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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding in public - when did it get easier for you?

30 replies

Fleecy · 28/06/2008 21:58

Erm, that's it really!

Didn't bf DD so am very surprised to be feeding DS at 11wks. But I find it really hard to feed when we go out. He's so easily distracted and comes on and off the breast, looking all around. Which makes it hard for me not to flash everyone in sight.

I'm guessing everyone feels like this at first. So when does it get easier? Or do you just not care after a while?

OP posts:
DustyTV · 28/06/2008 22:01

Oh god yes, felt empowered after first time and have never looked back since.

Dont worry about flashing, seriously it gets so much easier and in the end you really do not care anymore.

onepieceoflollipop · 28/06/2008 22:03

They often start getting a bit distracted from this stage on. However they still only have little tummies and like to be given milk frequently as you know. I would suggest having a couple of muslins, one to catch the spray as he pulls on and off (!) the other to use as a mini cover up (if you feel the need).

I used to find it easier if I looked as if I was focussed on the baby, but I always had half an ear/eye out ready to give out "push off" vibes to anyone who looked like they might fancy tutting/commenting etc. I never had a negative experience from that point of you.

Sometimes it is better to wait until he is really hungry (obviously I don't mean at the screaming stage) I mean hungry enough to stay on for a decent snack. Also a quieter environment might be better for him. Some mums go in the baby room NOT because they feel they ought to hide away, but just because they have nosey distractible babies>

Sounds like you are doing really well.

Posey · 28/06/2008 22:04

Dd was also very distracted and I became a dab-hand at quickly putting a finger over nipple to prevent a squirt
If I was in a cafe I would just choose a seat facing as few people as poss. I think by the time I had ds I had become quite good at quickly covering up if he moved away, otherwise found he was hiding most of my exposed bits.

Well done so far!

onepieceoflollipop · 28/06/2008 22:04

point of view

peggotty · 28/06/2008 22:05

It'll start to get easier for you soon - a combination of not caring so much, and you developing a better technique! Have to tell you though, my ds is easily distracted and that's still going on at nearly 6 months - it's a pain! I feel more comfortable feeding in certain places and not so comfortable in others... I wear a loose top and a vest top underneath - pull the loose top up and the vest top down and you don't have anything on display that way! I think I will always be a bit 'funny' about havning to feed in public but I do it, and I've done just about everywhere, because you just have to!

callmeovercautious · 28/06/2008 22:06

I am self consious so was suprised by how easy I found it after a few times. Certain places were hard - a friends DD Christening etc. The local Library allows BFing Mums to use the Childrens section so it was my refuge several times - I also met some other Mums there.

No time limit, just go for it and see how you feel, Costa and Starbucks are very relaxed here.

dewmeadow · 28/06/2008 22:06

bf at a big summer festival today - v pleased with myself - shes 11 mths [proud emoticon]

foxythesnowfox · 28/06/2008 22:06

Same as Dusty, first time was fine and it got easier and easier. Oddly by the time I had DC3 I get very self-conscious and wasn't keen. Now DC4 is a year old I am self-conscious about it again because she is a wee bit older. No one has said anything to me - ever - though.

theinsider · 28/06/2008 22:09

3rd baby. Large of nork, not best figure, far too embarrassed. By dc3 no choice. Hooked muslin into opposite bra strap and we were away. Also peggotty's advice re vest top down, main top up is great. Hides everything. no muffin tops ( and more!) spilling out.

tori32 · 28/06/2008 22:15

DD1 I had to express to go out as couldn't face bf in public and stopped after 6wks, so well done for keeping going!
dd2 is 13wks and I was determined to not care. I fed at the Army Royal Signals Day today, sat down on a concrete path with my legs crossed in the middle of a crowd of people. Not one person commented or looked at me funny.
My dd also is nosey and keeps coming off. I just put the opposite hand to the feeding arm next to her face so I can quickly pull my top down if she pulls off

Elasticwoman · 28/06/2008 22:16

I never cared who saw. When in public I had many approving comments and often practical help eg getting baby buggy on board a train while baby latched on.

If you are only worried about what it looks like to others, Fleecy, you are doing much better than I was at 11 weeks. My usual thought was OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH .... at that stage. So well done Fleecy and long may it continue.

tori32 · 28/06/2008 22:19

PS I usually find a wall/ DH/friend/ pram to park next to my exposed side. If you get baggy tops you can pull it towards the feeding side so more covers that side iyswim.
Its just up at the front and baby covers it.

lilyloo · 28/06/2008 22:21

I think it's more a case of getting use to it. I am sure everyone feels slightly conscious.
I have bf all mine and find some situations easier than others.
I am bf dd2 5.5 mths and offered to have my bf observed for a trainee midwife and despite me feeling pretty ok bf i still felt conscious doing this.
I think you just find the place to bf where you feel happiest and most comfortable. You do sort of get used to it.

