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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Hospitalised bfing mum of 12 day old not allowed to keep baby with her...

66 replies

FloriaTosca · 19/10/2008 14:47

Sorry this is a long one. My friend, E, is having a very rough time of it...after a stressful pg and a 5 day labour she finally gave birth to her pfb dd 12 days ago, they were discharged a week last Thursday but yesterday she was rushed back into hospital with a kidney infection and kidney stones. She is on intravenous fluids (nil by mouth)and antibiotics but despite being in a private room and the fact that she is breastfeeding, the hospital wont let her have her baby stay with her .... Yesterday another friend sat with them all day so the baby could be with her but the hospital refuse to let the friend or dh stay with her and the baby overnight ... poor E was utterly distraught when we took dd away (with a bottle of ebm)last night, baby didnt take bottle or settle with her father all night (he is now already complaining that he needs 8 hours sleep to cope with work!)E was crying with the pain of being over engorged before dh could get dd into the hospital this am. She is very worried that she will either develop mastitis or dry up. She is utterly distraught over dd being out of her sight (we are worried about pnd)and frightened it will affect their bonding. Hospital in blinkers can't seem to see past the immediate kidney problem....
Personnally I'd discharge myself and insist on treatment by GP,at home, but I'm a different sort of personality. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can make this sad situation work ?

OP posts:

Geepers · 19/10/2008 15:24

The reason they cited to me that babies were not allowed to stay on the ward was because of infection control.

unfitmother · 19/10/2008 15:27

Which is why they should be kept in a side room with their mother and someone who can look after the baby.
As a Ward Manager that is what I do if if I have a breastfeeding pt.

LadyOfRoffle · 19/10/2008 15:29

Esp. since she is already in a private room, not as if it's due to infection.

McDreamy · 19/10/2008 15:29

There's no denying having a new born on a ward is an infection control risk but a mother that wants to bf is more important. If she is happy to take the risk it is up to the staff to reduce the risk - side room, staff not interfering with the baby unless they have too, mum being discharged as soon as is appropriate.

If it is felt that the risk is till to high then they should transfer mum to a post natal ward which is full of new born babies!

NorthernLurker · 19/10/2008 15:30

I can see both sides of the infection control issue tbh - children are generally full of exciting bugs but also newborn babies are far more susceptible to infection and vulnerable to serous illness. Having said that - whilst the ward need to bear that issue in mind 'infection control' is no reason to sabotage a new mothers breastfeeding and cause her terrible distress. Neither is short staffing (although I'm sure they are short - all hospitals are at the weekends...) You just have to find a way round them - and treating the mum as if she isn't a mum just isn't one of them.

Mcdreamy - I do see what you're saying but whilst it's appropriate treament - it's NOT appropriate management of the patient is it?

chilledmama · 19/10/2008 15:34

f*cking inconsistent BF policy!!!!

sorry...I feel a rant coming on so will write no more except to ask that you keep us posted on your (hopeful) success!!!!!

unfitmother · 19/10/2008 15:34

Ward staff should not touch the baby at all, if the mother is too ill to care for it then another adult, like the OP, takes on that role.

McDreamy · 19/10/2008 15:37

You are quite right - I think we will have to agree to disagree.

I put my reasoning down to experience of patient after patient threatening to self discharge if something didn't happen expecting staff to be horrified to hear this and jump to their every demand - we weren't! (not talking about this case as I strongly feel the staff are wrong) If you want to self discharge - go! There are more appropriate ways to resolve conflict. (IMO)

unfitmother · 19/10/2008 15:40

Please let us know how you get on!

NorthernLurker · 19/10/2008 15:43

We're very civilised aren't we Mcdreamy?

I'm just concerned that as it's the weekend this poor woman may struggle to get her voice heard.

McDreamy · 19/10/2008 15:44

Lol

You're right, weekends are a crap time for things to go wrong. I really feel for her and her family. It's not supposed to be like this when you have a baby.

monkeymonkeymonkey · 19/10/2008 15:49

I agree. Sick, in hospital, and just had a baby after a difficult labour. And now all this nonsense. Hopefully she is able to get an appropriate response from the hospital and not some weekend fob-off.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/10/2008 15:53

As a nurse I am disgusted at the stance of this ward, when I had bf'ing patients admitted like others I did all I could to get a private room got a cot from maternity etc.

