Bottle feeding, why are we looked down on (sorry its long)

[jofeb04]

Hiya all,
My ds is now 10 months, but since he was born we fed him with a bottle. However, this wasnt by choice.
However, i noticed that other mums always looked down at me because of this.
The reason why we bottle fed him was because once he was born, a pediatrition had to look over him (for quite a while), we he didnt go stright to the beast. Due to the method that he was born under, he had a severe head ache, so bad that he wouldnt let you pick him up.
He then went to neonatel for 6 days, and i expressed for him, but it was extreamly hard, as he needed to be fed every hour on the hour to low blood suger, infection and possibly hyperthumia. The doctor asked if it was ok to bottle feed him, we said yes, as it was the best thing to do for him.
We carried on bottle feeding once we got him home, and he loved it.
However, once we were home, the midwife that visited always tried to latch him on, even though ny ds didnt want to. He got stressed, i got stressed. When my hv came, she was alot more understanding. However, I noticed that other mums were the wrost, saying all sorts of things, from "you should breast feed him, not bottle" to "you'r gonna injure your son, making him use a bottle".
Please breastfeeding mums (I dont mean any of you though!!), when you see a bottle fed baby, dont always assume its just because mum doesnt want to.

She wasnt very comfortable and certainly didnt bf and of her own four children. Oh, my sister is infertile and my older brother has awful excema and asthma as an adult still and I have lots of allergies and am obese. Of course I have no idea if there is a connection and I wouldnt use that to argue against bottlefeeding but just to point out to the other post about breastfeeding not stopping things.

My mum has learnt a lot about bf and wished now after seeing me bf that she'd had the support to bf at the time.

She still wont hear a word said against nestles though.

Well, if we're confessing hunker, I've been known to cut a few fingers off and post them to relatives.

Well, with all those pool closures, I have helped a few people swim with the fishies...

Herc, your own fingers? If so, you need to come to me for some 'mafia lessons' hun.

I must admit, I was wondering how many fingers Hercules has access to!

No the midwife did not have shares in Nestle, she just had a modicom of common sense, compassion and intelligence.

Lockets, I too reserve that right

But I also want to be able to give mafia lessons to Herc. Oh, the agony of choice.

i too find that i am looked down on for bottlefeeding and it really p*es me off.

by the way well said colditzmum at the top of the thread.

i dont have a so called "valid" reason not to breastfeed - to be honest i neverr eally wanted to, but i gave it a go, and dd wasnt really interedsted - but because i wasnt really interested in breasfeeding, that is probably why! and if my heart wasnt in it, it wouldnt have been a very nice experoence for dd, and i wouldnt have enjoyed it, and my relationship with her, im quite certain, wouldnt be as wonderful as it is now had i felt that way.

i thought it would be really easy, and had every intention of doing it - i didnt buy any bottlefeeding equipment "just incase" as it never occured to me. but the minute i decided not to breastfeed i was a different woman, i was so happy and dd became much happier and everything was wonderful. i just wish i had made the decision before giving birth, as i feel the first day could have been happier all round.

i have nothing against breastfeeding - its just not for me. i wasnt breastfed and i turned out ok. and i dont think people who say that you cant bond with a bottlefed baby are correct as i have a wonderfully strong bond with my daughter - as does her father who has been completely involved and sharing all feeds ever since, which he (and dd) love!

i just really despise pepl who think you got to have a valid reason not to bf, or look down at you or when you see people they say "are you not feeding her yourself?!" in disgust. well, no i am not feeding her myself and im bloody proud of it!!

sorry - long rant!!

To be honest I couldn't give a toss what people think of me, regarding how I choose to feed etc.
But then I don't really care how they feed their children either.
As long as they're happy and content who has the right to make us feel otherwise.

As long as they're happy and content, who has the right to make us feel otherwise?
Sounds better!

A midwife who describes bf information as "mania" and "propaganda", intelligent?
Sounds like she needs some retraining.

