Two weeks in and I think I really hate breast feeding

[ElmMum]

Considering giving up on breast feeding. Seems like formula would be so much easier - or am I fooling myself? Apart from the benefits to the baby of breast milk, what are the down sides of formula feeding?

Has anyone else really hated breast feeding and given up? How does the milk dry up??

Bit of background...

DD is two weeks old. BF started well (I thought) but had to feed lying down because c-section meant I couldn't really sit her on my lap.

After 3 days developed cracked bleeding nipples, so think the latch lying down wasn't right. Got through that with help of lovely midwife who showed me rugby ball position and helped with latch. Expressed and cup fed til nipples recovered. Then back on the BF with occasional expressed bottles to give the nipples a break.

After a few days of things going smoothly, left nipple is getting sore again. DD is flailing about at the start of feeds, pulling her head back and turning a good latch into a bad one.

Feel like the whole thing is on a knife edge - one sore nipple and we're stuffed - baby won't get enough to eat, she'll be crying for food and I'll be unable to feed her. And I have to do it every 2 hours!!

I know this is all prob normal, but really feel like it's not worth the effort. Is it???

Give it more time. In a month or so all this pain will seem like a distant memory. It does get easier and you shouldn't be in pain once your nipple get used to it. I went through all this but really enjoyed feeding both my boys for well over a year each.

I am formula feeding and hate it, it's such a faff with all the sterilising, making up feeds etc. I'm gutted I never managed to excl bfeed, try and stick with it, you'll be thankful a month or so down the line!!

It does get easier, but I wonder if seeing a breastfeeding counsellor would help? I'd almost forgotten sitting in pain when feeding dd - she's 20 months and feeding a little bit at bedtime. For me formula feeding seemed like a lot of faff - I'm very disorganised, so it helped to be able to go out and about without having to remember bottles, etc.

It is worth the effort - sounds like maybe shes getting a bit of nipple confusion so maybe going back to cup feeding if you really feel the need for a break.

Silverettes are supposed to be amazing for nipple healing, so its worth getting some. I presume you already have Lanisoh.

Its worth getting in touch with a local BFC to get some face to face expert advice.

You know what breastfeeding does for your baby - formula increases the rate of allergies, respiratory infection, gastrointestinal infections, autoimmune conditions, and obesity for your baby, and also your protection against endometrial and breast cancer and rheumatoid arthritis.

BFing can be hard to start with, but with expert help it really does get easier and easier until its second nature

I went through the same as you and have to confess I gave in and bottle fed in the end. The stress of trying and failing to breast feed made me ill - my breasts were cracked and engorged, I couldn't eat, lost weight and I started to feel really depressed. I decided, along with my husband that it was better for me and my son to put him on formula after three weeks. He put on loads of weight - back on to his normal centile line as his weight was really dropping on the breast. He is now a gorgeous, bright, happy six year old. I felt so much guilt at the time but now realise everyone has to do what is right for them. I hope this helps.

agree to give it more time...at least six to eight weeks. the first few weeks can be really tough but it does get better, honestly. i had a terrible first few weeks, then went on to feed DD till 10 months and only stopped because I was pregnant again and she refused to feed.

Is there a reason for her flailing about? you had a section so would have had antibiotics....does she have thrush in her mouth so it's uncomfortable for her to feed? or an ear infection? My DD was refusing to latch at about four weeks and crying if I laid her down and she had a bad ear infection.

Another thing to check is your positioning prior to latching her on. A few centimetres the wrong way can make a huge difference on comfort levels. Can you go to a baby cafe or BF support group locally, or get a BFC to come out to see you? fix the latch and the feeding is easy.

You can possibly use nipple shields to get you over an immediate sore nipple crisis, but I'd be wary about using them all the time as it can make feeding more difficult in the long run.

