tomorrow on the matthew wright show, bottle feeding guilt

[alright]

last bit of the show promoting tomorrows he says "are all these pro breastfeeding campaigns making mothers who bottle feed feel guilty" we discuss this tomorrow.

[TinkerbellesMum]

Babieseverywhere, yup. I had trickles before then, never able to donate more than a couple of mls at a time, suddenly after two weeks I managed to overtake her supply. (She was 31 weeks and born under GA Section so it was going to take some time).

itwasntme, you've missed the point from not being able to see the programme.

[alright]

guilt is an emotion that other people cant MAKE us feel but that we burdern ourselves with, ultimately if someone feels guily its thier chip on thier shoulder, perhaps they never reconciled themselves with the decision THEY made. you cant not say the advantages of breastfeeding just in case someones insecurity draws up negative emotions.

[Nancy66]

If you watch the programme without an agenda then I think you come away thinking that they gave both sides of the story.

They gave accurate statistics, they had both a formula feeding and a breastfeeding mother contribute. they showed a pro breastfeeding ad. they had a doctor on to give advice.

I think the fact that you can't promote formula is an important issue. Why shouldn't it be discussed on a debate style programme?

[PeachyHas4BoysAndLovesIt]

Itwasn'tme, what you experienced was not in any way a failure by you! You tried- you did your best- what else can anyone do? Nothng, zero. You did so well by trying so hard- that can't have been easy and I really do applaud you for that.

What we are angry about here certainly isn't mothers, however they choosde to feed. It's about misinformation, biased rubbish being given out by uninformed people who by being on tv are sadly seen as experts by some people.

you should feel proud of yourself for being such a dedicated mother. bf doesn't always work out but it would a lot more often if people are given access to the right info and support- and that would imo include support for those who genuinely cannot bf (read my post further down, i feel awfil i didnt cotton on to why i couldnt bf ds1, he had lost over 1lb- bad when you were born at 5lbs 5oz- when i had to give in)

[TinkerbellesMum]

I disagree. The panel didn't seem that keen on BFing, Matthew argued with anyone who did BF, there was a lot made of his and Biggin's mothers who have carried the guilt for years, the BFing mother didn't speak up for herself and was bottle feeding, Matthew made a lot about he couldn't question "breast is best"...

It was about does "breast is best" make formula feeding mothers feel guilty and they succeeeded at discussing that point.

[wonderstuff]

I don't thing MW is ever objective, normally I agree with him (eek) but the idea that there should be less promotion of bf so women who can't don't feel bad? Sorry but thats rubbish, I also think that his rubbishing of the IQ research based on no information whatsoever, just his own gut feeling was unprofessional

[alright]

i think the middle class/working class thing was tested by one sibling being bf and one being ff from the same family so nurture could not be brought into it as both were raised in the same way

[wonderstuff]

Also I remember they found that genetics were involved, not everyone's iq is raised by bf, only the 90% of people who have this gene. I would be interested to find out more about the obesity research, surely that must be more socio-economic??

[BabiesEverywhere]

TinkerbellesMum, Flipping heck, that is a long time...respect for you pumping and nursing all that time before you could see the milk.

[TinkerbellesMum]

Thank you.

Funnily enough it's a lot of guilt that kept me going. I felt I had let her down by a. going into prem labour (I know I couldn't control that, but it was linked to my last prem labour) and b. because I didn't make a fuss about it till it was late (same as the first which is why I feel guilt over a.) - I didn't want to let her down by letting her stay on formula. Fortunately though I was in a really good supportive hospital that didn't let mums go home unable to breastfeed and then sent neonatal MWs to their home three times a week who are wonderfully supportive. In the hospital they praised every drop of milk and made a thing about giving it to her so I never felt like it wasn't good enough.

[hunkermunker]

[fabsmum]

If you watch the programme without an agenda then I think you come away thinking that they gave both sides of the story.

No - this is just wrong.

It was a VERY unbalanced programme.

"They gave accurate statistics"

They mentioned at the outset that 98% of women can breastfeed, but completely failed to mention the more important fact, which is that 90% of women in the UK who stop breastfeeding before 6 months would have liked to have breastfed longer. In other words - they completely failed to point out that there is a MASSIVE problem with breastfeeding support in this country. That's the real story.

"they had both a formula feeding and a breastfeeding mother contribute. they showed a pro breastfeeding ad. they had a doctor on to give advice."

