Would you stop breastfeeding in my situation?

[Cinai2]

DS is 3 months old, breastfeeding was never smooth sailing. I tried everything to boost supply during the first few weeks but midwife and lactation consultant eventually came to the conclusion that I’m physically not able to produce more milk. I’ve topped up with formula since day 5 due to him losing too much weight.

Up until now, I still gave DS the breast followed by a bottle of formula. He takes 150ml per bottle feed 6 times a day, so I can only assume that he just gets a few drops of breast milk.
since last week, he refuses the breast altogether, he’d latch on, then start to scream until I give him the bottle. I tried to offer the breast after the bottle or in between feeds, but he refuses.
Would you stop breastfeeding in this situation?

Crock of shit.

www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/bottle-feeding/bottle-feeding-your-baby/feeding-on-demand/

www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-real-link-between-breastfeeding-and-preventing-obesity-2018101614998

Research is still ongoing and won't complete for years yet but for obese mothers (and mothers who were obese) many NHS trusts (including mine) already use paced and responsive feeding lessons as a way to prevent childhood obesity. Because it often is the learned feeding patterns in infancy that can cause problems later. We want to roll it out locally to African origin and Indian origin mums too because we've found that they're more likely to have obese kids even they're slim - specifically because there's a lot of pressure on how much they drink vs 'listening' to a baby's appetite.

3.months is a weird time for BFing because babies get nosy and don't want to be turned into the breast away from everything else! This sounds like really normal behaviour for a BF baby. You could persevere, you could drop day time feeds and offer the breast at bedtime/overnight (3 month olds often feed much better then when it's dark and quiet), or you can just stop. It's ok if you want to. You've done so well.

Those who stopped… did your DH have an opinion? Obviously I know that it’s not his decision, but my DH is strongly convinced of the benefits of breastfeeding and was pushy so far. He’d not be supportive of me stopping, I know that I can just do it, but it adds another difficulty to my situation.

My DH was supportive of whatever I decided. It's your body, your DH has a right to express an opinion but the decision is yours.
Bottle feeding won't harm your DC.

No, my DH has never put any pressure on me with regard to infant feeding either way. Actually thinking about it, it's possibly the only part of parenting that he's never had any real input into in the sense that his position has always been "whatever and however you want, I will support". Which makes sense given he can't breastfeed. I don't think it's reasonable for dad's to push it, they can't possibly know what it's like so they have no idea how they'd feel if it were them. He should respect and support you however you choose to feed your baby.

If your baby is preferring the bottle to the breast, I'm afraid your choice is either exclusively pumping, which is a tremendous amount of work and could be for little amounts of breastmilk if your supply is low- or move to formula.
My husband wanted me to breastfeed so he did everything he could to support me but he would have respected my choice either way and would not have pressurised me.

No my DH was not pushy on this. Not his body, so he had no say regardless.

I would give up in your situation, definitely. I was in a similar situation to you at four months with my first. My DH also encouraged me to keep going longer with combi feeding as I don't think he understood the toll it was taking on me physically and mentally, but as soon as I stopped he realised it was for the best and me and DS were much happier.

My partner says I can stop whenever I want. He shares the bottle feeds at evenings and weekends. Baby is currently combination fed and will be weaned fully to formula by January (my choice).

In fact HE gave the first formula top up at day 2 when I was crying with pain and exhaustion. He is a practical person who thinks we need to compromise to find solutions that work for me AND the baby.

I'm sorry your husband isn't being as supportive of your choices as he could/should be.

You get the gold medal for trying
I gave up after 3 days and for my second one week
I felt the need explain to everyone how hard I’d tried
please do what suits you and shake off the shame guilt and urge to explain and apologise xx

this comment is senseless it is largely inconsequential to the rest of their life.

I was in your position and stopped at 2 months. Would never get myself in that position again; it was crap. I’d stop.

My OH could see it was destroying my mental health and supported it. Sane mother much more important than a tit.

Your dh doesn't have the boobs so has no input. You're mainly formula feeding anyway. Baby is unlikely to be getting more than a tiny bit of breast milk from you now.