Would you stop breastfeeding in my situation?

[Cinai2]

DS is 3 months old, breastfeeding was never smooth sailing. I tried everything to boost supply during the first few weeks but midwife and lactation consultant eventually came to the conclusion that I’m physically not able to produce more milk. I’ve topped up with formula since day 5 due to him losing too much weight.

Up until now, I still gave DS the breast followed by a bottle of formula. He takes 150ml per bottle feed 6 times a day, so I can only assume that he just gets a few drops of breast milk.
since last week, he refuses the breast altogether, he’d latch on, then start to scream until I give him the bottle. I tried to offer the breast after the bottle or in between feeds, but he refuses.
Would you stop breastfeeding in this situation?

I think the final say on this is yours, not DH's. Not his boobs!

That’s a little dramatic. OP is perfectly entitled to stop if she wishes.

I stopped at 16 weeks because l had to go back to work, good old 90's maternity pay. Honestly it's fine to stop if you want to, breastfeeding was easy for me but if it had been hard l would have stopped earlier.
Both my kids adults now and really seem to have no worse health problems than thier friends that were breastfed for years.

And yes, I would.

Oh my goodness, this sounds really stressful OP. I am a big believer in breastfeeding and supporter of people breastfeeding if they want to... And it sounds like you really don't want to breastfeed any more. Of course that's ok! Switch to formula and your husband should be asking himself why he's pushing something that you're finding so stressful. If it were me, perhaps I would keep one breastfeed a day for a cuddle, but only if you and baby enjoy it.

It's the wrong question. Whatever you want to do in this situation is right for you. It doesn't matter what anyone what did.

I gave up at three months in very similar circumstances to you. It was a game changer. My baby and I became so much happier overnight. He went from being a crying, angry little thing to being the most content baby I know within days.
My DH, who was very pro breastfeeding and also thought I should persevere, now looks back and thinks he was wrong - because he too has seen how much happier our lovely little formula fed boy is.

When you Combi feed, for whatever reason, they often get to a point where they show a clear preference for one method or the other and it sounds as though your DS has.

BFing should stop when either of you wants to and it sounds as though it could be that he has.

You could treat it like a Nursing Strike, if you wanted to but it sounds as though you've done quite a bit already to continue BFing.

To answer your question, in your shoes I think I would move over to fully FF

Sorry I've just read your latest update.

Your DH's wishes do not trump the wishes of you and your LO.

Breast Hypoplasia is rare and it sounds as though you've done an awful lot to get to this stage.

St the moment it seems to be making both you and DS unhappy. Your DHs role is to support you. Personally I wouldn't be happy if he was trying to insist I BF when you both want to stop

I'm a lactation consultant and a nurse. Just because you have less breast tissue doesn't mean you produce less milk because- there is a process we need to follow to decide whether a baby is receiving sufficient breastmilk or not ie weighing nappies, following growth curves (and not dropping off the chart). In some cases we even ask mums to express for a whole day to see how much milk they produce and what the calorie intake is. I also advise never go to give more than 20ml in one feed when using a bottle.

If a midwife and a lactation consultant have both told you to top up (and have followed the process correctly) then you definitely won't be producing enough and the only real benefit of breastfeeding is comfort (not nutritional) to both you and baby. If they haven't followed this process and you want to keep breastfeeding then you need to speak to a lactation consultant that specialises in restarting feeding after 12 weeks.

Same!!! It’s hard for people to understand if they’ve not had the issue of actually having so little milk! I did everything, consultants, midwives (who were great), was sent for tests, tried domperidone, set an alarm to pump while my baby slept through). It was exhausting, mentally awful. The day I stopped was when I started to live and enjoy my baby finally. I only regret not stopping sooner. My child has thrived and our relationship os beautiful.

Have you training in IGT? Because just giving 20ml per feed is very dangerous advice for women with Insufficient glandular tissue or hypoplasia

OP I have Insufficient glandular tissue, diagnosed by an IBCLC and if you are the same you've done a brilliant job to get thus far. I combined fed (obviously) but stopped at 3 months as the feeds were getting bigger and my tiny supply less useful. But I focus on what I did, not what I didn't. If you do want to keep going you could use a supplemental feeder at the breast but honestly you've given your baby a huge gift already. And if you have genuine hypoplasia no amount of the usual advice will help. I did it ALL

I bf for over 3 years for each of my youngest 2 kids, so fairly pro-breastfeeding and id still say stop if it's not working for you and your baby.

Youve many many choices ahead to make that will help your child be healthier. Bf is just one and they've already got the liquid gold at the start for a great wee boost. You've done great. If you want to stop do. Pump if you want to try, but I tried loads and never was successful (few ml at most!) and it was not a reflection on my milk production levels.

@Clockgoesback2 i'm talking about paced feeding and I'd say 20ml per go is about right for the first three months. You basically feed 20ml in one go, pause, burp, take a short break, then another 20ml. It's possible to feed a baby 100+ml of milk this way and still not cause breast aversion.

The 20ml at a time then break is ideally what everyone should be doing, even if not breastfeeding, as it can help prevent obesity. It's not exclusive to breastfeeding mums. In fact in some areas (including mine) mums with a bmi of over 35 will get a referral for help with paced feeding even when not breastfeeding to prevent obesity.

I would in your situation, it just seems like too much stress and your baby seems to be preferring the bottle so it would be very hard to get him to accept the breast aswell as trying to increase supply would be like a full time job at this point

Definitely stop op. You have done amazingly persisting until now. Baby probably isn't getting enough breast milk to have any benefit anyway.

Feeding for the first 3 months is great, please don’t feel bad. Even breast for the first few days is really helpful for babies.

Of course stop. Your DS is upset when you offer the breast when he is hungry. He will thrive on formula. I also never produced enough milk (no matter what some do gooders always proclaiming that the more you breastfeed the more the milk will come!).
Both DDs were bottle fed and DGS3 is thriving more on the bottle than DGS1 and 2 were on the breast.

The 20ml at a time then break is ideally what everyone should be doing, even if not breastfeeding, as it can help prevent obesity where do you get these ridiculous deas from? TikTok?
Both DDs were bottle fed and as 40+ year adults have always been slim and never overweight, let alone obese.

Yes i would. I also had trouble and was exclusively pumping which was a nightmare, but really wanted the permission to stop that you mentioned. Medical professionals will not give you that permission, but once i made the decision myself i felt a huge weight lifted and i never once regretted it. DD is now 6 and very healthy.

@Cinai2 I think you need to reframe it - you are not “giving up” as that can sometimes imply failure. You are simply making the right choice for yourself and your child. You are doing what you think is best and so that makes you a brilliant mother. Good luck!

Yes - I did in pretty much the same circumstances. DC was fine and it was a massive relief for me.

God yeah, but then I couldn't wait to get my kids off the breast so wouldn't have needed much of an excuse! Well done - I managed 6 months combined feeding but it was hard.

Absolutely yes I would