Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

'Will you still be bf her when she is 5 '? Why is this ok when she is only 6 mths old ?

114 replies

lilyloo · 09/07/2008 11:36

My dd is now 6 mths old and it seems others think i have done my bf now.

However i would like to carry on as dd is my last dc, i enjoy it and so does she.

She is piling on the weight , not sleeping but hey ho ! I feel like we have done the hard bit and can now enjoy it but it seems to some like there is something 'wrong' with me to carry on.

What do i say to these comments ? I stopped with ds at 6.5 mths partly through feeling i should so don't want to be made into doing it again!

OP posts:
mankyscotslass · 09/07/2008 12:53

Thanks Baffy, I got it from a BF forum I was using! MIL looked like she was sucking a lemon, never asked again

Original poster
lilyloo · 09/07/2008 13:01

I guess now she is starting on solids i will be feeding her less so PinkTulip i suppose it's less of an issue anyway.
Like you i'm not really looking to argue my point and don't particularly want to but would like a quick witty point to shut them up

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 09/07/2008 14:17

By NormaStanleyFletcher on Wed 09-Jul-08 12:29:56
Don't give me credit for that answer btw - I stole it from someone else on MN

who would that be Norma

ChairmumMiaow · 09/07/2008 14:42

I have a little badge from lactivist.co.uk that says "still breastfeeding, still none of your business".

DS is only 6 months (almost) but if we start getting comments, I'll start wearing it.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 09/07/2008 15:05

I think it might have been some instument lugging MNer or other Harpsi

Original poster
lilyloo · 09/07/2008 16:24

I need one of them chairmum

OP posts:
weasle · 09/07/2008 16:53

lilyloo, i had this discussion with my dh last week. he thinks i have 'ticked the box' on bf (ds2 6.5 months) and need to move on. Mother in law thinks it ridiculous that i am STILL bf. And my mother. apparently, baby will magically sleep all night once i give in to reason and stop. I am harming all the family by persisting as it is making me tired.

Well, i am tired of having to justify myself all the time! i think next time this is discussed i will tell whoever that i have read extensively on the subject and decided that the best thing for us is to continue. don't they trust me to have weighed up the evidence and make the right choice? what evidence do they know that stopping bf would be best (other than eg my niece sleeping 12 hours at night from 5 weeks old on formula!)

I feel i am on a 1 women mission to educate those around me. Deep breath, and continue...

Original poster
lilyloo · 09/07/2008 16:56

Weasle know what you mean but luckily i have come back on the sleep one as ds bf and didn't sleep until 3 , but dd1 bf and slept through from 6 weeks so i always mention her on the 'her sleep will improve rudenessadvice'

OP posts:
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 09/07/2008 17:07

Your daughter will have the last laugh when she is physically and emotionally strong and healthy (and smarter, and funnier and more beautiful and, well, I just think bfing is a super power and one we should cherish and relish)!

If only I'd known ff would make my child ugly, stupid and lacking a sense of humour.

allyspice · 09/07/2008 17:12

This really annoys me. When I was having a hard time breast feeding I got so many guilt trips about even considering giving up because I was at my wits end - "it really is best for baby, you know, so many advantages etc etc etc" and then when you bf for a nanosecond over 6 months, you're suddenly some kind of deviant.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

toddlerhip · 10/07/2008 18:48

Weasel - i tried the 1-woman-educating thing. I've been there. Wouldn't bother. You have to want to learn to be receptive and people whose arguments are opposing yours are unlikely to be in that frame of mind. Save your energy. Just tell them it's a fait accompli and that's that. Studiously raise an eyebrow and ignore any other comments & they'll get the message. If they insist on arguing just tell them you've said all you're going to say on the subject. Arguing about bf is stressful and always leads nowhere.