Yes - unfortunately MW spent the entire feature making stupid, sniping comments, constantly insinuating that there a lack of empirical evidence that breastfeeding is best for babies, rolling his eyes about the ban on infant formula advertising without giving anyone the chance to address the issues this raises. And WHY have a GP on to talk about breastfeeding - they're hardly the experts on this subject are they? Why didn't they have someone on the show who was a breastfeeding expert? The probreastfeeding ad was used to make a critical point about breastfeeding promotion. The breastfeeding mum was inarticulate and was BOTTLEFEEDING!

"I think the fact that you can't promote formula is an important issue. Why shouldn't it be discussed on a debate style programme? "

Yes - it is. If he was going to raise this issue he should have given someone knowledgeable on the subject a chance to challenge his views, but he didn't. His comments throughout the programme served to reinforce people's misunderstanding of this topic.

[suzi2]

I watched it. It wasn't very balanced at all. There really wasn't much support for the pro breastfeeding adverts. I was actually a little confused as to who the bf mum was too.

I can't say I was a huge fan of Matthew Wright, but I think he was particularly rude in this piece.

They certainly made it look as though a lot of women couldn't breastfeed when we all know on here that isn't the case. They also made it seem like an impossible struggle. Which for many it is, but for many it isn't.

What they failed to address is breastfeeding promotion and it's purpose. They failed to mention the importance of breastfeeding support from professionals, proper professionals, not MWs and HVs with limited or no training.

I really don't think that most formula feeders, who may or may not feel guilty when they see adverts for BF, would want them taken off the air. I think most people I know who tried BF and switched to formula would rather than that bf message was 'out there' so that it was more normal and there was more support for women like them who just couldn't manage for whatever reason.

[missorinoco]

sorry, what is "bitty"?

[suzi2]

"bitty" is a phrase that comes from a Little Britain (TV comedy) sketch. Basically a grown man is out with his girlfriend and parents for a meal to discuss their mariage (or some similar situation, different each episode) and the man starts hassling his mother for "bitty". She then breastfeeds him.

[BouncingTurtle]

I'm so glad I didn't watch this, sounds like it was as bad as i thought would be.

Itwasntme - do NOT feel guilty!! You did a wonderful job, you tried your very hardest and didn't work for you. No-one is saying that everyone can breastfeed, just that it is a much smaller percentage than MW was trying to make out.

(BTW I'm at Tink's mum quoting me!

[ChocolateHobnob]

He really really wound me up; found myself furious with him and his stupid 'I am a journalist and I can see that surveys showing breast is best aren't empirically sound'. Yeah, right. And the comment about sticky yucky milk!!!

Also the whole thing about women being pressured by midwives to bf. He needs to come here - in my hospital, they were handing out bottles of Cow and Gate before, rather than when, being asked to. Indeed I suspected they were secret agents of Cow and Gate...

[wonderstuff]

Yes that i am a journalist line was awful, journalist, not scientist, its not surveys its scientific research.. I really didn't understand what he wanted done, was the suggestion to stop breast is best campaim?

[pinata]

matthew wright is a complete arrogant twat. Of course he'd be pro formula, as he is quite clearly the kind of man who thinks the primary purpose of boobs is to make men happy, bf is just a secondary unimportant function.

watching this morning's show made me angry, depsite the fact i am one of the people who is "made to feel bad" by bf ads

the fact is, i COULD have bf, but a combination of being badly prepared ("bf? OF COURSE i'll be able to do THAT. That's the least of my worries"), a traumatic birth and huge pain without any idea of where to get support made me stop

I think getting and keeping bf visible and making it fully accpeted is hugely important. Yes, i feel bad - but so what? If me feeling bad = more mothers givng bf a go who otherwise wouldn't have it is surely worth it?

[missorinoco]

ah, now it makes sense, thankyou suzi2. (thought it was another version of bitchy, and couldn't work out how that fitted in.)

[TinkerbellesMum]

I just remembered something that stupid GP said! Biggins asked if BFing hurt and she listed all the most painful things like they're normal! She didn't even say that it's a sign of something being wrong (isn't that what all pain is supposed to be anyway Mrs GP?) and that they are easily fixed or that not everyone gets pain.

[TinkerbellesMum]

WTF????????

I think I need to stop watching this show!