1st time mum with 2 wk old feeling so confused about how to feed, pls help

[kookiegoddess]

Please bear with me, grateful if anyone has a minute to read and tell me if things will get better!

My baby was 6lb 3 oz (2.6kg) when born, lost about 15 % initially and then didn't poo on day 4-5 and MW said hmm she lost weight, not regained, not pooing, you need to express lots and top up with a bit of formula, milk doesn't appear to have come in (we'd had no yellow poo) and DD taking a long time to feed. MW also thought there may be a tongue tie, had this checked and no tongue tie - DD has no frenulum so tongue just doesn't come out very far. I did all those things, topping up with 20ml ff at each feed and then 1 full FF feed per 24 hrs. I did this but would have preferred to just demand feed to get milk flow up. Also had mum and DH saying it's ok to bottle feed, mum in partic putting pressure on saying that by only BF and not knowing how much she was getting that I was starving/dehydrating her which was very upsetting. Mum has left now and I'm doing boob only and topping up with EBM if she seems hungry still.

Gradually my milk has come in but my DD still seems to be feeding very slowly - 20 min on each boob initially and then I usually have to put her on each one again till she falls asleep - feeds can last up to 1 1/2 hours including waking her between boobs. She gets very sleepy on boob, but is defo drinking, then slows dowm and seems to doze off, comes off boob and then starts to cry for more just when I think she is full and ready to sleep!

Those of you with little babies/milk supply problems - how long was it before your baby's sucking got stronger?

Also, I never seem to express more than about 25/30ml per boob - is this normal at this stage? I am so worried that I'm going to be told that my supply is low and that I need to put her on the bottle. I express at least twice a day, just do it when I have the time so not at any fixed times. 15-20 min per boob. I can't seem to express enought to "get ahead" and have enough to top up with only EBM after feeds when needed. Is 40ml enough for a top up?

Also how long before her feeding patterns regulate a bit? last night she was feeding on and off for about 2 hrs and I was almost in tears from tiredness. This afternoon she was awake for nearly 3 hours - is this signs that she is "waking up" after 2 wk sleepiness?

How to keep her awake and stimulated to suck during feeds? She gets sleepy as soon as she goes on boob and and blowing on her face doesn't do anything, tickling feet makes her cry and come off, I'm scared to undress her as I always worry she'll get too cold, given the amount of time she's on the boob.

She's being weighed tmw. I think she's gained a bit as her hands look pudgier to me but I really don't want to be told to put her back on formula.

Does anyone have any thoughts on all this? I'm on my own for the first time today and just feeling overwhelmed with uncertainty and wanting to do what's best for her.

Sorry kookie I phrased what I said badly about head bobbing and rooting. As people have pointed out it can't be generalised to all babies- what I should have said more articulately is that in time you will come to realise what signs mean what for your baby. Those were signs that I found and worked for me. I didn't set any limits until dd2 was about 8wks and as others have said you just need to keep feeding in the early weeks to boost supply. Every feed means supply is boosted.

I do have to say that from my own experience I ended up feeding every 1-1.5hrs for 13wks because dd2 got used to the boob being so available. I wished I had set some boundries a little earlier. perhaps after 2hrs from the beginning of the last feed. [pondering emoticon].

Greenmonkies- the OP has said that her nipples are getting sore, if her dd needs to suck for comfort then a dummy will give her nipples a break and make feeding bearable.If she keeps sucking on sore nipples then she will end up in too much pain to feed.

Kookie I think the best thing you can do as others have suggested is go to a local bf group if you can, or contact your local NCT bf counsellor. Check latch is ok.

I hope you carry on because it does get easier.

MyTether, the OP has probably got sore nipples because her DD has a bad latch caused by dummy use!

"There are some basic mechanical differences between how a baby gets milk from a bottle {or sucks on a dummy} and how a baby gets milk out of the breast. Giving bottles or pacifiers to young, breastfeeding babies often leads to nipple confusion. Baby tries to use the bottle-feeding technique on the breast and has difficulty latching-on and sucking. Baby gets very frustrated, and so does mother. Nipple confusion can even lead to baby refusing the breast. Here's an explanation.

To get milk from the breast, baby must coordinate tongue and jaw movements in a sucking motion that's unique to breastfeeding.

When baby latches onto the breast, he opens his mouth wide and draws the very stretchable nipple and areolar tissue far back into his mouth.
The tongue holds the breast tissue against the roof of baby's mouth while forming a trough beneath the nipple and areola.
The gums compress the milk sinuses underneath the areola (the pigmented area around the nipple) while the tongue rhythmically "milks" the breast with a wave-like motion from front to back, drawing the milk from the areola and the nipple.
Since the nipple is far back in baby's mouth, it's not compressed by the gums, so it's less likely to get sore.

Babies suck from a bottle entirely differently. Thanks to gravity, milk flows from a bottle so easily that baby does not have to suck "correctly" to get milk.

He doesn't have to open his mouth as wide or correctly turn out the lips to form a tight seal.
The bottle nipple does not need to be far back into the mouth, nor is the milking action of the tongue necessary.
Baby can lazily gum the nubbin of the rubber and suck with only his lips.
When the milk comes out too fast, baby may thrust his tongue forward and upward, to stop the flow from the nipple.
Milk keeps on coming during feedings from bottleswhether or not baby sucksso there are no pauses to rest during bottle-feedings.

Problems occur when babies apply the lessons learned from bottle-feeding to nursing at the breast. When you compare the illustration of sucking at an artificial nipple with the illustration of sucking at the breast, you will see that if baby sucks from the breast the same way he does the bottle {or dummy}, the tongue and the gums will traumatize mother's nipple."

Dr Sears is a world renowned breastfeeding expert, I'd take his advice any day.

"what am i supposed to do when she's bfed for one hour"

Have you swapped over during that time? I've had three day nurse-ins where she's fed for 45 mins on and 15 off, the only way I dealt with the pain in that time was to swap over every 30-45 minutes, sleep during the night when she was on and during the day keep myself occupied with the PC, TV etc. But one hour feeds is not a long feed TBH, there's too much mythology around BFing to make it sound more appealing then the real thing is a smack in the gob. If people were honest and said feeds can go on for an hour or more and can be more often than every three then people wouldn't be so surprised by it.

I would also look into why you're in so much pain during feeds.

"At what age does "snacking" become an issue if I'm BF on demand and that seems quite often at the mo? Trying not to get into bad habits but already she is sleeping in our bed every night, and occasionally falling asleep with a dummy (generally so I/we can eat)... "

It's not an issue and there are no bad habits with letting a baby sleep with you. Just let her tell you when she's hungry or thirsty - you know when you are better than anyone else, why wouldn't she?

TikTok and GM have given you some brilliant advice. I was going to say the same as GM that dummies aren't about not being a martyr. Please realise that this is week 2 of a very short phase, it will be over soon and just hanging in there and going with the flow are the best things you can do right now.