I am not at all against bottlefeeding, I am though pro an informed choice. I am though pro breastfeeding my own children and am not concerned how others feed their own children. What concerns me is that there is an awful lot of incorrect information being peddled by health professionals.

If I'd have listened to my health professionals I would never have managed to bf either of my kids.

It does upset me though when breastfeeding supporters are refered to as the "mafia" or "nazis".

I would never refer to women who bottlefeed as the mafia. It would be downright ludicrous and ignorant of the facts.

I've just read this thread and I have to say where did you meet these other mums?!
I mean what sort of a comment is "your going to injure your son" Did you laugh hystericly in her face?!!!!
Like you I could'nt BF, I tried but it wasn't happening. Poor dd was starving in hospital and the midwives told me they could'nt discharge us until dd had a feed successfully so at that I gave her a bottle as BF was a no go. The midwife said she'll probably only take 1/2 oz, she had 6oz! So bottle feeding was most certainly the right decsion for us.
People like that should keep their s*^!~y comments to themselves!

Just read through thread.
I bottle fed my two,not that I wanted to,and was pretty gutted when I couldn't manage to get it right the first or second time!(will try next time too)
Just wanted to point out the person who wrote 'bf mafia' actually said she breast fed her children, she was only joking.
Most bottle feeding mums I know think breast feeding is great,but it wasn't best for them.

But Kymbo, Bobbiem (a bottlefeeder) also used the term in a derogatory way. That's why the latest posts have happened on this thread. Having a go at breastfeeders in this way is deeply unpleasant.

Doesn't matter who said it, it's still unnecessary and offensive Just shows I wasn't trying to dig at any one feeding group in particular

I think that the majority of bottlefeeders don't feel this hatred towards breastfeeders - but those who do are very vocal and snidey about it. I've been on the receiving end of this very particular kind of vitriol and it's not nice.

And the majority or breastfeeders couldn't give a damn how other mothers feed their baby but those who do....

Again, very true.

I find it amazing that people make comments about other peoples decsions when it comes to parenting. It's hard enough as it is without thinking whether your being frowned upon for not BF! On the other hand there will always be some people that feel the need to voice their opinion on something they strongly believe in. They should do it in a friendlier way mind!
I do agree though BF mafia is quite harsh!

I bf my son for 6 months. wouldn't say I enjoyed it exactly but I felt I was doing the best thing for him adn that kept me going at it.. I don't understand why people would choose not to Bf if they were capable of it. hvaing said that I defend any ones right to do what they think best & what works for them wouldn't call myself a part of teh mafia though.

I don't think anyone would choose to call themselves part of the breastfeeding mafia - I find it a rather unpleasant term!

Why do women that bottle feed feel the need to have explain why???? It's noone elses business, just like I wouldn't feel the need to explain why I chose disposable nappies over washable.... or why I choose a certain brand of baby wipes over another.

If bottlefeeding really was so terrible then there would be more children not thriving than there are thriving... and that's not the case!!

I bf both my children at the beginning. 1st time I lasted a week before choosing to switch to the bottle.... either that or lose my sanity completely (pain, bleeding nipple, unsatisfied hungry baby...). 2nd time I lasted 4 weeks. I wanted my body back and found it very hard to bf with an older child to look after as well.

Both my children are healthy, happy contented children.

Mothers should be encouraged to breastfeed, not terrified into it by health professionals and other Mothers! When I was bf I was told by my HV that it was the best thing for the baby and would guard against certain allergies, asthma etc etc (of course that's true). But whenever I switched to formula she couldn't stop telling me how wonderful formula milk is now... and how close it is to breastmilk and that formula fed babies need fed almost as often as bf coz is as easily digestable and so on!

So it can't be that bad.

I can't stand the judgemental attitude. It's the same with C-sections. People who have natural births (as I did with my 2) seem to look down on those who have a C-section. I have lots of friends who've had sections and they are made to feel so guilty about it (not by me). Some women can't give birth naturally, just as some women can't bf successfully. Doesn't mean they should be judged by anyone else, or feel the need to have to explain their choices.