Two weeks in and I think I really hate breast feeding

[ElmMum]

Considering giving up on breast feeding. Seems like formula would be so much easier - or am I fooling myself? Apart from the benefits to the baby of breast milk, what are the down sides of formula feeding?

Has anyone else really hated breast feeding and given up? How does the milk dry up??

Bit of background...

DD is two weeks old. BF started well (I thought) but had to feed lying down because c-section meant I couldn't really sit her on my lap.

After 3 days developed cracked bleeding nipples, so think the latch lying down wasn't right. Got through that with help of lovely midwife who showed me rugby ball position and helped with latch. Expressed and cup fed til nipples recovered. Then back on the BF with occasional expressed bottles to give the nipples a break.

After a few days of things going smoothly, left nipple is getting sore again. DD is flailing about at the start of feeds, pulling her head back and turning a good latch into a bad one.

Feel like the whole thing is on a knife edge - one sore nipple and we're stuffed - baby won't get enough to eat, she'll be crying for food and I'll be unable to feed her. And I have to do it every 2 hours!!

I know this is all prob normal, but really feel like it's not worth the effort. Is it???

nothing to be about foxy .

I found it tricky at first re positioning but my community midwife was brilliant - she was also a BF counsellor - and she instilled confidence in me. I had sore nipples at initial latch but fine now after first few weeks.
I love breast feeding esp when DD gets a good latch, a good feed and then a good burp! Only probs are if she is not winded properly and subsequent feeds can be tricky.

Babies are like little puzzles that need to be figured out all the time and BF is part of that (is she hungry or just tired? Is she coming off because she's full or windy? And so on). Ultimately though I would be devastated if I couldnt feed her, its a great bonding experience.

what a lovely post peedoffoandpg

I hated bfeeding dd; intitally. I had cracked nipples and blood blisters before i even left the hospital. Three bouts of double mastitis (spelling?) later, 6 weeks of expressing and bottle feeding and 3 days into winding down to formula feed i was forced into having to breastfeed (Got stuck in an M5 shutdown!). It just clicked. I don't know whether it was because i had distanced myself from the stress because we had agreed to formula feed or whether it was just our time to click, but it just did and she weaned herself from me at 15 months.

I found Bfeeding is easier than bottle as you're not having to sterilise and make up new formula after an hour etc etc, but like you're finding bfeeding has its more complicated side as well, ie, having the confidence and finding clothes that you can easily hoik up and don't show too much. ( i have found a bravisimo nursing vest under a tshirt or shirt works best for me).

I now have a ds and he has been bfeeding sucessfully from the first hour and if I hadn't been forced into that feed, I can honestly say that ds probably wouldn't have been put anywhere near a nipple.

Mamalovesmojitos is right don't feel bad if you decide it isn't working out, just do what is right for you and feel proud that you have given your baby the best start.

flailing around at start of feed could be due to a too strong flow of milk...makes them choke and gasp, pull head back etc. Try expressing a little into a muslin first.

Yes, you could have a fast let-down. Start off feeding on the side you finished on last time. Offer both sides.

It can be tough going the first few weeks. it's definitely worth it.

Having done both (a long time ago) I would say

ff - against - is a faff, the washing and making the bottles, waiting for the right temp with hungry baby not a great deal of fun and having to get out of bed at night wasn't nice either, not alwasy easy to comfort in between feeds

for - someone else can take the strain, you can have a routine

BF - against - no one can help, more frequent, can be sore, wet tops

for - it's convenient as is always there, no gettig out of bed at night and I even used to doze whilst feeding, a boob will comfort at least 90% of the time, it's ready as when needed

I would talk to someone for help if it is something you really want to continue, if I had my time again, I would BF for pure ease as first reason. It does get better and easier

Find your local support group

It will get easier, getting help will help Once it settles down you will be so glad you didn't stop.

The boobs settle down when you learn your baby's pattern and you become more efficient at making milk. You'll suddenly realise you don't remember the last time they ached or tingled! You do know you can take painkillers, don't you? Co-codamol (or any other paracetamol/codeine mix) is safe if you are able to take it, they say not ibuprofen though.

