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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Help I’m leaving my baby in 2 nights!

39 replies

Mummyggg333 · 10/10/2024 20:21

can somebody give me some advice please? I’m going out for my friends birthday that’s been planned for a while now. My LO is 7 months old and is EBF. He refuses to take a bottle and I’ve tried every bottle there is. I would be leaving the house near his bedtime but He wakes up in the night and wants milk for comfort and seems to be the only way he goes back to sleep. I don’t think it’s because he’s hungry but I just don’t know what to do! I went out for a night when he was 5 months old and he eventually took a bottle after refusing for a while and he slept fine but I’m just worried he’s gotten more fussy. Has anyone experienced this?

OP posts:
PurpleChrayn · 10/10/2024 20:25

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but stay home with your baby. It's not worth the distress for you both.

MarigoldSpider · 10/10/2024 20:32

My ebf baby won’t take a bottle either so I haven’t left her over night. It isn’t fair. I have plans to leave her for a night with people who regularly have her during the day when she will be 14 months but I couldn’t have done it at 7 months.

She will drink water or milk from a cup though. It probably wont help for 2 nights time but you should work on a cup if your LO won’t have a bottle.

Is there any way you could just go for the evening and come home for the overnight? Even if baby has a rough few houses atleast they’ll have you back for the overnight.

Original poster
Mummyggg333 · 10/10/2024 20:41

I get what you are saying but he has had a bottle multiple times when I have not been there for a few hours. The first time I left him for a night my mum would trying to give him a mam bottle as that’s what he’s always used and he wouldn’t take that so she tried him with a different bottle and he took it straight away and slept fine.. my mum has seen him everyday since he’s been born so she’s one of the few that he knows very well. She would never let him go hungry and neither would I. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice as Ive tried him with the bottle he used last time and he is just chewing it but that might be because I am there.

OP posts:
MarigoldSpider · 10/10/2024 20:50

My DD took a bottle less as she got older. At 3 months she would have a bit, by 6 months she would just chew it or refuse completely so we gave up and taught her how to use an open cup.

Autumn456 · 10/10/2024 20:57

I know you really really don’t want to hear this and I empathise with how excited you must be to go and have time for yourself (I was like that to) but I wouldn’t leave a baby without a guaranteed means of them taking milk. I just don’t think it’s fair, and I’m a pretty chilled mum. We had a tough experience as DS took a bottle fine for 4 months alongside breastfeeding. We then didn’t give him one for a few weeks, and after that point he just completely refused. We spent hours and hours trying. I even left him at home with my husband but when he hadn’t taken anything after 7 hours I rushed home to feed him and we didn’t try it again. I was going back to work at 7 months, and we had to get a maternity nurse in for 3 days to help get him back on the bottle. They get more stubborn as they get older from my experience

Original poster
Mummyggg333 · 10/10/2024 20:57

My Problem is he dream feeds throughout the night to get him back to sleep so that’s why it would have to be a bottle as an open cup won’t give him the comfort he needs😭I asked the same question on here a few days ago and a lot of people mentioned a syringe but I don’t think it’s because he’s hungry he just wants the comfort. I’m going to leave him with my mum tomorrow and see if there’s any luck with a new bottle i got today and if not I just won’t go.

OP posts:
MarigoldSpider · 10/10/2024 21:00

Sorry OP I know it’s hard.

Autumn456 · 10/10/2024 21:02

To add - what the nurse did in the end was let the baby play with just the teat for hours. Then dipped it in milk and let him play with that for a few hours. Then the next day tried with milk. It turned out it was a problem where he just would not drink express breast milk out of the bottle, but he would drink formula. Very strange! But that is what eventually worked for us. Oh and an extra extra slow teat because even the mam newborn size made him choke on the milk flow for some reason!

user2848502016 · 10/10/2024 21:05

How long will you be at the party? Can you feed him before bed then be back by the time he needs his next feed?
Tbh I don't see another way around it if he's refusing all bottles and used to night feeds.

Machiavellian · 10/10/2024 21:08

You can't go..end of. It's once in a lifetime. Baby comes first.