Aside from the obvious stuff about health with bottle feeding (which i won't go into here as i don't want your thread to be a BF/FF bunfight), once BFing is established you are up and out the door with just a couple of nappies in your bag, there is no faffing around sterilising bottles; your routine can be a bit freer I think.

and absolutely it is worth the effort.

This is a completely normal way to feel at this stage, ime.

Down sides of formula feeding are:

1. You have to make up each feed with boiling water when you need it. So there's lots of hanging around waiting for milk to cool down while baby screams on your shoulder.

2)There's washing and sterilising of 8+ bottles, every day.

3)If you go out you have to have bottles, milk, way to heat milk, with you.

4. If you get held up (we once got stuck on the M6 for 7 hours after an accident) or want to stay out longer than you intended then you have to find some way of feeding your baby.

5. Formula costs £6+ a box, which mounts up when they're getting through nearly 2 boxes a week.

Will that do for starters?

Honestly, having done both, I can tell you that bf is a thousand times easier, once the first 6 weeks are over.

Have you been in touch with a bf counsellor? They are much better qualified to help with latch problems than midwives and will also help with ways of healing your nipples without the rigmarole of expressing, etc.

I would also recommend really layering on Lansinoh after every feed, I used to put a huge dollop on which really helped.

Someone on here also recommends Silverette (I think) for healing cracks, will hunt out a link for you.

If you can hang on in there through the early weeks it will all fall into place and it will be so much easier than ff, I promise.

elmmum (nice name)
you need to speak to / see / have visit from a proper trained breastfeeding counsellor because it sounds from what you say that you need help i will post numbers in a sec, but before...

it can be difficult to establish bf but once you get over that it is wonderfully rewarding and you have done very well so far.

(Hi Daisy!)

Just to say that I gave up BF with both DCs because it was just too painful and not a positive experience at all, and found FF to be totally easy and not a faff at all. I didn't sterilise bottles (dishwasher is sufficient) and used ready made formula so sterilising the powder wasn't necessary either. Easy peasy. The worst part was getting over the guilt of everyone telling me BF is so much better. However for us FF was definitely happier for all involved.

Good luck whatever you choose.

The other thing is the sheer discomfort of massive boobs and back ache from feeding which gives me headaches.

Feel like I'm making a fuss and moaning about things that everyone goes through, but really feel trapped by the breastfeeding at the moment.

And I can't find anything to bloody wear that will let me feed in public. All the nursing tops are clingy and I still have a massive bump.

Agh, just feeling very sorry for myself

[http://howbreastfeedingworks.com/ numbers]] down right hand side column. elm please don't give up before you've sought advice and got some help because it really does get so much easier.

drat. howbreastfeedingworks.com

elmmum, TWO WEEKS you should not be worried about bumps, stomachs, clothes, what anybody thinks.

BF doesn't get easier for everyone though! And I tried everything, honestly...

Elm don't beat yourself up if you want to try FF. If you have given BF a good try, good for you. You musn't feel it's so negative though, that wouldn't be best.

waves back to lilkel

elmmum, remember your body is still raging with hormones. I think around the two to three week mark is just the pits hormonally. We all stress about BFing in public. I never managed it at all with DS (gave up BFing at six weeks sadly), and with DD I think it was a good eight weeks before I plucked up the courage.

A well placed muslin square works wonders, and wear a strappy vest (you can get some with drop cups) under your tops for maximum tummy coverage.

And remember it's only been two weeks. There is so much pressure these days for Mums to get back to normal very quickly which doesn't really fit in with getting BFing well established imvho. If I were you I'd give it some more time and in the meantime remind yourself that you are doing a great job and giving your DD the very best start in life

lilQuiditchKel i am very sorry bf did't work out for you. But elmmum is only 14 days in so perhaps suggesting otherwise isn't the most helpful thing?

Message withdrawn

Do not stop!

Breast feeding should not/does not have to hurt at all. Get advice quickly from breast feeding adviser/lactation supporter; your hospital may have a service for this.

