Would you give your nearly 3yo food at 4.30am if he said he was hungry and breastmilk didn't seem to be cutting it for him?

[mawbroon]

DS and I co sleep from when he wakes at night (random times) usually until the morning. He normally breastfeeds for a couple of minutes and then turns over and drops back off to sleep. This suits us both for now, so no probs there.

However, last night he woke at 12.30am and fed on and off until finally at 4.30am he started wailing that he was hungry.

The logical thing to me at the time seemed to be to give him something to eat, but in my 4.30am foggy brained state, decided that no, he would think it was a big laugh and would then ask for food every morning at 4.30am for ever more. So, he then fed on and off, until I could stand it no more at 5.45am when I sent him downstairs with DH to eat breakfast. He had some ready brek, then the two of them came back to bed for another couple of hours.

What would you do?

Going out soon, so will check back later.

[AbbeyA]

It wasn't necessary to be up night after night for 5 hrs! From the age of 9 months they wanted a quick cuddle. I went in to their room without putting a light on and waking them. Gave them a quick cuddle, a sip of water and they went straight back-they never woke up properly. It worked with all 3, they felt perfectly secure, I was always there, I never let them cry and they soon got used to having undisturbed sleep! The undisturbed sleep was far more important than unnecessary food in the night.
I breast fed all 3, they never had a bottle ever.
If a 3 year old is going to cry for 5 hours they have a real problem!!!They are old enough to have it explained that they can help themselves to water.

[hercules1]

Had to have a giggle at medically proven children dont need bm at the age of 3!

[AbbeyA]

They don't need bm at 4am!

[juuule]

Some of mine responded well to that, Abbey. But some didn't. They just wouldn't give up and I couldn't have them waking everybody else up. People had to go to work or school the next day and it was unfair for them to be kept awake by a screaming baby or toddler.

"If a 3 year old is going to cry for 5 hours they have a real problem!!!"

I think the problem the 3yo had was that he was hungry. He possibly wouldn't have cried for 5hrs if he'd been fed at the start.

[AbbeyA]

Perhaps I was lucky. I didn't think so at the time since not one of them slept through until they were 2yrs. They were just used to the bedtime routine. Always a bath and a story and cuddle in bed and sleep. I am not a night owl, I can't do without sleep so I made sure that I was the most boring mother out in the night! I got up but I wasn't into speaking.
I think a lot of people have weight problems because of what they eat between meals. I would never have thought of giving anything to eat-I suppose if they were really hungry then you would have to but I would make sure it was the most boring thing possible. It then makes it all difficult because teeth would need to be cleaned. I know bm is a natural food but I still don't think it can be good on the teeth (this is a guess-probably someone can prove me wrong)and I wouldn't have wanted to risk it.Water was safe.

[FrannyandZooey]

"I am against snacks anyway, but there is no way I would do them at night. It doesn't matter how hungry I am, I wait until breakfast!"

LOL there you go
moral outrage
it gets your goat doesn't it
SNACKS??! At NIGHT?????!

[hercules1]

COmpletely agree wtih FrannyZoey on this one.

[snarky]

TBH I would probably turf him out of bed, give him a stiff lecture about Africans who haven't even got enough rice to eat during daylight hours never mind Poptarts at 4 in the morning, and then give him a few pages of Ezekiel to copy out.

But that's just us and our life.

[AbbeyA]

I am not quite sure what you mean by that. OP said he was hungry and should she go and get him something to eat. I would call that a snack? Do people get snacks in the night? I have had cups of tea when I have had something to worry about but never a snack.
I have never stayed with anyone who was getting snacks in the middle of the night.
I think if anyone has 3 meals a day they don't need anything else except fruit or the odd treat.It is my easiest way of keeping my weight down.

[FrannyandZooey]

"I have never stayed with anyone who was getting snacks in the middle of the night"

LOL sorry I must leave this thread as is making me PMSL
am imagining all these posts being delivered in a Disgusted from Tunbridge Wells voice
and it is very rude to you Abbey I am sorry

I think rules and taboos about food go very deep
nothing wrong with having rules about eating if they suit your family, but other people have different rules, or don't see the need of them

[AbbeyA]

Seriously FrannyandZooey-do you get out of bed and get snacks? Just interested as I am perpetually watching my weight so at the end of the day I can relax because I wouldn't think of getting anything so I know there is no danger of more calories. I find it easy because I never have.
I think I will leave the thread. I once ventured on this one and made a mild pro breast feeding comment and wished I hadn't from the response it got!
I don't mean to sound disgusted of Tunbridge Wells (I am a northerner btw)I just think the poor mother should get her sleep and tell him she has put water by the bed.

