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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

'Will you still be bf her when she is 5 '? Why is this ok when she is only 6 mths old ?

114 replies

lilyloo · 09/07/2008 11:36

My dd is now 6 mths old and it seems others think i have done my bf now.

However i would like to carry on as dd is my last dc, i enjoy it and so does she.

She is piling on the weight , not sleeping but hey ho ! I feel like we have done the hard bit and can now enjoy it but it seems to some like there is something 'wrong' with me to carry on.

What do i say to these comments ? I stopped with ds at 6.5 mths partly through feeling i should so don't want to be made into doing it again!

OP posts:
fettle · 14/07/2008 14:26

I'm very shocked upset by this thread - it annoys me so much that people feel they have the right to comment on how you are feeding your child. It is your choice and no-one else's business. However, I've been very lucky, as I bf both mine beyond 6 months and in public and never once received a negative comment or look - always wanted one, so I could try some curt response.

Having said this of course, I'm flying with both DC on my own next week and will need to feed 10 month DS during the flight and will no doubt get some comments from the stranger next door!!! (perhaps I'll bring a bottle instead!!). Although seriously the new security measures are a good reason to BF if you are flying beyond 6 months - it seems to be such a palavar taking bottles of milk through and maintaining their sterility - noone has yet asked me to sample my breastmilk at security!

Brangelina · 14/07/2008 14:33

Fettle, I fed DD on planes until she was over 2 and never had any comments, so I'm sure you'll be alright with a 10mo. I would have continued only she was having none of it during the last flight, was too interested in the magazine. At least she doesn't suffer from sore ears like me.

wolfear · 14/07/2008 19:14

I breastfed DS til 10 months, but was aiming for 12. Teeth got in the way and he was over it to tell the truth - just messing around. It's hard to accept that people even have an issue with breastfeeding. I'm from Australia and have been here for four years and was completely shocked when I found out proprietors of restaurants, cafes etc are within their rights to ask you to not breastfeed or even leave their establishment. I know a law has just been passed (or about to be passed) to stamp out such nonsense, but for it to even exist in the first place and turn a beautiful thing into something perverse is a real shame. It's not at all an issue in Australia and the majority of people don't bat an eyelid when mums breastfeed their babies in public. I must admit, I felt so self-conscious here as I'd picked up on the narrow-minded attitudes of some and ended up in parents rooms at John Lewis and M&S most of the time. I will definitely breastfeed the next one and hold my head up high while doing so.

chloemegjess · 14/07/2008 20:10

I feel the same and I just ignore it all. Its not worth arguing over and to be honest, I cant be bothered with it. My DD is the same age and MIL and SIL say everytime I see them "are you still breastfeeding" and keep getting comments "why dont you give her bottles to give you a break" (how giving bottles is a break I do not know). They have done this since DD was about 2 months old

only1malteaser · 14/07/2008 20:45

I read in the paper today that a baby breastfed until two makes a branier child! Tell them that then walk away

only1malteaser · 14/07/2008 20:45

I read in the paper today that a baby breastfed until two makes a branier child! Tell them that then walk away

only1malteaser · 14/07/2008 20:45

Oops sorry!

beris · 14/07/2008 22:10

just chill i breastfed till 17mths dont let anyone pressure you

Poohbah · 14/07/2008 22:16

It's normal to feed a baby until they are 2-3 years old.

Tell the teacher that Juliet (Romeo and Juliet)fed until she was three.

Tell you MIL that your dd is statisically likely to be brainier and less ill and that the World Health Organisation with all the worlds scientists and hundreds of reasearch paper say at least 2.

Tell the mum is the playground that you can't give her formula as your ds was allergic to the syntheisized proteins in formula and you can't take the risk with your ds.

chelseamorning · 14/07/2008 22:56

I fed my DS until he was 17 months, like Beris.

It was a fantastic experience and I loved the closeness - and the fact that I was giving him such a good start in life. (If he even as much as looks at a McD when he's older, I'll...!! )

Actually, the worst negative comments were from my own mother. She said she'd tried to breast feed us as babies but she'd 'ran out of milk' very early on. (Wish I had a pound for every time I've heard that one.) She used to often show disbelief that I was still 'tying' myself to DS. Well, derr, he is my son! What mother wouldn't want to do the best for her own child?

The comments above say it all, Lilyloo. Do what you feel is right for you and your DD.

TinkerBellesMum · 15/07/2008 10:07

chelseamorning your mother probably had you in the nursery when you were born and wasn't allowed to disturb you. She was probably told when you went home to feed you every four hours and you were being naughty if you asked for more than that. Her HCP's were probably very quick to get you onto a bottle when her milk seemed to run out very quickly.

I do understand it in older mothers, they had some terrible advice, I feel very sad for modern mothers that aren't encouraged and supported right. Better training for HCP's in what we already know is right is needed.

chelseamorning · 15/07/2008 14:12

You're right, Tink, but I guess I had hoped for more from my own mother. Especially since she's so forward thinking in other areas.

Hope the tandem feeding goes well. What a lovely, lucky position for you to be in. Enjoy!

xx

TinkerBellesMum · 15/07/2008 14:19

I know what you mean. Mum was my AP inspiration, or so I thought! She breastfed my little sister for most of a year, weaned her quite late, she used a baby carrier and cloth nappies. She has been so difficult with things I wanted to do, but when I look at why she did things...