Having said all that and knowing v well all the advantages of bfing as I am sure you do, here is my confession: I do not like bfing, but am still hoping if I keep going long enough the convenience of it will win out. I am currently feeding DS3, aged 11 weeks. It is already great to see him growing and developing and being able to think: I did this. Also out and about with grumpy baby there is always something I can do to calm him down. It has taken me to 3rd child to get the hang of it but I still do not like what I feel is the physical intrusiveness of BF. I suppose I quite like to be left alone and a BF baby will certainly NOT do that.

Get online to wwww.thebirthden.com and find link to breastfeeding, DR Jack Newman: brilliant videos re good latch/bad latch, different positions etc etc. And get hands-on advice (with DS1 I had BF support nurse latch him on for me )

Good luck and do not dispair. I recently suggested starting a support group for mothers who want to BF for the benefit for their babies but jost do not like it.... Selfishly I am relieved to find I am not the only one. Keep smiling!

This too shall pass !( this is the main thing I found made having subsequent babies easier from the first - it does get better, keep telling yourself that!)

I LOATHED breasfeeding 2 weeks in. It hurt, ds was still losing weight and screaming during and after feeds and I dreaded every feed. I think I cried several times every day for the first 4-6 weeks as I hated it all so much but felt compelled to continue. Almost overnight at 6 weeks it felt as though we clicked and it got a whole lot easier. Almost at 6 months now and glad we stuck with it.

I will admit I gave him the occasional bottle of formula from 3 weeks onwards when it all became too much and I needed a rest. Even making up the occasional bottle made me realise what a nightmare making up formula with an inpatient screaming baby is.

lilQuidditchKel, can I ask what stage you gave up at and why? Only because I gave up before 6 weeks with my first 2 dcs, thinking I'd tried everything and was gutted but with dc3 I'd found MN and there was so much more help and support around than I ever realised. I'm still bfing now, at 17mo.

ElmMum, I would encourage you to hang on in until the 6 week mark or so, if you can. The early days of bfing are often truly awful and I think it's worse if you've had a cs because of the pain from the scar.
The site fishie linked to is fab, as is Kellymom.

The backache is probably due to you not having a very good position to feed in, a bfc could help you with that, as well as the latch so ringing one of the BF organisations would be a good first step.

WRT feeding in public, having a vest top on underneath a looser top will keep the old jelly belly covered up . You lift the top up and pull the vest and bra down - access to boob while hiding belly!

i found feeding upsetting and painful for weeks but i got the hang of it by about seven weeks and i went on to feed for thirteen months!

some great advice already here just wanted to encourage you. oh, and they never worked for my mum but nipple shields saved my feeding. i found them great to give my nipples some healing as they would bleed. ow!!

so glad i held on. however dont feel bad if it doesn't work out in the end, you have given your baby a very good start. best of luck!

i found feeding upsetting and painful for weeks but i got the hang of it by about seven weeks and i went on to feed for thirteen months!

some great advice already here just wanted to encourage you. oh, and they never worked for my mum but nipple shields saved my feeding. i found them great to give my nipples some healing as they would bleed. ow!!

so glad i held on. however dont feel bad if it doesn't work out in the end, you have given your baby a very good start. best of luck!

Oh, and it took me to well over 8 weeks to feel confident that I could do this...

If you really want to bf, then persevere. It will suddenly come good IME, but it is bloody hard work. And I found it toe-curlingly painful in the first couple of weeks.

Perhaps set yourself a time period, say, 6 weeks. If not, then move on.

Lansinoh cream is fantastic for cracked nipples.

Kellymom is a brilliant website for all things breastfeeding.

And there are some breastfeeding helplines, I'll see if I can find a thread to link.

My experience is that bf all 4 of mine has been painful and hardwork, but they have come good and once you've cracked it, it really is a doddle. I'm still feeding DC4 who turns a year next month, but that's mainly because I keep forgetting to make her bottle