Do you wish you'd had more support with breastfeeding?

[Amanda3266]

Just a query following on from another thread about growth charts. Current breastfeeding figures are truely appalling?
Did you start to breastfeed and stop earlier than intended? Were you happy with your decision or would you have continued with more support? Who would you like that support to have come from?

Me? I breastfed for just 4 days before giving up. By that time I was crying every time I put DS to the breast. Both nipples red raw and bleeding. It's sad to say that among my "happiest" (if you can call it that) moments in the early days was when I made the decision to bottlefeed. I was so relieved.
Three weeks later I was tearful and depressed and felt that I'd let my DS down by not breastfeeding. I was also really shamefaced about it when seeing my old midwifery colleagues because as a midwife and health visitor I stupidly felt that I "should be able" to breastfeed.
I just wish someone had offered more help. I hired a pump and expressed for several weeks, however, despite knowing this my own HV hardly came near nor by. Just said "Oh you're a health visitor - you can manage" when the sad reality was that I wasn't managing at all.
I think it's a difficult situation as I was living far away from my family. I really could have done with my HV or midwife or a breastfeeding supporter dropping by. Too stressed to think clearly myself it would have helped if someone else had suggested it.

So - that's my beans spilled . How was it for you?

Mandy

BTW, my DS is now a happy, healthy 2 year old and I look back upon those days and laugh (mostly).

ouck=luck

things are OK, thankyou, moondog. it's not a walk in the park, but it's getting a bit easier every day. i don't think i'll ever find it easy though.
i wanted to add that i think the situation has changed very much for the better just in the last 3 yrs since having DD. then the night staff on maternity ward were pushing bottles, throwing in scare stories about 'no paediatrician is going to discharge your baby until it's regained its birth weight' -- this 12 hours after delivery, in the middle of the night. i never got told about BFC when struggling with breastfeeding, and just muddled through in a miserable way for 4 mths, before starting to mix-feed.
when i had my son a fortnight ago the assumption on delivery and the ward afterwards was 100 pc pro breast-feeding. much more supportive/understanding.
I said earlier that this time around MV didn't mention BFC; that wasn't entirely true. she just didn't push the issue (i wish she had done, i was so befuddled from pain and lack of sleep, i couldn't think how to ask for help really). there was a leaflet i was sent home with, but of couse i hadn't had time to look through it. it took a push from another (very local) MN to make me chase this up.
when i got to it, i thought the new, free drop-in service offered by my local BFC was fantastic. however, i was the only person who turned up for the session we attended: i do hope it survives.

What do you mean by 'against' breastfeeding,Mosschops?

I can remember posting a desperate message on mumsnet when ds was 2 weeks old - i couldn't bear br.feeding, nipple pain, thrush, cracked nipples etc. No one seemsed able to help & ALL the books said "if you are doing it properly, breast feeding shouldn't hurt" ahhhh!
...then i got so much support from mumsnet & from a bfc who taught me how to do an 'exagerated latch-on' and at 6 weeks, when i couldn't stand it anymore...this bfc was just there & by 8 weeks we had it licked! (wink) Anyway...ds is now 13 months & I have JUST stopped br feeding!!! It is breaking my heart...I really miss it. I had 5 days in hospital with food poisoning last week, so he got a pretty abrubt weaning session! he is fine now & it was probably a blessing in disguise, as I was wondering how to stop.....

I had fantastic support at my maternity hospital. They were fully committed to breast feeding (a UNICEF baby friendly hospital that actaully meant it). They put a lot or resource in to it - to counter the fact that Glasgow has such dreadful breast feeding rates.

There were ante natal breast feeding workshops you could go along to, which were run by the two full time breast feeding counsellors/midwives emplyed by the hosptial to which they also got a couple of breast feeding mums to come along, to "tell it out it really is".

Ds was a reluctant feeder, and wouldn't latch on, so every time he needed feeding, I would ring for help. Sometimes it would take a while to arrive (especially at night) - but I realsied that that was usually becasue they were dealing with another wee sod (sorry, little darling) who refused to lrefused to latch on. In the five days I spent in hospital (ds needed light therapy), only one midwife was a bit abrupt - and even then, she still (reluctantly) gave me the support I required.

The breast feeding counsellors also ran a weekly support group, to which they also got other professionals along as required/requested - eg the paediatricians/dietician. You could get your baby weighed there - so I was able to avoid regular contact with HVs - just in case I came across misguided ones who would try to "support" me by suggesting supplementing with formula.

When ds wasn't gaining weight, they had him checked by the paeditrician on call and loaned me an electric expressing machine and gave me advice on waking him up to feed him at night etc. I was never under pressure to give him formula. When he still didn't gain weight (having been born near the 91st centile, he took 7 weeks to regain birth weight and then gained weight SOOOOO slowly that he dropped out the growth charts), they referred me to the consultant paediatrician - just as a precaution, as they agreed that he wasn't "failing to thrive". The consultant took one look at this manifestly happy, healthy and alert baby, told me to stop worrying about the growth charts and to stop being bothered about the faff of expressing (although I did continue, as it was useful skills as I was going back to work when ds was 4 months old), and asked what my dad (a former colleague of his) was up to.