Have you tried H&M for nursing tops? They're really nice, cheaper than the specialist shops (like JoJo) and easier to use. I still wear mine, even though I'm not feeding in the day, as they're nice looking and you can't tell.

lilQuidditchKel ready made formula is even more expensive! Not many people could afford to sustain that.

Thanks everyone. Had to duck off for a bit as husband doing night feed so had opp for a good sleep.

Re nursing clothes - Our local H&M doesn't do maternity clothes It's not the fear of revealing jelly belly that's stopping me BF in public. It's the fact that my belly is still a large bump means I can't actually fit into any of my normal clothes and all my maternity clothes cling to the bump and literally make me look about 5 months pregnant. Whilst that shouldn't matter, I'm finding it really depressing and embarrassing. A nursing vest under a loose top is all I need but I can't find a top that fits! Seems unlikely but it's true!

I will keep going - I know it's the right thing to do. When nipples don't hurt, I feel positive about it. When nipples hurt I start to panic and feel overwhelmed.

Will contact BF support group and get some help asap. Poss invest in one of those rocking chairs so I can sit comfortably at least.

Thanks again all

It is hard in the first weeks, well done for hanging in there .

also try ebay for maternity and nursing stuff.

I had a v. hard first 6 weeks establishing bf with my dd. My strategy was to promise myself I'd do "1 more week" and then decide. For me it always felt more achievable to commit to "1 more week" than to say I'd do a month or 6 weeks. By 6 - 8 weeks things were undercontrol and I happily continued to 6 months.

Get a bf counsellor to help you (not a regular midwife), get a good chair to sit in - doesn't have to be expensive rocker unless you want one , if your back is hurting experiement with pillows etc. I used to get back ache because I'd hunch over to baby rather than bring her up to my breast's height.

It takes 6 weeks to get bfing properly established.
I remember in the first couple of weeks crying as ds latched on as it was so painful. But with help from the BFC and the lovely ladies of Mumsnet, I'm still bfing my nearly 6mo.
It hasn't been all smooth sailing, but it is a fantastic experience (been having a few ishoos with him wanting to play instead of feed, which are now getting better!)
I just love the convenience of it. It helped when ds he had his jabs - a bf straight after and it calmed him right down, and he had a lovely long nap. He is an impatient little sausage as well - I think he rather I didn't bother with tops as it obviously takes far to long for me to undo the nursing clips on my bra
When I was at Church, I went down to the creche to feed ds, as he was being too noisy and fidgety during the service. Another baby came down, brought down by his daddy to be fed, I was torn between envy that dad could feed the little one but also relief as the little one cried for nearly 10 mins while mum frantically prepared and heated his bottle!
Please keep trying and peservering, but if you do decide to switch to ff - please do NOT feel guilty. You will have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Ultimately it is you choice how you feed your baby.
As for nursing tops, I got these from ebay which are good, bra shelf so don't need a bra and you can wear a loose top or a pretty cardi over the top for coverage. They come in different sizes and colours.

ElmMum as to your big boobs. Try folding and rolling a muslin square to pop under your boobs. Also, are you making sure that you are comfortable before you start? Try leaning back once the baby is latched. Sit right back on the bed or on the couch and get comfy. It can really make your shoulders hurt when you are sat bolt upright. Also, if you are using a pillow to pop the baby on you might want to get rid of it, it may be making the baby too high.

Make sure she's NOSE TO NIPPLE. That way her head has to go BACK, her chin UP and her mouth WIDE. So she should come from UNDERNEATH the nipple really. If the latch is wrong (and you'll feel when it's wrong) pop your little finger in and break the suction then try again. Worth it I promise.

Let us know how it goes.

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God i so remember feeling like that I FF my ds1 and it was a nightmare. I hated the faffing around with bottles etc. Going anywhwere was like a military operation. The first few weeks are a blur actually as you feel sore/hormonal and generally crap anyway.

