Bit sad - think will have to wean to try for DC2

[alittleteapot]

DD is one now - AP style demand bf and I am v happy with the way things are but it's time to start trying for number 2 I think but still no sign of AF. I'm late 30s and can't hang around for nature to take its course - DD could happily go on for a couple more years and maybe I'm one of those women who doesn't get fertile again till completely stopped bfing. Most of my peers have got their periods back now. DD still feeds quite a bit at night but hardly at all in the day now. Anyone been in this position - what do I do and how do I do it? Feel sad at having to make a change but will be sadder to miss the chance of another DC...

Try and stop bfing at night, and see what happens. Night time feeding is what usually stops ovulation.

thank you. how do you do it? how did you do it starlight?

Give your baby to your dh at night time - that's the only way I could stop feeding at night.

dh rarely at home in time for bedtime so not an option - also she REALLY freaks out if i'm not around at bedtime - because she's so unused to it. also we co-sleep, just to complicate things further!

sigh, all i know is it's not going to be easy but i'm going to have to find a way. think we'll have to do the jay gordon sleep training nad go from there. dreading it, so happy but needs must.

yes your body can ovulate if you have longer gaps between feeds. i got my af back at 8 months and got preggers again at 10 months and was still bf though nto as often. it is possible to bf and get pregnant. maybe yo could give a ff at night as that will fill lo up then may bring on af in time.

co-sleeping is hard as i did til he was 9 months but kept waking up to a baby latched on. if you are there lo will latch on regardless of hungry or not. have yo tried mocing your baby to their own room yet?

presumably by giving up night feeding that doesn't include the bedtime feed? that's when she takes most...

no do feed the bedtime but not throughout the night.

We were in a similar position - ds coslept & fed all night - we tried with no luck for 9 cycles after my periods came back. At the end of the 9th cycle I night weaned ds - basically I fed him before bed then dh coslept with him & I slept in the spare room. We had one difficult night where ds was very angry but on the second night he just moaned for 20 minutes at 3am, third night was fine. The very next cycle I ovulated on CD14 (had been more like Cd17-20) & conceived straight away.

DS was 16 months old when I night weaned - it can make a massive difference to your fertility.

Thanks minster. What happened after the second night? Did you move back into the room? Did you carry on co-sleeping? And were you still feeding in the day? Sorry - so many questions!

Yup I'm still feeding during the day, typically 2 long feeds & a couple of little snacks. We stayed with dh & ds co-sleeping for about a month (at that point ds started sleeping through & not waking for water which dh offered him) then I moved back in & ds moved into the bottom bunk bed in dd's room.

A typical night now is I feed ds before dinner (just a comfort feed really), then he has dinner, bath & a bottle of cow milk, then dh puts him to bed (lies with him until he sleeps - ds does not like me putting him to bed - which takes anything between 10-20 minutes). He wakes at about 3am about 1 night in 3 & when he does dh goes to him & he settles back down with a little cuddle (although dh often ends up spending the rest of the night in there because he falls asleep). He wakes at 6am and gets into bed with me & I give him a long breastfeed.

We did the Dr Newman night weaning plan for cosleeping babies which worked pretty well. He says you can do it from a year old.

alittleteapot - snap, same here, except we are much further down the road.

My ds is 2.7 and I have been ttc for almost 18 months now. My periods came back when I stopped the mini pill 18 months ago and charting etc has shown that I am ovulating. The problem is that the breastfeeding seems to be making me ovulate later in the month leaving my luteal phase (time between ovulation and menstruation) too short for implantation. [apologies to all the MNetters who have read about my short luteal phase umpteen times before ]

I have considered weaning ds, but it is such a hard decision. He is intolerent to dairy and has an egg allergy and we are such an allergic family that I feel I need to keep feeding him. We managed to cut down enough for me to get pregnant at the end of last year, but unfortunately I miscarried.

I don't really have any advice for you, but I just wanted you to know that I understand how hard a decision it is.

Good luck

You can night wean without actually moving from the bed, I "discouraged" DD1 from nightfeeding by sleeping in a long bodied t-shirt.

The witch came back at 14 months for me, despite still doing some nightfeeds, we began ttc when she was nearly two and I was pg within 2 or 3 months of "proper" trying.

As for your age, I was 34 when I got pg with DD1, and 37 when I had DD2. I know the combination of natural term breastfeeding and being between 35-40 does impact on your fertility, but it doesn't mean you won't get pg. I know people who have had two babies without actually menstruating in between them, so you can be ovulating even if you're not having periods.

Good luck and have fun trying!

Monkies

it's tough not knowing which you're going to be isn't it? Don't think I can hand her over to DH but maybe i can begin to gently persuade her away from the breast at night. Thanks very much for all your posts.

I would encourage weaning to be honest. i'm in my late 30s and still BFing my 18month old DD, I've cut down from 4-8 feeds a day to 3 and hope to have a bit more luck ttcing this month. I've had two early miscarriages in the two months I've ttced DH blaming it on BFing, I do know that implantation can be a problem with some BFing women. You may not have any problems some women can conceive and BF, others can't. If I don't conceive this month I have two weeks to wean her completely. I think its easier for you to wean now than to leave it for a few months. It is really hard and I'm very emotional about it so I feel for you. Used my DH to night wean at 12 months took five nights but a bit of screaming but it worked.

Thanks Tapster. Have no clue about weaning and will obviously do more research but do i substitute with formula or is that only up to the age of one?

I really feal for you alittleteapot - I think I will be in the same boat: late 30s, 10 mo DS very dependent on feeding and no sign of AF. Also took us 15 months of charting and trying to get pregnant last time so I am starting to feel pressured to consider weaning too.
As far as milk goes at one they can go onto cows milk instead of formula (full fat).
Good Luck fingers crossed for you

Teapot,

You can use cows (or goats) milk rather than formula, but if you are not doing many feeds during the day you might find night weaning is all it takes.

You have been very AP so far, so be very gentle with your LO, it will be very confusing if you do things too fast. Try not nursing between 12 midnight and 4 am for a week or two then stretch it to 6 am, then 11pm to 6am, and so on. Take it one step at a time and monitor your bodys signs, (I found www.fertilityfriend.com very helpful for charting) and you may find you start ovulating without having to wean totally.

If you make the changes slowly you can probably find a way to ttc without weaning totally.

Monkies

i got period back after dropping one night feed at 3m.

still not pg after 3yrs, only morning and evening feeds. i cannot bear the thought of giving up bf and still not conceiving.

alittleteapot, your email is 100% identical to what I sat down here to write tonight! - shall we hold hands?

my ds is 13m. He feeds a couple of times in the early morning - say, 4 and 6, or 5 and 7. He sometimes feeds when he goes for a morning nap at 10:30, and he sometimes has "afternoon tea", about 4:30. He usually, but not always, feeds when he goes down around 7:30, and then around 11pm.

I also want to ttc but no AF, and I'm already 38 so got to hop to it - but just like you, we co-sleep and have done demand bfing! Add to that, ds does not settle for his dad (who doesn't hear him wake 95% of the time anyway!)

Have you tried anything yet? How's it going for you?

Agree with some of the others that night time feeding (not bedtime feed) is thought to be the most important thing to drop if you want to conceive.
Also agree that getting your DH to settle your LO in the night is a good way to give up night feeds.
I have to admit I didnt have this problem with DS1, he was still breastfed at 19 months when I got pregnant with DS2 (periods came back at 6 months as soon as he had solids), though he didnt often feed in the night at this stage.
Have you looked at www.kellymom.com for advice?