I repaid the favour by being one of the "breast feeding mums" at later workshops - and just as I had been inspired by the mum who had struggled with a breast refuser (she ended up feeding through nipple shields - which worked for her ds - for 6 months), I apparently inspired others.

The breast feeding counsellors/midwives said that ds was a classic case of a NON failure to thrive baby who didn't follow the growth charts. In other words, they are NOT tablets of stone and you should look at the whole baby.

I ended up feeding ds for 13 months.

Ds is now a happy, healthy 4.5 year old, on the 75th centile for height and just under the 50th for weight.

Amanda3266, somewhere in the middle of this thread you say you have doubts about breastfeeding your next baby. (I have skip-read a lot of this so sorry if I get anything wrong). I just wanted to post to say I had a nightmare with my first baby and gave up after two weeks, and I dreaded the prospect of feeding my second (although I was determined to have another go). Well, the good news is that it worked out the second time - and the third - so please don't be too disheartened. Just find good support, a bfc or lactation consultant, and hopefully all will be well.

In response to your original post, my answers are as follows: yes, not sure, my community midwife. I had a summer baby and after we got home we had three different midwives visit, and a HV, all of whom gave conflicting advice. Also, they are over-stretched and weren't able to stay as long as I would have liked them too. But I was an emotional wreck, didn't realise how bad the problems were or how they were going to affect me, and didn't ask. Long story... But basically, "persevere" is not terribly helpful advice, and it was "persevere" until he wasn't putting on weight (at about 10 days), and then it was give top-up feeds from a bottle. By the time I got to someone who knew what she was talking about, I was just in tears and felt I couldn't bear to continue.

There is another thread going by someone who is interested in putting together a book (maybe) on women's breastfeeding stories. I think we all have such interesting tales to tell... many of us because we've had a bad experience, and then maybe a good one. Anyway, I'm rambling now... sorry!

Moondog, which issue of the ABM mag is your story in, please? I would really like to read it. (I am a member).

Support, what support. My baby was kept under a heat lamp the night she was born and I was awoken by a nurse telling me she was hungry(cant believe I fell asleep). i was taken to the room and dumped I had a go but quickly realised I didnt have a clue what I was doing and went to get the nurse. My ample bosom was quickly picked up and squashed in dds mouth and the nurse buggered off. That was the one and only time any assistance was given and I dont think more than four words. Luckily for me dd was a natural and she sorted herself out. If this had not happened, Im not assure what support was available. It could have been a completely different story.

YES! I wish I had had more support. I pretty much gave up after 2 or 3 weeks althouh he bf off and on until about 3 months (more off than on) I spent the next year expressing every 4 hours because I really did want him to have the benefits of bm. It's one of the things that I am still sad about.

Message withdrawn

YES! I have failed miserably at trying to BF two children now. Useless specialist breastfeeding support midwife came to see me when DS was born 5 months ago and I couldn't get him to latch on. This was a Friday morning, and her advice to me consisted of telling me that the support group meets every Wednesday. "So how can I get him to latch on....?" I asked her disappearing back. DD also refused to latch on at all, ever, and although I tried to pump and give her EBM, my supply went within a week. With DS I couldn't even face pumping, so he went onto formula at 48 hours old.

I don't know ANYONE locally who BF successfully, and you couldn't get near the sterilisers in my postnatal ward as hardly anyone even tried. I haven't read much that is actually useful about how to get a reluctant newborn to latch on if they won't, so no idea what I could even have done about it. Breastfeeding support where I am is diabolical though, and no-one in the hospital gave a monkey's about how you fed the baby as long as it didn't involve them coming to help. :0(

I know, prunegirl - people thought I was crazy!!! But it seemed to somehow compensate for not being successful at bfing. Still, it's very nice to be past all that.

I have to bump this thread because is soooo similar to what happened to me! No much help at hospital when I told them I was in agony, they said "does it feel like razor blades in your nipples?" I kid you not, I said "not sure", "thats not pain then".

Then at home I was embarrassed to breast feed in front of my DO, I know, stupid me, so spent hours in baby's room crying looking at the wall while she fed.

The thing is, my milk didn't come up until de 7th day, I stopped BF on the 6th, and NO_ONE told me wait until your milk comes, then she might feed quicker. Or feed her watching TV or something so you take your mind a bit away of the pain. I told this to my friend because she started like me and now she is on her 3rd week of very happy breastfeeding. Should I become a HV???

In answer to the op yes possibly
I only managed to breastfeed dd1 for 2 weeks and i can describe it as an awful experience.I stayed at the birth unit for 4 days trying to establish feeding.Despite the midwives latching her on i was in agony.It was toe curling pain and i was bleeding so i resorted to nipple shields and was given conflicting advice over the use of them.I was very depressed(given ad's) and the pain of feeding was only making things worse.So i gave up after 2 weeks and tbh i felt it was the best thing i could have done under the circumstances.
I didnt ever consider bf dd2 as tbh it has left me feeling repulsed at the thought of bf ever.