I hate breastfeeding - anyone else?

[KinderEggg]

I thought it would be easy. But it’s not.
If I don’t have baby on me, I have shields on me or a pump. I smell of milk. I don’t like the clothes I’m wearing. I don’t like I can’t share the burden with my husband.

It can’t just be me?

I hate it too. They say it gets easier but it's meant that at 3 months, I still haven't had a full night of sleep. Giving a bottle instead of his 3am feed so I can get some sleep is not an option as my breasts get so full of milk, I'd wake up in pain and a pool of milk anyway (it happens every time baby decides to sleep a longer stretch).

It's overwhelming and all consuming and the worst decision i ever made.

I think some women cope better with lack of sleep, maybe they can nap in the day and "sleep when the baby sleeps". I can't cope and I can't sleep. I can never go back to sleep after a feed, ever.

Breastfeeding has ruined my experience with my baby.

If ever have it in me to have another baby, they'll be bottle fed from the get go.

Given the fairly small difference between breastfed and formula fed babies in countries with access to clean water I often wonder why mums put themselves through so much in order, to the detriment of themselves, to continue breastfeeding?

My 1st was ff from the off, she was premature, badly jaundiced and super sleepy. We were on a strict feeding plan and she still took a very long time to gain weight.

My 2nd had formula in the delivery room due to gestational diabetes. She downed 30ml 30 minutes after birth and that made my mind up pretty swiftly to not be massively fussed. I tried, she wasn't interested.

Don't kill yourself over something that, in the long run, is pretty inconsequential in terms of the bigger picture of development.

Anecdotally, my 1st DD has one of the best immune systems of her peers (from nct/friends with similar age kids/school) and has a stomach of steel (she avoided norovirus even when her dad and I were down).

Formula isn't poison. If breastfeeding is causing YOU harm. Mental or physical then stop. There's nothing to be guilty about given a bottle.

And formula feeding isn't faffy. Get your partner to wash bottles. Get bottles you can sterilize in the microwave. Get a perfect prep. Use ready made formula. Piece of piss in comparison to my (limited) experience of breastfeeding.

That's your experience. My experience was that it was a faff and easier to breastfeed once I got initially past the really hard first couple of months. Was better with my daughter. Easier to lob the boob out. Anywhere.

Also, how they are fed doesn't determine the immune system. Me and my siblings and I were formula fed, and we were poorly alllll the time

With my son when he was a newborn, I had gastroenteritis. He never caught it. He got the antibodies that prevented it. My milk turned green was pretty awesome, although I freaked out until I realised in what it was

@teatoast8 I said anecdotally. And you proved my point in that the way you feed doesn't have much impact on immunity.

and i was just providing an alternative point of view as most of the posts called formula feeding faffy, which I disagree with.

I just wish the stigma of formula feeding would bugger off. There's so many posts of women beating themselves up over the "failure" to breastfeed or putting themselves under so much pressure that they can't enjoy the first few months of motherhood. So offering a point of view from the other side to help alleviate guilt.

And yes I know breastfeeding rates are dire in the uk but this doesn't mean the stigma of formula feeding isn't there. I am fine with my decision on feeding but that doesn't mean I didn't cry my eyes out with my 1st baby thinking I'd failed her by formula feeding. Thankfully experience and time has meant I dint feel the same the 2nd time round.

Providing your baby has no issues like colic, tongue tie etc and you have no issues with getting baby latched on, breastfeeding does get much easier- you are still in the early days. I hated it to start with, I remember googling ‘is breastfeeding worth it’ many a time in the early hours whilst feeding! In the end I loved it, breastfed my first until he was almost 2 and currently breastfeeding my second DC. One thing that put me off switching to formula is that you cannot feed on demand with a bottle, so if they are crying and fussing but not due a feed yet you’re stuck, whereas with breastfeeding you can’t overfeed them, so if they’re crying you can stick them straight on to settle them, no matter how recently they’ve just fed. Even if they’re not crying out of hunger, 9 times out of 10 feeding them will settle them anyway because sometimes they breastfeed just for comfort. If they’re ill, your milk adjusts to help fight whatever infection they have and again to comfort them. If they’re upset over teething, feeding can comfort them. If they’re tired, feeding them can send them to sleep. The list goes on. Obviously the flip side of this is that baby is always dependent on you and you can end up feeding them a lot!

I wouldn’t assume that baby will sleep better if you switch to formula, if this is a factor you are basing your decision on, you may be disappointed. I think sleep is just random and every baby is different. My friend’s two DC were both formula fed and both were/are horrendous sleepers, whereas my eldest who was breastfed slept through since 10 weeks old and still sleeps amazingly now as a toddler. My second is almost 1 and is yet to sleep through. Also breastfed. So you just never know!

As you can see from this thread already, everyone’s experiences are different. Ultimately, I would just base the decision on how you as a mum feel and what you think is best for you. Just go with what you want to do and enjoy your baby whichever way you decide to feed them.

Absolutely awful

Mastitis, thrush and horrendous cracked nipples

DS wouldn't stop screaming, he was starving

Had a big bottle of formula, slept through the night

Don't let the breastfeeding pressure groups get to you, op

Absolutely no-one cares about bf when your kids are older. Not one person mentions it. It's not important

I’m finding it so so stressful and I’m definitely not enjoying being a mum because of it

^

You have enough pressure as it is, being a new mother

Do yourself a favor and use formula. No point being a martyr

You absolutely can feed on demand with a bottle and it's actually what's recommended now as opposed to rigid, scheduled feedings. Provided you are pace feeding and holding the bottle level so the baby has to actively suck and it's not just flowing down them, they will only drink if hungry. It's very difficult to overfeed a bottle fed baby, trust me! Mine certainly lets me know when she doesn't want it or has had enough!

Fair enough, I didn’t know that was the new advice. But my point was that you can breastfeed to settle a baby/stop them crying even if they’re not hungry. It’s for comfort, not just for food, so in my experience it has made my life easier.

Whilst true (and it was a great comfort for my breastfed baby), bottle fed babies get a similar comfort from cuddles instead. Certainly I didn't find it more difficult to comfort my bottle fed baby than my breastfed one.