Hospitalised bfing mum of 12 day old not allowed to keep baby with her...

[FloriaTosca]

Sorry this is a long one. My friend, E, is having a very rough time of it...after a stressful pg and a 5 day labour she finally gave birth to her pfb dd 12 days ago, they were discharged a week last Thursday but yesterday she was rushed back into hospital with a kidney infection and kidney stones. She is on intravenous fluids (nil by mouth)and antibiotics but despite being in a private room and the fact that she is breastfeeding, the hospital wont let her have her baby stay with her .... Yesterday another friend sat with them all day so the baby could be with her but the hospital refuse to let the friend or dh stay with her and the baby overnight ... poor E was utterly distraught when we took dd away (with a bottle of ebm)last night, baby didnt take bottle or settle with her father all night (he is now already complaining that he needs 8 hours sleep to cope with work!)E was crying with the pain of being over engorged before dh could get dd into the hospital this am. She is very worried that she will either develop mastitis or dry up. She is utterly distraught over dd being out of her sight (we are worried about pnd)and frightened it will affect their bonding. Hospital in blinkers can't seem to see past the immediate kidney problem....
Personnally I'd discharge myself and insist on treatment by GP,at home, but I'm a different sort of personality. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can make this sad situation work ?

A lady was on the maternity ward with me when I had DD with her 2 week old baby- because she needed hospital treatment (not maternity related) and the other wards couldn't let her keep the baby with her, so they compromised by allowing her onto a maternity ward and her docs etc. would just have to visit her on that ward rather than the usual one for her condition. She had a side room too.

May be worth asking about. This is a totally unacceptable situation and puts both mother and baby at risk of both emotional and physical problems. It is utter madness

contactPALSthat usually puts a rocket up their jacksie and NHS complaints procedure

written letter to Director of nursing too

dreadful really

I had an op 3 days after childbirth and was put on the post-op (ceasarian) matrnity bay.

I was in hospital when DD2 was 3 weeks old, and was EBF her. She was allowed to say with me aslong as I had a private room and could care for her myself. However, I got a lot sicker after a few days and physically could not care for her. I should also say I wasnt allowed to BF her as my kidneys were failing and i was jundice and i was highly medicated, and was pumping and dumping. BUT the hospital was fab, got me a breast pump to pump and dump, always had private room and DD2 was allowed in with dh anytime, so they stayed all day. HTH and your friend gets help asap

This is awful. I was admitted to hospital briefly when my exclusively breastfed daughter was three months old. The staff did everything possible to help me and let her stay with me practically all the time I was there (apart from while I was actually having an operation). A 12 day old is much more vulnerable than a three month old and needs her mother and her mother's milk. God, I've gone all hot and cross thinking about it. Floria, you're a good friend. Hope your friend gets it sorted asap.

I'm a midwife and if a mum is admitted to hospital within the first six weeks after birth, even with an unrelated problem, then every effort is made to treat her in a side room on a postnatal ward. She is known as a 'postnatal readmission'. This way, she can keep the baby with her and have help caring for him/her. I cannot imagine it any other way!!

I was admitted with gall bladder probs when my ds was six weeks - I was treated in a general medical ward but was told I would be welcome to keep ds with me as long as I could care for him. I asked if dh could stay overnight if I couldn't and they said he could have some bedding and camp out with ds in the day room!! Not great, I know, but they were so helpful and accommadating even though they were so busy and understaffed.

I agree - don't let this lie!!!

Maybe they have said the baby cant stay because the Mum is not well enough to look after the baby and there arent enough staff to take on a childcare role through the night when the visitors have all gone home?
Thats the first thing that springs to my mind when you say the reason they give is lack of staff to care for an extra person on the ward.

This is outrageous.

FT, I hope that your friend can be moved to a side room on the postnatal ward asap.

OMG that is beyond horrendous,. you've had good advice already so I won't add anything else, but please, please, please complain complain and complain some more.

in fact, I think I would be there with baby and just refuse to go.

i just.
i am actually quite lost for words.
awful

Thank you, Thank you, Thank You All!
I phoned the mutual friend who was helping and she called the maternity unit..they were as horrified as all of you and tried to find her a bed on their ward, sadly without sucess. The MW that delivered her even came down to see her and advise her... The reasons the ward had given for refusing to have the baby with her mother were precisely as some have speculated, low staff levels over the weekend and risk of infection (though I still fail to comprehend why her Dh or friend could not stay overnight as they did during the day to help).
The result is they demanded details of Es tests (which weren't due on the ward until tonight)they revealed that the area of infection round the kidney stone had reduced by 25% and so she wasn't going to need an immediate operation (apparently the reason they had put her on nil by mouth on admission). Consequently E has discharged herself and last I heard was preparing to go home with a pile of antibiotics and her mother and our friend as well as her dh to care for her and her lo ...as far as I am aware she is still going to be treated but as an outpatient and if she needs to be readmitted she will point blank refuse to be separated from R again.
Thank you all again for your help

So glad that mum and baby are back together again.

Hopefully when your friend feels stronger she will make a complaint, which might help prevent the same thing happening to another mum and baby.

oh I am so glad that it's been resolved. but cross too, that she has had to discharge herself.

she def needs to complain, once she feels up to it (although getting it all down on paper now while iot's fresh and she "feels" it might help)

Glad she is feeling better and is back with her baby. It is dreadful but unsurprising that she has actually self-discharged. Encouraging though that maternity were so supportive. It's very telling isn't it that they didn't have a bed - obviously nobody had spoken with them at all about her being readmitted. As others have said - that should have been the wards first point of call. I hope your friend continues to recover and that she complains big time about this!

Delighted to hear that your friend and her baby are re-united. I hope she, or your mutual friend feel able to follow this up. Just a phone call to the PALS office will suffice, this does not count as a formal complaint.

This is a truly horrible story and the hospital should be ashamed. Glad it worked out in the end but really...the impact that could have had not just physically for both of them but psychologically too. How is she feeling about the whole thing?

Floria, how are your friend and her baby now?