I hate breastfeeding - anyone else?

[KinderEggg]

I thought it would be easy. But it’s not.
If I don’t have baby on me, I have shields on me or a pump. I smell of milk. I don’t like the clothes I’m wearing. I don’t like I can’t share the burden with my husband.

It can’t just be me?

Have you had any support? You could call the national breastfeeding helpline for free and talk it all over.

Why do you need to pump? I hate pumping, so didn’t.

4 weeks is very early, it’s gets easier for most after week 6. Using nipple shields suggests things are not going so easily? Highly recommend getting some support, on the helpline or even better at group, to have your positioning and latch checked.

For me it was a dream after the first few months, being able to feed lying down in bed is so relaxing and easy compared to faffing around with bottles and getting up in the night. Safe bed sharing is the best thing ever. Comfort on tap for teething and illness etc. Convenient for being out and about, fantastic sleep aid etc.

Also, it’s not all or nothing, you could look into mixed feeding but then you’re back to gaffing around with bottles.

Magnesium spray - think it was 12 spritzes on the back of the knees is a very strange but highly successful cure for breastfeeding aversion. It doesn't sound like that's the issue but worth a go.

How old is your baby? The beginning can be absolutely brutal but it does get easier and is less labour intensive when it settles down.
Breastmilk is an awesome cure all for all
Manner of eye and skin ailments etc.

If you can find a way to cope without nipple shields and get more confident in different positions it definitely stops being a faff after the initial settling in.

Your partner could also give a formula top up now and then to take the pressure off.

Or obviously you can do whatever works for you. From my own personal experience it was a hard road starting but I don't have the executive function required for the bottle feeding - sterilising - buying milk - I'm funny about foods too. As they get bigger being able to pop them on and half doze in bed with them was vastly preferable to getting up and prepping bottles but each to their own.

I had so much help from the peer breastfeeding support group at my local surestart centre and friends who were also ebfing teaching me nursing positions - like side lying - whilst I got the hang of it.

But you must do what works for you. Let OH five a top up maybe whilst you catch up on some
Sleep. We were given a box of pre-made formula in glass bottles with teats so didn't have to invest in sterilisers and bottles and the like and gave a moment of much needed respite

I absolutely hated it! I BF first for about 4 months (last 2 months combi feeding) and second child more
Like 6 weeks. It made me
Feel dreadful, an explosion of feelings that I hated and it affected my MH. After finishing BF with second child I found out about DMER, I'm positive I had this

The two and a half miserable weeks I tried to BF DC1 were a major contributor to my PPD and if I had my time again I wouldn't even try it. DC2 was straight onto formula and I have no regrets.

Tried it
It was awful - trapped on the sofa for hours on end with a baby who never seemed to be satisfied and constantly cranky. Stopped at 6 weeks and went to formula and OMG is was transformational! Suddenly I had a happy baby - he had a bottle which takes about 20 mins and then there was time to play and have a potter around the garden and do stuff before he had a nap. No more endless crying baby, no more being welded to the sofa. Bliss!

I’ve had tongue tie, weight issues, top ups and all the anxiety around that. It’s really affected my confidence. She was jaundice and never told me when she was hungry:
At least with a bottle I can offer it every 3 hours and know how much she drank.
The original first few weeks has really affected my mental health.
DS1 was bottle fed and I didn’t experience any anxiety around it but that was out of my control.

Sounds like a rocky start. It will get easier if BF is what you wanted to do. How many weeks was she born at?

39 weeks

The formula one
But that's just my two. Its just a coincidence. The health difference in an individual child, in the Uk, is absolutely tiny, and not long lasting. Breast is great if it's working out and everyone is enjoying it, but it's not something with martyring yourself over. Your baby will thrive regardless.

The first six weeks with my first I hated it. I think it's the hardest thing I ever did.

Then it clicked, my supply regulated. It became easy. I breastfed into toddlerhood.

You're in the trenches now, but it's not like this for long usually.

I found it much easier than bottles long term. No extra washing, no prepping, no packing them when you're having a day out. When my baby was making a fuss it was easy to settle them because they would always take a breast and would usually get them to sleep, so less whining and crying as they got bigger. I think it helped their immunity when they started nursery (but who knows?)

Nothing wrong with formula either. If you've hit your limit then don't feel guilt.

Are you sure this baby doesn’t have tongue tie? As you mentioned shields and pumping.

What’s up with the clothes? You can wear your normal clothes when bf except dresses.

