Bottle feeding, why are we looked down on (sorry its long)

[jofeb04]

Hiya all,
My ds is now 10 months, but since he was born we fed him with a bottle. However, this wasnt by choice.
However, i noticed that other mums always looked down at me because of this.
The reason why we bottle fed him was because once he was born, a pediatrition had to look over him (for quite a while), we he didnt go stright to the beast. Due to the method that he was born under, he had a severe head ache, so bad that he wouldnt let you pick him up.
He then went to neonatel for 6 days, and i expressed for him, but it was extreamly hard, as he needed to be fed every hour on the hour to low blood suger, infection and possibly hyperthumia. The doctor asked if it was ok to bottle feed him, we said yes, as it was the best thing to do for him.
We carried on bottle feeding once we got him home, and he loved it.
However, once we were home, the midwife that visited always tried to latch him on, even though ny ds didnt want to. He got stressed, i got stressed. When my hv came, she was alot more understanding. However, I noticed that other mums were the wrost, saying all sorts of things, from "you should breast feed him, not bottle" to "you'r gonna injure your son, making him use a bottle".
Please breastfeeding mums (I dont mean any of you though!!), when you see a bottle fed baby, dont always assume its just because mum doesnt want to.

My view is that there is a lot of stuff said about breastfeeding that bottlefeeders take as being judgemental when actually it really isn't intended that way (and to the neutral observer it really wouldn't be construed as judgemental).

I started a thread about it here

I agree that breast feeding mafia is a horrible offensive term, but I am giggling at the horses head. If, while I was disasterously attempting to breast feed I had woken to find a disembodied horses head in my bed I would probably have been utterly relieved - at least it wasn't going to try and knaw my severed nipples into any further state of disrepair!

I so agree with what most people are saying - why can't we all just get along on this one? I found the decision to reclaim my life and baby and to ditch breast feeding so traumatic, I would have hated to have felt judgement from anyone!

lol Fisil! Ikwym re severed nipples. OMG It was painful.... I still winch when I think about it.

Hunkermunker - You have a point, but there are quite a few women who DO judge and do make comments that are entirely inappropriate.

Yes, Toothache - but that does swing both ways. There are some very offensive comments on this thread alone (and others I've had from people) about breastfeeding.

Also true Hunkermunker. I just wish that switching to bottles didn't feel like a selfish choice to make. One of my 'friends' (a term used loosely to describe this girl) bf her ds until he was 12mths old. Everytime we'd all go out for coffee and talk babies she would announce "I'm very proud of myself coz I've NEVER given formula milk". I feel like saying to her "so what?" would he have self-destructed if he'd had a drink of formula milk??? I think it's great that she bf him for 12mths, but does she really have to imply that we've all damaged our children in some way? That's the attitude that drives me mental.

I don't want to criticise anyone - each to their own, etc etc, but I do agree with Hunker. I breastfed each of mine, and the comments I got from bottle feeding mums were far more negative than I ever heard from b/f mums about bottles. Comments about getting the tits out, not having your body to yourself, not being able to drink, not feeding the baby enough (que??), having tits down to your knees. Somehow, these all seem acceptable things to say - amusing even - but it's not acceptable to say anything about bottle feeding.

Toothache - I can empathise with your friend. None of my children had formula milk and I am extremely proud of myself for that. It does not mean however, that I think bottle feeding mothers are damaging their children. For me it was very important and I do not see why I should have to keep it to myself when it comes up in conversation.
There are far more women out there bottle feeding than breastfeeding, so it is not as if bottlefeeding is in the minority. I breastfed and am proud of it. I will help other women to do it if I can. I do not have any thoughts about bottlefeeding mothers. However women choose to feed their babies is up to them. I personally think B/F mums have more pressure from professionals and families than bottlefeeding ones. Most people are quick to question your own ability to feed your own baby IME. As you can tell, I get hacked off with this whole debate quite frankly (am hacked off this morning - can you tell?)

I can't help feeling that pressure to breastfeed might be a good thing.

I don't know any other mums in RL that breastfed past a few weeks and most of those gave a few bottles of formula before that. That's totally up to them and to be honest I couldn't care less what,when or how someone feeds their child, but I find it strange that bottle feeding is so common.

Just not wanting to breastfeed is a perfectly valid reason, but why is it that so many mums feel like that? I don't really understand it.

There's a snide piece in today's Mail about Gwyneth Paltrow breastfeeding. She was reporting something to the police when her daughter needed feeding so she fed her - and there is some comment about her 'getting her breast out' and how the poor policemen 'didn't know where to look' - with lots of implications that she was doing something freaky, rude, inconsiderate, embarrassing and even exhibitionist. I do find this really offensive.

Well, if you will read the mail

Sad thing is my mum reads the mail and will believe their view to be true

shh!.....I do worse than that....I write for it sometimes ....but nothing like that, I hasten to add!

You can always rely on the Mail.

Funny, but I bet said policeman would have known where to look if he had seen Gwynnie's, or any other actors' breasts on the big screen, but feed a hungry baby? Shocking!!

Too right Beansprout. Tits on screen? Great! Tits for feeding babies? Disgusting!

It always seems to be the most enthusiastic gawpers at Page 3 who are most offended by nursing mothers and their babies, as well.

Funny that.

Surely that why any of us breastfeed anyway. Any opportunity to undress in public.....

Oh I agree, the only reason I ever breastfed either of my children was solely in order to indulge my exhibitionist tendencies.

Especially around policemen, who as everyone knows, are delicate flowers, easily shaken.

I hope the policeman who found himself under attack from this hungry baby has been able to negotiate a minimum of six months stress leave.

I bet he didnt even realise or care.

I do have to confess though that if breastmilk came in a bottle (without having to express) I would would buy it.

hercules -Why?

the policeman would have realised, and cared, if Gwyneth hadn't fed the baby. you can't really ignore the sound of a starving hungry child who thinks it's meal time

I meant he probably didnt actually care that she was breastfeeding the baby. I havent read the article but I would say the mail was taking it's own slant on the situation.

Did they interview him?

Tell Nestle - gap in the market - new product idea.

They must have thought of it alredy though, and dismissed it for some reason.

I meant why would you buy breast milk in a bottle, not why wouldn't the policeman care.