Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

was shocked by the amount of bottle-feeders in hospital

737 replies

misdee · 27/02/2005 09:35

found it quite upsetting at times. my bed was by the empties 'bottle bank', so saw how many people on the ward were bottle feeding. in the 4 days i was there, there were 10 women on the ward in total, and only myself and another lady was breastfeeding. The midwives offered help to everyone, but most decided on bottles.

the reason i found it upsetting was because i didnt want dd3 to have formula but that choice was basically taken away from me whilst she was SCBU and was given formula by tube.

OP posts:
Prettybird · 02/03/2005 10:00

That's what makes me sad Mears - that in our part of the world (I know you are also West of Scotland), so few women even consider it. They've not even tried and had problems - they don't even start.

Original poster
misdee · 02/03/2005 10:01

thank you mears.

OP posts:
Caligula · 02/03/2005 10:01

Well said Eulalia.

I read this thread with amazement this morning.

All of us have things in our lives which upset us. That doesn't mean we have the right to stop other people discussing them.

Eulalia · 02/03/2005 10:05

Oh and to say we shouldn't discuss breastfeeding because someone who had to have their breasts removed is just plain daft. Just the same way as saying someone shouldn't discuss what music they like because someone reading may be deaf.

The amount of women who can't breastfeed for medical reasons is actually very small (about 1%) that leaves the choice to do so open to a large amount of women. The original topic was why were women not choosing not to do so?

Tiggiwinkle · 02/03/2005 10:08

Surely there is now no question that breastfeeding is best for babies. If you really want to do the very best for your baby, then you breastfeed-if you can. It is as simple as that.
Bottle-feeding is second best-I dont see how anyone can dispute this given the amount of research into the pros and cons of both.
So bottle feed if you want to, but accept that you are not doing the best you possibly could for your baby, especially if you have not even tried to breast-feed.

Original poster
misdee · 02/03/2005 10:09

cqan i also draw people attention to the thread title 'i was shocked by the AMOUNT of bottle-feeders in hospital.'

nothing about being shocked by bottle feeding in itself.

OP posts:
emkana · 02/03/2005 10:12

tiggiwinkle -
the problem, I find, is, that you and me and many others look at the research and let it influence our decisions, but many others are more influenced by personal experiences and anecdotal evidence - the breastfed baby next door who has allergies, the bottlefed niece who has never been ill - that sort of thing.

expatinscotland · 02/03/2005 10:18

Wow! This has gotten heated! It's such a non-issue for me now. ALL my memories of trying to breast-feed are about excruciating pain, PND, and overwhelming fatigue. I still have horrible nightmares about the days after I gave birth to my lovely dd and how I prayed to die. So there's just no doubt in my mind that with no. 2 I won't even try to bf. Not to mention the fact that Edinburgh Royal Infirmary turfs new mums out a couple of hours after they give birth in uncomplicated circumstances, so there's no support for bf'ing. I can even vaguely remember s/one asking me, as I lay recovering from the forceps delivery and epidural, if I wanted to go home!

For some of us, it's just not even much of a decision.

Tiggiwinkle · 02/03/2005 10:20

Quite right emkana. Also, I think those who bottle-feed justify their decision by saying "it never did him/her any harm." Well maybe not-but they have still not given their baby the very best and that is not speculation, but fact!

expatinscotland · 02/03/2005 10:22

Thanks, Tiggiwinkle. That's so helpful to women suffering from PND to know that, in addition to feeling like crap and perhaps even suicidal, they've not given their baby the very best if they bottle feed. That's such supportive and thoughtful fact for a depressed new mum to hear.

Caligula · 02/03/2005 10:22

Expat, that's what some of us are complaining about. That most women aren't really given much of a choice.

All I want, is that all women have a real choice.

emkana · 02/03/2005 10:23

The thing is if there was a powder or something that you could buy in the shop and that had the same benefits to children that breastmilk has then there would be no question that absolutely everybody would give this substance to their baby. It's just because it's a/ breasts, which have been sexualised more and more in our society and b/ difficult to do
that people stay away from it.