Gonegirl7 · 10/10/2024 21:22

I really wouldn’t be going. My DC1 wouldn’t take a bottle from 2 months onwards after a little break. We tried 50+ times. dozens of people tried.

it was my hen party when LO was 9 months and I ended up just doing a day thing and going back at 8pm for baby’s bedtime as he would have just screamed all night

NamelessNinja · 10/10/2024 21:26

I'm really surprised at these replies, and I say this as someone with an EBF 7 months old who also won't take a bottle. If you feed at bedtime and he's fed well during the day then he won't be waking before you get home because he's hungry, (that is assuming you get home at say midnight). You absolutely can go, but obviously knowing that he might well not settle well for whoever he's left with and might realistically cry a lot. However he's definitely not going to starve in a few hours overnight at 7 months! Can you drive and then you can shoot home quickly if he's really upset? This is my plan looking ahead to Christmas nights out.

Mumof2namechange · 10/10/2024 21:27

Am I right in saying it's an overnight thing? Do you actually want to go or are you feeling a bit of peer pressure?

I wouldn't go either if I were you. Good friends will understand.

Another factor is that if you're used to breastfeeding throughout the night, you'll risk mastitis if you don't express at some point in the night. Ie set an alarm at 3am and do it in the bnb or wherever you'll be. Not fun!

Mumof2namechange · 10/10/2024 21:29

If it's just an evening out, I'd do it but only go for 4-5h. Eg leave at 9pm, back at 2am.

MarigoldSpider · 10/10/2024 21:31

@NamelessNinja I interpreted it as OP is going to be away overnight for the full night.

Original poster
Mummyggg333 · 10/10/2024 21:33

I have booked a hotel in the area as I don’t drive but my mum does and the area I’m going is very close to my mums house. I don’t think people are understanding that the last time he was left alone he took a bottle as I wasn’t there.

OP posts:
Elderberrier · 10/10/2024 21:33

I’m another surprised by these replies. Often EBF babies who won’t take bottles, will when they know mum is out the house. My DH used to take baby round the house to show I really wasn’t there! Yes it was uncomfortable for them the first few times I went out but this was part of DH and babies finding their way in their own relationship. And so important for you to get some time to be you. Given it’s evening comfort baby May be looking for, the worst that will happen is they’ll be upset surely? It’s not like they will be starving or thirsty, if they fully refuse milk they can have water and cuddles?

Elderberrier · 10/10/2024 21:34

Mummyggg333 · 10/10/2024 21:33

I have booked a hotel in the area as I don’t drive but my mum does and the area I’m going is very close to my mums house. I don’t think people are understanding that the last time he was left alone he took a bottle as I wasn’t there.

It’s fine then. Worst case, if he’s beside himself, your mum will tell you and you go to him. Most likely, they manage and you get a little something for yourself after 7 months.

Original poster
Mummyggg333 · 10/10/2024 21:39

Thank you!! My mum would never let him go hungry if worst comes to worst I woukd come straight back or like I’ve seen on other posts she would give him milk through a syringe. All these comments are really putting me off. I know he will be fine as he’s with the most caring person m (my mum)

OP posts:
OptimismvsRealism · 10/10/2024 21:46

I think there are a lot of weirdos on this thread

It's obviously fine to go if you want to

Mumof2namechange · 10/10/2024 22:02

Have you ever had mastitis? Its awful. I thought I was beginning to get sepsis again, it made me shiver uncontrollably and my temperature rocketed.

Wanting to avoid mastitis is not being a weirdo, I assure you.

Op if you go to a hotel, I'd take breastpumps with you.

Original poster
Mummyggg333 · 10/10/2024 22:11

When I first had my LO I think I did as I was awfully unwell and he had a feeding tube in and really struggled breastfeeding but I had an overly of milk. I’m hoping for it to be fine as I think they don’t produce a lot in the time frame I’m going anyway but I’ll take one in casen

OP posts:
MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 10/10/2024 22:32

he eventually took a bottle after refusing for a while and he slept fine

Focus on this and go and have a good night out.

UncharteredWaters · 10/10/2024 22:40

Don’t be put off - you have needs as well.

Try a practice run with you in another room/out of sight/hearing/small or book a travel lodge nearby for the night.

The reason I say this is, my niece wouldn’t touch a bottle if DS was even in the house with me. Gone elsewhere and not a bother, downed the lot and slept like a dream.

Often it’s the smell, confusion sets in and bottle refusing.

MSLRT · 10/10/2024 22:45

Can’t you just get a taxi back to your mums as it’s in the same area? Then you will be there if he wakes.

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