Told I ruined my BF chances at 8 days PP

[Copenhagener]

Hi all,

I’m desperately hoping someone can help me.

I gave birth last Monday via c-section. Baby struggled to breathe so I could not do skin to skin for a few hours while she was on a c-pap machine.

Tried to establish breastfeeding at the hospital for the next 3 days. She would not latch at all.

I asked if I could start pumping at the hospital to secure my supply on Wednesday evening. I managed to get a small flow going, which reassured me - but it was only 10-20ml per pumping. By this point we had to give formula because she’d lost 12% of her birthweight in 3 days.

Discharged Thursday with a warning about the weight loss, and gave her formula with some pumped milk - managed to get up to 100ml a pumping session so was feeling quite positive (pumping every 3 hours). I continued trying to get her to latch, but she couldn’t, even with help from a consultant and a health visitor. She has a high palate and a very recessed bottom lip.

On Saturday, baby was suddenly admitted to NICU because her breathing started to fail. I was in total distress and crying so much. I still carried on trying to pump every 3 hours, but my output immediately fell to 5ml every session. I was told it was because I’d gotten too stressed and my cortisol was too high to produce milk.

We were discharged today, and now I can’t even get 2ml a pumping session. I’ve been doing lots of skin-to-skin and trying to get her to latch still, with no success. I’m basically 98% formula feeding now. It’s horrible pumping and pumping and looking at an empty jar.

I spoke to a lactation consultant at the hospital, and she said I’ve lost my chance to breastfeed now and the window is closed as we’re at 8 days post partum and I should’ve been referred for help within 24 hours of her failing to feed. I did ask for help
but the nurses just kept trying to put her on my nipples the same way over and over again. I’m so angry at myself for getting so upset at the NICU that I ruined my supply by spiking my cortisol levels.

Has anyone else ever had this situation? Can I come back from this, or do I need to accept that I am destined for formula feeding now? I didn’t realise quite how small the window was - and trusted the nurses to help me: I’m so sad.

I'm sorry if you've said and I missed it, but have they checked thoroughly for tongue tie? I am asking because high arched palate is often associated with tongue tie. Normally when the baby is developing in the womb the tongue's movement helps the palate to flatten and widen. A baby with a tongue tie can't lift the tongue to the roof of the mouth so the palate stays high and arched.

This was the case for my DS2, he couldn't latch well enough to transfer milk and lost a lot of weight initially. We had his tongue tie divided and his latch improved enough to be able to transfer milk, but it was still a struggle for some weeks due to the palate shape. As he got bigger things got easier, his palate has improved and so has his latch. We're now EBF but I can't lie, it's been hard going and there's no way we'd be at this point now if we hadn't had the tongue tie sorted.

This was the same in our case as well. DD2 had a very high arched palate and a 90% tongue tie. The NHS missed it until 8weeks old when a private lactation consultant found it. She couldn't even drink from a bottle teat easily, let alone bf. We never got to ebf but did manage to combi feed for a good while after the TT was divided.

If you've no intention to breastfeed then there's little point in pumping. It's time consuming and hard work. Your better off using the time to heal or enjoy your baby.

All the studies show bf bottle fed babies come out the same as formula babies not breast fed babies.

Also we're you given fluids during/ before your section? They can inflate the birth weight and cause it to seem like there's a bigger weight loss.