IMO the care of this patient, without a doubt also involves the care of the newborn due to the risk of mastitis etc from NOT breastfeeding, sounds like a very lazy excuse, and not at all in line with NHS policy.

Personally I would not leave things until toorrow but would start standing up for the right s of the child today - ie the right to be fed as it has been to this point and be near its mother at 12 days old fgs

This needs to be esculated and quickly to PALS to the on call manager and if no joy then to the media ( I wouldn't normally advocate media intervention but I do feel in this case it is justified)

GOOD LUCK and I hope your friend escapes soon!

pramspotter · 19/10/2008 15:55

On my ward we try to give nursing mums a private room and allow baby to stay. But do not expect the staff to touch the baby. They probably cannot even handle the number of patients they have let alone taking on the care of a newborn. We always encouraged family or friends to stay in the room with mum/baby if they want as well.

Self discharge is never a threat. If a patient self discharges because they are pissed off the hospital cannot be held liable for a thing.

NorthernLurker · 19/10/2008 15:56

This thread is full of furious NHS staff isn't it?

You're absolutely right about the mastitis though - if she gets that as well then she's going to be in a right state

mellyonion · 19/10/2008 16:00

i was rushed in to hopital with a very yukky gall bladder when my dd was 11 weeks old. she was exclusivly bf. i said i needed her to be with me. staff in a and e told me it was against policy, but up on the surgical ward, the surgeon told me "this is a hospital..we care for people....if you need your baby with you, then with you she shall be!" dh was promptly sent home to collect her moses basket and stuff....

i was given a side room. the nurses were lovely, but wouldn't touch her or hold her in case they passed infection on, and i had to care for her completely by myself.

i hope your friend gets her baby back with her very soon.

i agree. ring the midwife...see if they can help.

2manychips · 19/10/2008 16:15

I was admitted to hosp when my exclusively bf baby was 5wks old. The staff went out of there way to find me my own room and encourage me to maintain the bfeeding.They brought in a little cot for dd and as I had drips in back of both hands and they assisted positioning her for me. I too would have been distraught if they'd seperated us like that. How awful.

unfitmother · 19/10/2008 16:21

As it's the weekend it's probably junior staff in charge who do not understand how despicable their actions are.
Heads will probably roll in the morning!

NorthernLurker · 19/10/2008 16:40

I agree unfitmother - but it shouldn't really be junior heads that roll. They should know the policy on breastfeeding and be educated on how to apply it even when they are shortstaffed. There's a manager somewhere who hasn't pushed this issue and this is the result.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 19/10/2008 16:49

I was told that had I still been bf 12 week old dd when I went in then I could have taken dd in with me and would have been put on postnatal ward.

The fact that I couldnt bf partially because of them and their actions really riled me with this comment! I was in hospital 7 times without dd when dd was tiny and I do think our relationship has suffered as a result of this.

However she should push for baby to be allowed to stay.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 19/10/2008 16:50

sorry I should have said that the first time I went in dd was 3 weeks old and I wasnt allowed to take her with me, although I now know that they werent allowed to do this as head of midwifery services told me so.

unfitmother · 19/10/2008 16:51

If it's an adult medical ward they may well have never come across this policy before. The head that will roll be probably be the Ward Manager's (everything's always our fault) because their staff don't know the policy.
We don't know yet if this has been referred to a manager or if a junior member of staff has made this decision. I hope they have sought advice though.
I'm dying to know if the OP has managed to get anywhere, aren't you?

ClosedForCleaning · 19/10/2008 16:52

That's awful! I had to go into hospital when DS was about the same age and was given a private room in the maternity unit. (Despite not having given birth in hospital). I hope you can apply pressure and get them to change this.

ClosedForCleaning · 19/10/2008 16:55

Just another thought - my midwife would not discharge me at this point (usually discharged at 10 days IIRC). What's the midwife's view on this situation - and can she get it sorted?

(shall now go back and read thread properly)

teenspirit · 19/10/2008 16:57

This is terrible and alternative arrangements should be made asap - the hospital may have no beds on mat ward or the patient maybe too ill to be nursed there.
From an infection control point of view newborn babies should not be on normal wards but if they are barrier nursing then I can't see why not a private room. I would refuse point blank to be separated from my baby and refuse point blank to self discharge. Let management sort out where to put the patient and hang tight till they do.

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