StealthPolarBear · 10/07/2008 20:35

I don't know the answer but make sure you say bitty before they do

suey2 · 10/07/2008 20:55

i just tell folk the truth: (dd is 6/12 too) they cannot drink cows's milk until 1 year and that my niece got dreadful excema when she went onto formula so i am not taking any chances. Also, we are going on holiday and it will be a lot easier to be BF rather than FF when we are away.

What IS it with these people?

domesticslattern · 10/07/2008 20:55

Last time I visited my mother, she said "Oh darling, I hope you're not going to be one of those women who goes on and on". DD is 7 months fgs. I just smiled sweetly and say, "We'll see- I'm taking it as it comes".

Like Toddlerhip I do feel that trying to convert people like this is pointless. But I am quietly steely- it has taken me many many months to actually enjoy bf, and I won't be giving up before is right for both of us.

toddlerhip · 10/07/2008 23:57

So glad domesticslattern, i thought i was the only one it had taken ages to be easy with it. If you've put in hundreds of hours or uphill effort where only you know what counting the minutes at 3AM is like you don't want to stop before you're both well and truly ready.

puffylovett · 11/07/2008 00:05

Smile beautifically and just say 'bitty'

seriously though, i know exactly where you're coming from, I've had it since ds was 6 mths (he's 16 mths now). My mum seriously told me last month that I was not having my wedding reception in her garden next year if i was still doing 'that' pointedly looking at me feeding ds

this from a woman who bfed 3 of us up to a year

it's a running 'joke' in my family that I'm going to be bfeeding till he's 15

one of these days..... grrrr...

whomovedmychocolate · 11/07/2008 00:09

Lililoo - fuck em, you carry on. I'm still breastfeeding my 20 month old and am due to give birth to my son imminently. There is no downside to continued nursing - for you or your child.

And hopefully, eventually people will realise that.

Oh and don't worry, eventually people studiously ignore the fact you are still breastfeeding and just don't mention it and make you cups of tea when you get your boobs out to feed so they can pretend it's not happening. Which is fine with me - I like a cuppa

BionicEar · 11/07/2008 00:44

I bf my dd until she was 2yrs and basically anyone who raised an eyebrow, I just ignored them, and said, "not any of your business, I'm doing what's best for my child." Finish at 2yrs, cos dd was losing interest and my supply was drying up.

sabire · 11/07/2008 09:35

Just tell them you prefer your child to eat FRESH food so won't be switching to freeze dried artificial milk any time soon.

They can't argue with that!

Lucyand2 · 11/07/2008 10:27

mwah ha ha, my mum said things like to me all the time, even going as far to ask if I was going to be one of those freaky women. I said yes! Sadly DD1 weaned herself at 1.

Original poster
lilyloo · 11/07/2008 11:55

Oh well guess i am going to have to come to terms with with being one of those women then

OP posts:
bb99 · 11/07/2008 12:06

Reply - 'well it's VERY normal on the continent to BF until they're 4 or 5 years old and the WHO guidelines state a minimum of 12 months ATLEAST... so really it would be fantastic to carry on...and look at all the health evidence...only the best...blah, blah, blah...'

Should enable them to be a bit quieter.

Or just ignore - you do what YOU* want to with your child!

yetihed · 12/07/2008 08:53

I don't have any witty retorts for you, lilyloo, I think you have enough to keep you going! Some of these are hilarious! I would say, though, that you should feed your dd however you bloomin' well like and do it with pride. Be one of those women and know that you are in good company.

philmassive · 12/07/2008 08:57

Just had to add my reply on this one!

I bf ds1 until he was 2.5 and people used to ask me/look askance etc.

When people used to make comments along the line of 'why are you still doing that' I used to say 'why? What's wrong with it?', in a voice that suggested that some new anti-bf news must have broken that I had missed. In every case the questioner would say 'er, nothing' and slink off. That way I made them feel awkward, and not me feel awkward.

Lovely liberating feeling it is, to bully a bully back!

AbricotsSecs · 12/07/2008 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn