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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Friend was told she was embarrassing

89 replies

mummytummy · 15/02/2005 21:41

I met up with a friend today who was very upset because she went to the public swimming baths with her DH and 2 DDs, and was b/feeding her baby (12 weeks)(she had a tankini on and a big fleece jacket wrapped round her for privacy) and the manager stormed up to her and told her to stop feeding and go in the changing rooms because she was embarrassing all the other people in the pool. Her DH had noticed that there was a foreign man who kept staring and reckoned he probably complained. She was very upset that the manager made her feel dirty for b/feeding. She later rang the pool to speak to the manager about it, and again he said that she was in the wrong for feeding so publicly.

OP posts:

misdee · 15/02/2005 22:10

the nipples thing is a good point, al lthe men should've covered up as well.

since when was feeding a baby wrong?

sweetkitty · 15/02/2005 22:14

especially men with man boobs they flaunt them in public

surely its the same thing a nipple surrounded by some fat except in your friends case she was feeding her baby as nature intended

toomanypushchairs · 15/02/2005 22:26

I could get to Thamesmead too! I have to say it's probably people like my awful sil that get people who bf a bad name. She was never discreet (not that you should have to be) but she did used to make me cringe. she'd get her boob out and then go and find the baby,boob hanging out for all to see!

tiktok · 15/02/2005 22:33

She needs to tell her local paper, and also tell her local councillors - there may well be a woman's officer among the council officers as well, or a children's officer.

Good luck to her. She mustn't let it lie!

SofiaAmes · 15/02/2005 22:42

In a swimming pool where everyone is half naked anyway. I've never heard of anything so ridiculous! She should certainly take it further, especially if it's a council pool. If she doesn't complain, then someone else who isn't as confident as she is, might get put off bfing because of that man.

misdee · 15/02/2005 22:43

i find man boobs repulsive.

handlemecarefully · 16/02/2005 09:28

It's really depressing to hear that this sort of senseless reaction still happens

aloha · 16/02/2005 09:38

OUTRAGEOUS!! This man is a council employee and MUST be held to account. This is disgusting and I am genuinely shocked. I would happily call the council about it myself - what pool was it? What day? What time? Also the NCT and, if she can face it, maybe the local paper too. I think this mustn't be allowed to lie and this man will think he can do this to other women who may be more fragile than your friend. This is TERRIBLE. He deserves to lose his job, the bastard.

piffle · 16/02/2005 09:46

Go to the local papers and complain to the pool managers manager/the council/ whatever -notify the NCT head office as well, they go big time for people like this!!!!
If the man was uncomfortable why did he not MOVE!!! Arseholes the lot of themin fact which pool is it I'll effing ring them!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Amanda3266 · 16/02/2005 09:49

Great - breasts are okay if they're on Page 3 and called "tits" but not when they are being used for the purpose they were designed. Appalling. Go to the local paper - it's not as though you were not being discreet.
And - if it was the local public baths I think he'll find he was very much in the wrong. What were you supposed to do?

aloha · 16/02/2005 09:52

PLEASE don't let her let this lie - I'm breastfeeding myself now and this sort of thing makes me see red. I will happily make some calls myself. If this is allowed to stand it will become unofficial policy of the pool and other people will suffer - some of whom may be seriously upset by it.

Twiglett · 16/02/2005 09:52

Am and alongside everyone else

Please let us know what your friend is going to do about it

jangly · 16/02/2005 09:54

I like Caligula's suggestion. Can you put up the council's email address? Bombarding them with emails would be good!

Amanda3266 · 16/02/2005 09:55

Count me in - I'll e-mail the ignorant buggers.

tarantula · 16/02/2005 09:56

and me. Absolutely gobsmaking The manager needs his head examined

emkana · 16/02/2005 09:56

I think people in Europe could learn a lot from this

aloha · 16/02/2005 10:19

YES!! Please, please can we email the council? I would be really proud and privileged to join in a mass Mumsnet email.

Prufrock · 16/02/2005 10:24

emkana - that is an awful thing to have happened, but what a wonderful photo. I love the fact that the mother and everyone around are so matter of fact about her bf.

I would alsobe very happy to join in a mass e-mailing. This sort of thing makes me so angry

LipstickMum · 16/02/2005 10:31

This is so annoying I breastfed dd anytime anywhere I wanted to and was never asked not to or received any complaints. But, I was ready to let rip if anyone did!!

Does anybody know where we do stand with bf-ing in public, legally I mean. I would like to think it's acceptable anywhere rather than being dispatched off to some horrible 'greastfeeding room'. But what can we do if the manager of a restaurant, cafe, public place etc. asks us to stop bf-ing or leave because they have had a complaint?? Is it at their discretion or do we have the right to stand our ground and carry on, let the 'offended' person leave, go fck themselves etc

Anyone actually know?

LipstickMum · 16/02/2005 10:32

make that 'breastfeeding room'

mummydreamer · 16/02/2005 10:32

Having been both congratulated for feeding DD No.1 in public (by a man) and "told off" by two little old ladies, I generally had a positive experience of BF. However creeps like the pool manager (who probably has major issues with women as sexual objects ) would never stop me from doing what nature intended and giving my child the best start in life!

Would be delighted to plague the council with positive emails on attitudes to BF or go along to a mass BF in April when baby No.2 arrives!!!

Blu · 16/02/2005 10:38

Mummytummy - can you give details of the pool time etc? there are some excellent and committed offers of effective protest / support here - including from journalists. Is your freind making her own complaint, or would she like the Wrath Of MN to go into action?

Twiglett · 16/02/2005 10:50

Although it would be interesting to be a fly on a wall listening to mummytummy explain to her good friend how a bunch of total strangers she met on the internet would like to wade in and sort out the pool manager ...

Pinotmum · 16/02/2005 10:54

When I was on holiday in Ibiza I sat round the pool evertday bf ds who was about 7 months then. Nobody cared and lots of people said I was great to bf him so long. These were mainly british people but the locals didn't care either and no-one asked me to stop or walked away when the boob appeared . I think she should haved drowned the pool bloke and put a stop to his crap immediately .

Cam · 16/02/2005 11:00

I'm that the man even approached her while she was actually b/feeding. How dare he interfere with how your friend is feeding her child. Hope she didn't go into the changing room.

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