My sister wouldn't take a bottle or food (she's very allergicky) she used cloth nappies because it was still cheaper than disposables - not sure about the carrier. She wasn't AP, she did what her baby allowed her to do.

I'm quite excited about the tandem feeding, that is if Tink lives long enough! She refuses to do "big mouth", she shakes her head and laughs if I tell her to be gentle and she pushes my hand out the way if I try to help her latch (or stop her going on till she has a big mouth).

ally90 · 15/07/2008 14:23

I always replied with a big 'oh when she's about 18 I'll have to cut down when she goes to uni...but will probably still travel there to give her her morning feed '.

Ask a silly question..............

Then I would drop into serious mode and said I was following WHO guidelines and while we both enjoyed it I would continue til at least 2 years then see how we felt then. It gave them food for thought...who are they to argue with the world health organisation...(tho your mil may try to do that )

People will always be judgemental no matter what you do...if you don't bf they will judge, if you do...well you don't want to be like 'bitty' in little britain do you? etc etc etc...

Or you could just say 'that's an interesting question...why do you need to know?'

Califrau · 15/07/2008 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jafina · 15/07/2008 19:13

chelseamorning - do we have the same mother?? My mum is very proud that she bf my brother for 6 weeks until "her milk ran out". She "couldn't" bf me or my sister but will then go on and on about how colicky I was and how I threw up the "baby milk" all the time. Sounds like reflux to me, and is one of the reasons I will bf my dd for well over a year.

My mum is also aghast at how "tied" I am to dd, her quote was "how awful to be so tied to a baby!". DD is 9 months old, and she STILL lives at home .

I think people who ask negatively about bf past 6 months have their own issues that they haven't dealt with yet.

On the other side of the coin, I feel a bit weird when people congratulate or praise me for bf dd still. I do it for the obvious health reasons but it has also been very easy for me and would be a lot harder in many ways to move to formula. So I feel like they are congratulating me for being lazy! Oh well, I will take what I can get!!

MissM · 15/07/2008 20:58

Six months??? Oh dear - DS is 8 months and shows no signs of stopping bfing. DD bfed until she was 1. I'm a little bemused - I thought other people had issues when people bf toddlers, not babies???

Thomcat · 15/07/2008 21:02

I know how you feel. I get lots of 'oh my goodness are you still feeding her??!!". "You must have finished BF by now" etc comments, lots. She's only 10 months old. Why is it so shocking to people?? I just alwasy reply with 'yes she's only 10 months old' type answers.

Original poster
lilyloo · 15/07/2008 21:19

just caught up thank you to all off you who have posted
It's good to know i am not odd then
I am going to carry on until dd wants to stop and i am now going to tell anybody who comments that!
LOL my neighbour even said tonight how well she looked (chubby is the word with a grand pair of thighs) and asked what milk she is on now i just said 'mine' and she looked shocked but didn't say anything!

OP posts:
Original poster
lilyloo · 15/07/2008 21:19

'of'

OP posts:
ally90 · 15/07/2008 21:42

lol at neighbours shock!!

My sil has issues with bfing which I think she tells her dd who then quizzed me on when I was stopping and was I 'still bfing'... sil also did the fastest reverse you have ever seen whenever she realised I was actually bfing dd...mil on other hand used to whip off whatever I was using to cover myself up with when I was bfing with a 'may I?' good she's enthusiastic...but hell woman, give me some respect and privacy! Sil also made the most amazing comment about bottle feeding because she was lazy reason I bf was because I could not be arsed to make up bottles, steralise...work out how to use formula etc...was very puzzelled about that comment...

Anyway, just remember it is NONE of their business what you are doing. Perhaps next time you see any of these people tucking into a cake say 'oh your not going to eat that are you?' with a face

zazas · 16/07/2008 10:41

It is great to read these messages of support for extended bf - my DD is still going strongly at 14mths and it works well for both of us. It has been such a natural part of my life (and with 2 older DC) I never worry about mentioning it to others if it comes up - however I have had to develop thick skin to deal with their comments, including from my Mother. At the end of the day no one who is 'shocked' at me still bf has any reasons for why I should not be doing it (as I usually ask them why it bothers them.) It mostly seems that people are hung up with the idea of an older baby still sucking at your breast - like it is distasteful not natural. People are strange indeed.

crokky · 16/07/2008 10:47

Ask them if they will still be having sex at 75. It is an equally idiotic thing to say.

Oblomov · 16/07/2008 11:09

Does anyone actually know what the % of the the poulation bf, at all ?
What % bf post 6 months ?
What % bf post 1 year ?

It is a very small % of women who bf toddlers, isn't it.
Infact, I think we would all be saddened if we saw the stats for bf at all, post 6 months, post 1 year.
I am sure it is small, and I am sure it decreases rapidly as well.
All a shame.

Oblomov · 16/07/2008 11:15

link
Answered myself
"The Infant Feeding Survey, published in May last year, showed that most women are failing to follow government advice, with fewer than one in 100 women breastfeeding exclusively for the first six months.

While 76% of UK mothers started out breastfeeding - a rise of 7% since 2000 - most resort to formula milk within weeks.

Fewer than half of mothers are still breastfeeding by the time their child is six weeks old, and only a quarter do so at six months. "
Very sad stats, aren't they ?