LolaLadybird · 28/06/2008 23:06

The vest top idea is inspired! I found a muslin over the shoulder seemed to do the trick. I think you definitely do get more confident with time and practice (and almost downright cocky if out with a group of other bfing mums! )

By the time DD was about 8 mths, bfing in public was practically impossible because of her nosiness. I remember going into a feeding room at a department store and willing the other mums who were chatting to finish up and go so I could get DD to latch on for more than 5 seconds at a time (she is supremely nosely like her mother ).

hellymelly · 28/06/2008 23:10

any day now! no, seriously it has taken me ages and i still feel awkward in places where there are men I don't know, but the older I get and the longer I feed the less i care who I flash flesh at.(3 and a half years in)

DustyTV · 28/06/2008 23:16

I have to cut the vest tops down around the neckline and wear a t shirt over the top as my norks are too big to allow me to pull the vest top down. It still works a treat though.

mummyrayjay · 28/06/2008 23:22

I cannot remember when exactly, I think it was around 4months when ds was so hungry and I was food shopping alone in asda and I feed him while walking around pushing a trolly..

But one thing that would make it so much easier is a sling that goes across your body and holds the baby very close to you, then you can discreetly bf.

I never had one but wih i did as it would all be hands free and more discreet.

I found wearing the right clothes for feeding really helped too...

ilovemydog · 28/06/2008 23:36

Having a good nursing bra helps...

Having a toddler who screams 'boobie!!!' definitely doesn't help....

But I take the viewpoint that what I'm doing is natural, and don't really care what others think.

Original poster
Fleecy · 29/06/2008 09:20

Thanks for your replies.

Definitely don't want to mess with my supply by giving a bottle when I'm out and, like you Tori, am determined to carry on this time (especially having got past the cracked nipples etc!).

I think I found it especially hard this week because I had to feed him while sat next to a group of firemen. Not a situation I find myself in every day (sadly!) but one that didn't make things any easier.

So I guess I'll keep practising whenever we go out and soon I'll care a lot less

BTW, am in awe of your Asda feeding mummyrayjay!

OP posts:
mellyonion · 29/06/2008 09:34

hi. i remember getting all worked up before having to feed in public....

i found that wearing easy clothes worked a treat...pull your t shirt up, latch the baby on, then wrinkle t shirt down to just above babys nose to hide everything...wear something you know you can feed comfortably in...also practice getting you boob out and putting it away in a mirror...you get an idea then of how you look to others, and can learn to do it under your clothes, or more discreetly if you choose to..

i found it much easier to feed if i was with someone...they sort of distracted me from feeling self consious..also, i used to read something once i was feeding..a book, a leaflet, a magazine... a menu..whatever! it meant that i was unaware f people looking at me (if they even were!)

as my kids got older, my confidence grew...me and my baby had a good technique going, there was no fussing to get latched on, and i became a bit more "stuff you" with my attitude towards others.

be confident in yourself, and that you are only feeding your baby....

good on you for sticking at it.

cupsoftea · 29/06/2008 09:37

have bf in public for years now!!! & have always just got on with it - I just don't care what anyone might say. I wear looser tops & find cardigans great for coverage.

StrangeTown · 29/06/2008 09:37

You are doing really well fleecy, they are a bit tricky at around this stage, it suddenly seemed to click a couple of weeks further down the line and then I could get him on/off no problem.

The times I did feel awkward, someone usually managed to smile ecouragingly at me. An old man in a cafe said - 'eh love he looks well, it must be because your feeding him the real stuff' and I was pleased all day.

ChukkyPig · 29/06/2008 10:03

It also gets easier as they get bigger as their head obscures move of the boob. Also once they are strong enough to hold their own head it frees up one of your arms to move muslins/covers around etc.

I must admit I have been quite rubbish at the whole feeding in public thing, and when DD was small I used to go to places where I knew there were feeding rooms for me to go if I needed.

onepieceoflollipop · 29/06/2008 13:34

StrangeTown what a lovely man. My Grandad used to make similar "matter of fact" and approving comments about b/feeding (but not directly to unknown ladies). I had a similar experience in an M&S cafe once, and older lady came over and made a lovely effort to encourage me and tell me how well I was doing. It is a real boost.

In fact when I got back I was straight onto MNet to post about it!

cafebistro · 29/06/2008 13:39

Have never felt totally comfortable bf in public even 4 months on...so i just choose not to. But im all for other mothers doing it just wish i had their confidence!!