Tiggiwinkle · 02/03/2005 10:26

Expat- I think you have answered the point in your own posting by saying there was no support for breastfeeding. So the choice was not really there for you was it?

emkana · 02/03/2005 10:27

But it's the truth, expatinscotland! But it's just a fact of life that we can't always give the very best.
When my dd1 was young I only ever gave her jars - just didn't feel up to the cooking. I also didn't give her as much attention as I should have - spent far too much time watching daytime TV, letting her play by herself.
It saddens me now to think that I didn't give her the very best there - on the other hand I'm glad that I breastfed her, as that kind of compensates for things I did wrong. And in that way it's a balance for all of us, surely - none of us is perfect in every single thing they do!

lucykatie · 02/03/2005 10:27

at no piont did anyone say that the discussion was not meant to be, because it may offend women who have had a mastectomy, it was all about people who preach to others....either way.
at the end of the day as long as the baby is being fed is what counts ....surely.
i have personally had a bad experience with been preached at for not breast feeding, it was horrible and a do hate people asking me what i am feeding my baby on...its not because i am ashamed of bottle feeding its the fact that i had this horrible experience and some peoples attitudes towards me changed once i told them i was bottle feeding.
i reckon its always going to be a heavy subject as people have strong opinions.
i am sure some breast feeding mums have come across ill feeling just as i have.

snafu · 02/03/2005 10:27

If I've understood you correctly, I'd have to disagree with that, emkana.

emkana · 02/03/2005 10:29

How did you understand me, snafu? I mean if there was a powder you could buy that would lower the risk of infections, contain antibodies and all that - don't you think everybody would want to give it to their child?

expatinscotland · 02/03/2005 10:31

I spent ten days in hosptial, Tiggy, b/c I didn't have an uncomplicated delivery. A week hooked up to IV antibiotics, pain meds, and anti-depressants after being discovered by a junior doctor trying to prise the window open so I could jump out of a 3rd floor window. During that time I tried to bf. On the 3rd sleepless night, after a visit from a psychiatrist for the earlier window incident, I chose to give the baby a bottle - the psychiatrist didn't think it was a bad idea, either. So yeah, you could say I had a choice, and mine was to live. The very best I could do for my daughter was to survive. I really, really didn't need the guilt and shame I got later from mums who judged my decision not to continue trying to feed her. To me, that's just an awful, awful thing to say to ANY mum you see bottlefeeding. You have no idea why they're doing what that are doing. It's not like I wore a tshirt that read, 'Have PND. Sorry I'm robbing my baby of breastmilk due to mental illness. Try to flog me.'

snafu · 02/03/2005 10:31

I read the 'absolutely everybody' bit as that every single woman would give it to their child even if they would be happy and able to breastfeed, which I would disagree with. Apologies if I have misunderstood.

emkana · 02/03/2005 10:34

Noooooooooooo, snafu - if there was such a powder, I'd still choose to breastfeed instead of giving the powder and bottlefeeding - just can't be a*sed with bottlemaking

snafu · 02/03/2005 10:37

That's what I was hoping you meant!

sparklymieow · 02/03/2005 10:37

people have said it down to the bay whether its hard to feed or not. I had Dd1 at 31 weeks (before the sucking reflex comes in) she was solely tube fed for a week before the nurse suggested I try to put her to the breast, knowing she proabably wouldn't be able to suck. But DD1 did it, and shocked all the nurses and doctors, as a baby shouldn't be able to suck till 33 weeks. She had a tiny tiny mouth too. DD2 was born at 33 weeks and I started breastfeeing about a week later.
Now that isn't a judgement on anyone as a large baby can also find it hard to breastfeed just as well as a tiny one. And I think Breastfeeding needs to be more publicised as people still have the view that its "dirty" (see my comment lower down) and people need to be more informed. I don't care how a baby is fed TBH. If you choose to bottlefeed that is your choice noone else.

Tiggiwinkle · 02/03/2005 10:38

Expat- I am very sorry to hear of your experiences, but I really think yours is an exreme case in which bottle-feeding was the right choice for you.
However, I am sorry but it seems to me that the decision is made, in the vast majority of cases, as a result of upbringing, culture and example without a lot of thought as to the alternative. And there are obviously those for whom the choice is not there for medical reasons, but that does not mean that we should not put the case for breast feeding to those who can!

mummytosteven · 02/03/2005 10:39

shouldn't be returning to this but I do have some sympathy with expat's response to tiggiwinkles comments - those of us who have tried and not succeeded with bfing are fully aware of the benefits of breast milk - so it's not really very helpful to be reminded that we haven't done the best for our babies.....

littlemissbossy · 02/03/2005 10:40

fgs, hasn't this thread disppeared yet?

Swipe left for the next trending thread