wakes at 3am, but if I don't fall asleep then I go back to my own bed.

Have you read "how weaning happens"? There is a suggestion in there that you pick two times (eg 11pm until 5am) when you are not going to feed, and you stick to it, gradually extending the non-feeding period.

They also say something along the lines of if they give it up fairly easily then it was just a habit, but if it causes upset then it is still a need.

I resorted to night weaning because I didn't see that my ds would ever stop unless he got a nudge, but we are still feeding morning/night and a couple of times in the day. I think he has benefitted from having some boundaries instead of being allowed to feed whenever he wants.

It is hard though, whichever way you decide to do things. Good luck

buttonmeup i think maybe just that all babies are different, not that you are doing something "wrong" - ds2 had stopped waking for a night feed by about 8 months whether he was in his cot or our bed. He likes his sleep (when he eventually conkes out!) ds1 also didn't want to feed in the night at that age, despite being awake most of the night teething...