I was really sad to see this

[stroppyknickers]

Today we went to a paediatric appointment (so lots of families in waiting room) and the woman next to me was wearing a weird black shroud type thing. Then, she plucked a baby from under it - it was to cover up the fact she was breastfeeding.

I can see the OP's point: I would never criticise a woman for using one of those cape thingies, but would be a bit sad if she felt she had to cover up (and there are easier ways of doing it). Feel the same about women bfing in smelly cramped feeding rooms. I felt like saying to the woman at the Tate 'look there's a lovely comfy sofa out there, no need to feed on a hard chair'. But it was her choice.

It depends on who you are being discreet for, yourself or everyone else

I covered up for me, no one else, I don't flash my arse, boobs or belly to anyone, never have never will. I love every inch of my body, I have no body issues but it is for me and a partner and the children to see

i never fed dd in public because she was a very refluxy colicy baby who popped on and off the boob spraying milk everywhere and generally turned the whole thing into a production that i was unwilling for the general public to witness.

blankets didn't work as she wriggled so much they got dragged down. ridiculous as they look maybe if i had bought one of those tent things i might actualy have been able to feed her somewhere bedsides restaurant toilets when out and about with my friends.

and for the record i fed ds everywhere and anywhere, including running around soft play after dd and never had any shame as he was able to pop on for a feed, drink his milk and unlatch himslef when full perfectly happily. with dd it was full scale warfare which included puking all over my boobs so i'd have to sit there wiping my breasts clean... there's just no way to do that discretely in public!

I didn't imply that discretion is a goal. It's not a goal for everyone, certainly. But equally I don't believe that baring your breasts, even in the name of breastfeeding, should be a goal either; it's not for everyone, many people simply do not like it or feel the need to do it to make a point or a statement. And that is the whole point of my postings.

Discretion was a goal for me; not because I was worried about what other people would think about seeing my body but because of what I felt about displaying it.

I'm by no means a prude, but I choose not to display my body in the shopping centre normally, and didn't see why I should do it whilst I was feeding (and if you could see my body, maybe you would have some understanding of why that is). If I hadn't been able to be discreet, I wouldn't have felt able to breastfeed in public. My choice, forced upon me by my own feelings, not by society's attitudes.

It was better for me to cover myself up and feed my daughter than to make myself anxious trying not to flash my 48KKs to all and sundry. And yes, maybe in an ideal world no-one would feel that way, but the fact remains that some of us do, and don't feel the need to make some kind of "point" to society in general. I fed my baby because she needed nutrition and that was the way I chose to give it to her, not because I had any kind of political point to make. My alternatives were to have given formula, which I was not happy to do, or never to take my daughter out for longer than an hour at a time, which I equally was not happy to do. Covering up enabled me to be relaxed enough to breastfeed happily in public, rather than not do it at all. Isn't that a good thing?

I'm remembering one time when I was out shopping in the mall. DS2 needed to be fed. I didn't want to have to buy a drink so i could sit in a cafe to feed him so found some stairs at the entrance to the mall where i could feed him.
I took out my trusty silk sarong and draped it over him. It kept the sun off and kept prying eyes off too. and yes, there are plenty of blokes out there who would get a kick out of seeing my breasts in public (they are very nice) but i'm not going to give them the opportunity because i am not a free peep show.

It never occurred to me that what i was doing would make anybody feel sad.

Oh, and the time i sprayed milk while sitting in a cafe because DS1 was crap at latching on and came off just as i got a let-down...i wish i'd had my sarong.

I take it you mean your boobs are nice and not the men?

My boobs are fabulous

Breast Burkhas - Cool!!

OK - hadn't considered the huge baps side of things, as I am not blessed that way . Unfortunately, my doorbell went (Blimmin RL again) and a frined arrived so I couldn't finish my post. Totally been summed up for me by those who 'got' my point. Thanks for the rational opposing views

Wigwam, please understand that I applaud you for your decisions, and respect them too. I do understand, and the truth is, I'm a "discreet" feeder myself, hardly an inch of flesh on display, tho no coverup.

I don't judge you.
And I'm generally not trying to 'make a point' when I feed my baby either.

I'm just bugged that we feel this way. That showing breasts is somehow unseemly or awkward.

I want to live in a society where everyone feels that boobs are in the category of "no big deal to show". I've seen how the other half live and it would be great here, too.

Blessed ... not sure I would consider it a blessing, Stroppy

I would also love to live in a society where breasts are no big deal, vlc, but I think I would still prefer not to have them flapping around in the breeze, even if we did live in such a society! What I think would be nice would be to live in a society where personal choice about how we feed our babies is no big deal either, and I would include chosing to cover up or not in that, too, as well as the choice between breast or formula feeding. It's all about making people feel comfortable about feeding for me, however they choose to do it and whatever suits them best.

I know what you mean, vlc. I remember watching a documentary about a nomadic south American tribe and one thing I thought was lovely was that there was one mother walking along, toddler on hip and the toddler was holding her breast like a sandwich and sucking away happily , no-one else was taking any notice at all. But the difference was that the women of that tribe were always stripped to the waist; in our society, because we do habitually cover up our breasts, a lot of us feel odd baring them to feed. I really think those Hooter Hiders are unecessary, though and none of my babies were ever happy to have their heads covered.

I am truly baffled by this. However much you'd like to refute the fact - breasts ARE a sexual part of the body to a large proportion of the population. Whether one is confident about your own body or not, it doesn't mean you should have to display yourself to all and sundry when feeding your baby.

I choose to keep my breasts for myself, my partner and my son - noone else needs (or would want!) to see them.

If you're happy to display them in public, more power to you. But would you be bothered if the chap across the room spent the entire feed staring at your breasts? Or the teenage boy with a smile on his face as he watches you? If you're happy to get them out then you have to be happy to have people look.

Staring is rude.

"If you're happy to get them out then you have to be happy to have people look."

I disagree. I try to ignore other people's rudeness but I don't have to be happy about it.

I'm happy for my little niece, or my friends young son to ask if they can watch, as they've never seen anyone bf before. Innocent interest - bring it on.

I don't have to be happy if some lairy bloke is gawping, or some elderly lady tutting. But I'm trying to avoid letting their ingrained ideas about breasts beng sexual stop me from feeding my dd when she needs it.

Actually for me its nothing to do with boobs at all! Its the rolls of unsightly flesh beneath them

...and i still don't feel the need to feel sad for the bf-ing mum as we have no idea why she wanted to cover up ...she may have just been cold

My Californian SIL calls these hooter-hiders, and they are apparently de rigeur in the USA.

She was outraged at me BFing my 7 month old ds in public last week (Isle of Wight Ferry and a posh spa).

if individual women want to fine, but i can see the pov that is annoyed that there is an expectation they should, usually played up to by the marketers. I can imagine the hooter hiders are "to enable you to feed your baby anywhere". Promote the pov that bf is something slightly dirty, necessary but ideally done in a way that no-one knows you're doing it (apart from the child )

from their site

"nursing moms are out and about enjoying life with baby without any restrictions. "

so what restrictions are there if you don't have a modesty protector?

I think those bib things are a horrible invention and yes I would consider you a bit sad if you were buy and use one in public.

Bit like Crocs really .......