feel such a bloody failure.

[ruty]

I haven't felt this low in a long time. Baby started breastfeeding so beautifully in hospital, everything went so well for first week, then as some of you might know she started to get very sleepy and midwife suggested we go to doc. He suggested i feed her expressed milk in a bottle every 3 hours to check she was getting enough, so out came the express machine. then gradually she seemed to show a preference for the bottle, over a period of about 2 weeks, and her willingness to go to the breast got less. I've posted here before, and I've rung LLL counsellor twice - first time got a nice lady but didn;t really know what to suggest except lots of skin to skin, second time got quite a bored lady who didn't really know what to suggest. Tried breastfeeding network endlessly and no reply. Tried a breastfeeding bus, nice lady, said she was confused by my baby, my latch ok but she just didn't want to latch on. Breastfeeding clinic at local hospital closed for 3 weeks.

I feel totally alone. Baby just now cried for half an hour, fighting me at the breast, after feeding at 6pm for 4 mins on the breast. I just gave her a bottle of expressed milk which she glugged down. I have cried so much today, i feel so rejected by her and miss the breastfeeding so much. I breastfed my son for nearly 3 years and my baby is 6 weeks and she won't breastfeed.
Don't know if anyone can help, but please if you have any ideas, please let me know.

Did you hear from Geraldine?
(another sneaky bump really )

Good morning Ruty
The baby cafe is on today in headington
www.thebabycafe.co.uk/L/BC_Detail.php?ID=70
Could you pop along there?
I could even come with you if you went at about lunchtime.
What bottles are you using?
I'm having the opposite problem with DS2, he just doesn't not like his bottles, so I've bought some of the tommee tippee closer to nature ones, they are more like the breast, so apparently less likely to cause nipple confusion, also maybe giving a slower flow teat could help? (this is just an idea off the top of my head, nothing behind it, I've never seen or heard it mentioned before, just think if maybe the bottle wasn't quite so easy it may be less attractive to her)

she's so bloody sleepy. Slept all day yesterday with only about a couple of hours in total awake. Slept all night with 4 mins feed at 6am. woke her at 8am and she had 2 mins. Now impossible to wake. And do i give her a bottle in the next hour or so to make sure she is hydrated enough or leave it?

Aw thanks VS. today supposed to be going to a friend's birthday lunch. Dreading it because either i take a bottle or struggle to feed her and she sleeps through it.
Ds was like that, never took a bottle! I have the Mam slow flow one with a flat teat, supposed to be more like a nipple. Also have one that is supposed to be like a breast but she rejects that one!

i did go to the breastfeeding bus, i wonder if the baby cafe is the same people? I might try to excuse myself early from lunch and go down there...

Could this be prolonged jaundice ruty??? My ds had this at 6 weeks and was a nightmare feeder I would get her bilirubin level checked out - its a fairly common problem with jaundiced babies I think. Good luck x

Here are a few links you may want to take a look at.

www.kjsl.net/%7Ecee/confuse.htm
www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T022400.asp

I don't really know what to advise, I'd probably be sat on the phone to every possible councillor available all day every day, crying!

ruty, I am not going to add to this with more suggestions. You've had more than enough, and to be honest, I think it was 'suggestions' that really made things worse (doc 'suggesting' you expressed and gave in a bottle was utter rubbish...). It's horrible for you to feel like this, and you do need expert help and observation...good luck, hope you get it.

Ruty, no advice to add,but just wanted to let you know you can keep trying. Me and my little one struggled with a fast let down and i ended up expressing a lot, but have now been solely on breast feeds for about two weeks and my piglet is 14weeks!

Totally sympathise about feeling rejected, when you and the baby are crying at 3am it feels like the end of the world,but now i am so gald i managed to keep going.

thanks everyone. Got to take her out now to friend's house. Have tried to feed her since 8am. She's awake sucking her mitt but not interested in breast. Will check back later. thanks again.

Hope things improve for you both ruty.
Can you try feeding skin to skin? Strip DD down to nappy and dont wear any bra or top yourself?
This might help her gain interest and is nice way to try and make feeding less stressful for you both.
Also I know it' not a solution but I remember there being a study which found that epidurals were thought to be linked to increased probs breastfeeing
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6161727.stm
WOuld prob try a cup or syringe if she is not feeding from breast, but as the others say you need some proper one to one help, hope you get it.

I hesitate to add any other suggestions because I think wise Tiktok thinks you're drowning in them, but (here goes anyway...) have you tried feeding in a different position? At the beginning my dd would only do the rugby ball position and only from the right side. Flatly refused any other way. She also wanted to sleep and I had to put cold water on her hands to keep her awake . I hated doing it, but it did wake her up enough to feed.

turned out to be a bit of a hectic day [unusually] because of friend's do and then an old family friend visited from Germany this afternoon which i had forgotten about, so didn't manage to ring Geraldine today, will do so tomorrow. Slight improvement today, she's had a few feeds on the breast, always 3-4 mins, but better than screaming and pushing it away. I've given her a little bit in a bottle twice, just in case. It is a different bottle, shaped more like a nipple and apparently they have to put their tongue in the breastfeeding position. She doesn't like it much but she's had the two small feeds from it. Only problem is i don't know if she's had enough - but she's awake and not crying so presumably not hungry? Wet nappies and a poo today. I'm hoping she's getting used to breast again, will see how it goes.
Funnily enough friend from germany said today her daughter used a habermann bottle Kyte for her premature baby - i will look it up.
Great charitas you finally got your babe on the breast, well bloody done you!
Thanks so much everyone for help and suggestions, will keep you posted.

the bottle i've used is here: www.breastflow.co.uk

I hesitate to suggest it - because I don't want to overload you with 'helpful' suggestions that just add to your work load ...

you can get 'supplemental feeders' www.poshmums.com/breastfeeding/medela-SNS-supplemental-nursing-system.htm

Instead of feeding directly from a bottle, you put the EBM/formula through a ltttle tube to your nipple (!) so that the baby 'breastfeeds' .

It might help your baby be less frustrated, and get back in the swing of associtaing breasts with satisfying feeds.

I never used it myself.

just left a message on Geraldine's answerphone. Hope to speak to her today.

Geraldine called me back and sounds lovely. I'll talk to her again tomorrow. Thanks Turniphead.

thanks turnip have fun x