It will get easier i promise. Have you thought about a BF expert type person? Someone will link to sources of support i am sure. Once you both get the hang of it it is honestly easier than FF.

Good luck and hope things get better for you xx

Might be worth trying a bfing cushion. Not everyone rates them but truely, getting that cushion was the thing that made it bearable and I didn't give up bfing.

I remember so well the dispair of early feeding pain. You have my sympathies and my admiration for carying on. You go girl - you can do it!

Oh, and "Apart from the benefits to the baby of breast milk" - that's some pretty big benefits there.

My start with ds1 was like that. Awful. I used to have to hold dh's hand or stuff a cushion in my mouth as I latched him on it was so painful.

Then suddenly it wasn't anymore. It was fine and easy and he was fed for 13 months.

I'm still not enjoying bf much but trust me, formula is much, much harder (my first was formula fed). All that sterilising and making up bottles, screaming baby in the middle of the night while you wait for a bottle to cool down, you can't go anywhere spontaneously as you have to ensure you have enough bottles and formula, in my experience you get less sleep. The pain does get better, 5 weeks was a major turning point for me and gradually feeds will start to get further apart. 7 weeks in I can honestly see light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there a bit longer, and get as much help as you can. I was never off the phone to the breastfeeding counsellor in the first few weeks but the support I got helped immensely. I really would persevere if you possibly can, apart from anything else 2 weeks after having a baby is no time to be making a decision you may well regret.

Hi ElmMum. Well done so far. With hormones raging and pain from c-section etc, it ain't easy so well done for questioning the options. DD is 6.5mth. Failed ventouse, forceps delivery. 3rd degree tear (couldn't sit without pain for 4 months). Baby blues hit with a bang as couldn't care for DD how I imagined (could hardly move). Bfg immensely painful. Her latch was never right (with forceps delivery her jaw had been pulled and she never opened her mouth more than a centimetre). At 6wks we got thrush. SO. I expressed at first and fed her by bottle. She adapted fine. Then for the middle of the night feed, we did formula (I cried the first time as felt so guilty). Over 2 weeks, with the right thrush drugs and support from a BF counsellor, it got better until I tried to bf again. DD latched on better (had cranial osteopathy done for her neck and jaw) and off we went. In all honesty, it hurt until she was 12 weeks old. Even at 11 weeks I didn't believe it was ever going to get better, but it did. It was a long time to wait but it was definitely worth it. It's entirely up to you. Your baby needs your love. Boobmilk is great if you can, but don't worry about it. BE happy. Other things that saved my sanity: breast shells, lansinoh (LOADS of it!), not having to sterilise and be hugely planned for bottles, 'my breast friend' feeding pillow, loads of tissues and decaff tea for the tears . OH, and bfg tops no good for me. Am short, with enormous boobs so the 'gaps' to feed through were never big enough. So I wore vest top under a normal top. Pulled one up, and the other down and that gave enough space for the nipple to come out. Good excuse to wear DH's clothes. SORRY -ENORMOUS posting! Good luck - whatever you choose will be right for you.

Haven't read all posts but woulod just like to say well done for giving your LO a good start. I hated (and I mean really, really, hated) bf for the first few weeks. I had some really good support from bf counsellor and set myslf mini targets (I'll just do today / i'll do it till the weekend etc) and it did gradually become easier. Now I love it and the thought of sterilising bottles seems much more of a faff. I found that a comfy chair, footstool, pillows, tea, choc cake, phone, laptop and sky+ all really helped. I find that an undone cardi and normal top pulled up works for me.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

The first few weeks are hard but worth the effort. It's a huge shock having a baby, the lack of sleep, the dependency, the shock of having major surgery, you've been through alot already. Give yourself a break about your tummy, it's natural for it to be bigger it will go down soon and breastfeeding will help it to contract back to normal.

Breast is not best, it's normal. Formula increases the chances of your baby getting respiratory infections, urinary infections, gastro infections, and obesity and diabetes in later life etc.... and it tastes like metal whereas your milk should taste lovely!