I’m BF my 5 month old and I have such a love/hate relationship with it. I’m trying to make it until 6 months. I just want to do the right thing by her and give her the best start, I was desperate to be able to do it while I was pregnant and didn’t think I’d be able to. I don’t know anyone in real life who managed to do it past a month. I thought I’d just love it and sometimes I do but I’ve ended up with a non sleeping baby who feeds every 1-2 hours of the day and I feel like BF is so much to blame for that and I am a bit bitter about it sometimes.

It gets easier. I cried to my mum at 2/3 months saying no way I could do it until 6 months. My daughter is 10 months now and still breastfeeding which I never in a million years thought I’d do.

If it is too much for you though just switch to formula, better to have a happy mum, but if you do choose to continue it does get easier.

I also found stopping pumping regularly helped as I think it gave my body a false idea of how much milk to produce.

I did hate it initially but I persevered and glad I did because it did become so much easier.

I hated it. Did it for 6 months with number 1, 3 months with number 2 and 5 months with number 3. Hated every second of it but was too lazy to bother with sterilising bottles so got on with it 😂 when we moved on to bottles I bought pre made formula.
Would probably take the same approach if I had to go through it all again.
Hated being the one source of food and the last resort to stop them crying. Hated the feeling of it too. Lovely cuddles but seriously you get enough of that anyway. Also when I had dc1 it was during a heatwave, I didn’t need any extra heat!

I didn’t mind at first, but as I was out and about more in became more of a hindrance, partly you had to always be wearing feed friendly clothes. My baby wouldn’t take a bottle of any sort because she was too used to bf so I was trapped. This time round I will do about 3 weeks and introduce a bottle. I’m not risking that suffocating feeling again!

I BF all 3 of mine for a year. Hated it at first with my first one as I had no idea what I was doing, ended up with mastitis.

DD1 would not take a bottle after the first few weeks, drove myself crazy trying to persuade her. In the end gave up trying and didn't even attempt a bottle with the next two.

But all of a sudden it became easy and I stuck it out.

I glad I did it but was glad when it was over.

Tried with both of mine. They couldn't, I couldn't. Huge swollen boobs, tiny babies, with small mouths. My nipples bled, they sicked up the blood and milk. Horrendous. Gave up at around 10 days with both. FF was so much easier. I wouldn't have bed shared either anyway, so no loss there. Happy healthy babies, fed every three hours, and slept well.

It has to feel right, and you have to feel comfortable. If not, all is well, and formula is a great alternative.

Do what works best for you, OP. All that matters is that your baby is well fed and gaining weight.

My baby is 6mo and exclusively breastfed. I wouldn't say I hated it, but it made me very emotional in the early days as it's not easy like everyone seems to make out.

For me, it got significantly better around 6-8 weeks when cluster feeding came to an end. Now, I'm really glad I stuck with it. My baby girl is on the 91st percentile (born on the 40th) is is growing big and strong, and I'm proud that's because of my milk. Also, I'd hate having to wash and prepare bottles. And, when baby is angry, bored, wants some comfort, you can just offer the breast 🤣

If you hate it though, absolutely swap to formula. Your baby will grow up lovely and happy either way. Your comfort is more important.

This is pushy.

I had a brilliant health visitor who told me when my son was four months old that I could either enjoy my baby or breastfeed. I wasn't going to get both things because I hated breastfeeding, it was hard and my baby wasn't thriving. Moved him to formula and he was fine and I was happier.

With my second I breastfed until he was three and hated it a lot less.

It's not for every mum, and it's not for every baby.

Nope I love it

I felt like you OP for the first 5-6 weeks with my first. It was bloody agony and it overtook my whole life. When I wasn’t feeding, I was pumping or sat with that lanosil bloody cream on with my tits out to air the cracks. My bra constantly had the pads in and there was often blood from the cracks. I even tried the cabbage leaves. It was rough, but then, everything fell in to place and it became the best thing in the world. I would have a wave of calm wash over me whenever I fed my child, it was so easy to be out and about compared to friends who had bottle warmers, formula to mix up and all that paraphernalia.

When I had my 2nd and 3rd child that first ‘agony’ stage lasted about a day and it was easy from the off.

What was different second time round and why did you hate it first time round?

It's a slog initially but I hated the faff of sterilising, heating, remembering to pack bottles.
I also dislike paying for formula.
For both my kids, after the 8 week mark, breastfeeding became much easier, and I was glad I persevered.

For example, feeds were much shorter, no more milk leaking, easy way to settle upset baby.

However, if you're fed up, go for formula, or even just some top ups that DH can give. I combi-fed DD for a couple of months at the start and my DH adored the extra chance to bond that he never experienced with DS.