[FrayedKnot]

I can;t sleep if I'm hungry.

When I was BF I kept biscuits by the bed so I could have one when DS woke for a feed, as I was starving afterwards.

Very occasionally, I find myslef lying awake at night and think "why can;t I sleep?" - then I realise I'm hungry. I usually have a biscuit and a drink of water and within seconds I will be back to sleep again.

For me this is totally normal - when I was a teenager I used to eat breakfast, then my packed lunch before 10am each morning, and then go and buy more food for lunch because I was so hungry all teh time. I was very active - did lots of sport and dancing, and was very thin.

Therefore, I can quite identify with a toddler who might just not be able to eat enough at three meals a day to keep up with a growth spurt and so I would definitely provide a small snack (bananas are good for this sort of thing I find) and then hopefully all go back to sleep

[FrannyandZooey]

no no don't leave, I am just being slightly silly

erm no I don't usually get snacks but I someitmes have been kept awake by hunger
I am too lazy to get up and get them
I am aware most people don't find they need to, but what is amusing me is that people are getting bothered about the fact that some people do
why is it so loaded? I mean if I said I sometimes kept my glasses in my knicker drawer over night you would probably think "hmm, unusual", but it wouldn't BOTHER anyone, would it?

[AbbeyA]

I can see that some people might need it FrayedKnot but I would get in a real state about cleaning teeth again.

[pinkspottywellies]

God Franny, you keep your glasses in your knicker drawer?? That really bothers me. Please desist immediately.

[AbbeyA]

I stand corrected then-but am still pleased I am not in the habit-I might get rather large!

[IAteDavinaForDinner]

I agree with franny, it's weird that people have got thir knickers in such a twist over this, which has happened once and is in a context of co-sleeping and BFing which "suits [them] both for now, so no probs there".

I'm in the sling-an-oatcake-in-his-general-direction-and-go-back-to-sleep camp, myself. But then I'm still co-sleeping and BFing a 13 month old all night. And am pretty resigned to having to live like this, oooooh, forever. It's cool.

I suspect many of those who are really outraged and aghast are people whose babies have slept through since they were 3 days old and stuff. Those of us who see a lot of the wrong side of midnight will quite possibly be a whole lot more tolerant of this sort of thing.

[AbbeyA]

Am I the only one obsessive about children and their teeth?

[lilymolly]

Really is there any need to argue about this one F and Z and AbbeyA

OP asked the question
"Would you give your nearly 3yr old food at 4.30am............"

My answer and most other people on this is "no"

Its got naff all to do with morals but how we as parents decide what is unnacceptable and what is- For me and seems to be AbbeyA too is that no its not acceptable and the answer would be "no we would not"

I cant seem to grasp that if OP asks a question and gets the differing answer to which she was seeking- suddenly its morally wrong?

And no I would not have out up with 5 hours of screaming.
If it where me then I would have explained the reasons why he was not getting fed, then put him to bed and let him scream it out.
Sorry if thats harsh but that would be my decision.
Not suggesting thats what OP does, that would be her decision to make.
Simply anwsering the question x

[snarky]

What are the reasons you would explain to him lilymolly?

Also you say you wouldn't put up with 5 hours screaming, but you then say you would let him scream it out. [consfused]

[lilymolly]

oh you have made up now

[AbbeyA]

Having stirred things up - I must go and eat. I will leave you all to it. Hopefully OP will say what she thinks at some point.

[FrannyandZooey]

"Really is there any need to argue about this one F and Z and AbbeyA"

well it passed the time

pink no I don't
that would be weird
and WRONG

[snarky]

Eat?!?!?!

But dinner is at 5.30

[juuule]

"then put him to bed and let him scream it out."
So, quite possibly, you would have had 5hrs screaming then.