Please help! Upset and want to carry on breast feeding

[namechangeforobviousreasons24]

Hello I have an almost 12 week old. Breastfeeding going really well and milk in full flow.

My problem is this. I didn't set out to breastfeed this long and so had planned a night out way in advance for 18th October (next Friday) it's my friends birthday too so double celebrations really. Il be honest, I plan to drink as much as I want and stay out till very late ! I know it's selfish but I really really need this....

I also have a rave booked which my DP very kindly brought me for my birthday present for me and a friend, seeing one of my fave DJs in london in November .

Now my problem is , I know I will definitely drink, there may even be other things involved at the rave. Again I know it sounds selfish but I would never put my baby in danger hence why I'm wanting solid advice on how to go about continuing to breast feed .

Will my milk dry up if I don't pump at all or breastfeed for one evening whilst I let my hair down? Will I be ok to just pump the next day for 24 hours , dump it and then resume breastfeeding after 24 hours?

These are the only two events I have coming up and I want to ENJOY them. I also want my baby to be safe and I would love for this not to affect my breast feeding as I would ideally like to breast feed for six months. Please no judgment I have been as honest as I can!

So not only risk children's service involvement but dismissal from work. I'm all for having fun but it's really not worth. Especially with the real risk of cardiac events. Baffles me how so many people are vocal about how harmful the covid vaccine is yet think nothing of a nose bag at the weekend

And that's the attitude that's the issue. The idea that it's different, the impact will be the same from the same risk.

The ignorance is unbelievable. The biggest growing profile in Rehab is women recreational drug users. But sure that's probably only propaganda.

The UK has a massive issue with so called rec drug users, the stats on drug driving is growing.

They seem to not cop it is funding criminals not Nigel the supplier. But hey ho they're entitled to "enjoy themselves"🤦‍♀️.

To follow up I don't agree with anyone taking drugs whilst breastfeeding or whilst looking after a child.
Maybe my view is 'off', which is why I apologised a moment ago, but I am used to a couple of my friends letting their hair down whilst 'off duty'. I don't partake as I just drink but I still think they are good mums, although some posts have given food for thought.

Nothing wrong at all with drinking while breastfeeding but I absolutely judge you for taking drugs! You have no idea what the drugs you plan to take are cut with - it could be anything at all. Are you honestly so desperate to get off your face that you are willing to risk exposing your child to substances unknown? You can’t just pump and dump as you have no idea how long whatever you are taking will stay in your system. If drugs are your thing then you need to stop breastfeeding.

If you want to go out have a few drinks that's fine. Drugs? Fucking stupid idea. We know the half life of alcohol. We know how long alcohol stays in your blood, how much gets into your milk. Drugs we know the first half.

Alcohol - detectable in blood for approx 12 hours, urine 24 hours.
MDMA (ecstasy) - detectable for 3 days in blood, 4 days urine.
Ketamine - 3 days in blood, 14 days in your urine.

List goes on. Drugs stay in your system far longer than alcohol does - and that's if you know for sure what you're taking.

Also, imagine something happens while you're gone. My friends son would take odd bottle. One day she took her mum out for her birthday, got a call half way through mains that the baby had decided he wouldn't take a bottle any more and was screaming hysterically at home. She had to abandon the meal. If you've drank a lot and you're so hungover you're dehydrated and supply tanked and can't get it back, or you've taken drugs and your baby is screaming at you will it be worth it?

What if your baby got unwell or there was an accident? You don't want to be showing up at the hospital shit faced and high. I'm not saying mums can't go out have fun. But for the very short length of time they're small they deserve their parents being responsible.

Remember your body is quite 'pure' not having had drink or drugs thrust into it for some time.

So don't take as much as you used to as it could make you ill. You won't need as much to have a good time.

I'd skip the drugs altogether tbh. They still kill people. I'd just have a few drinks.

I'm sorry, as I said before. I haven't thought about it from the pov you said. You are right.

I’m a nurse and people literally have died from a one off MDMA pill, even on their first time so no judgement but I couldn’t in all honesty take that risk whilst having such a young baby and it’s up to you to make that informed choice but I don’t think that risk is ever worth it when you have a child, if god forbid that happened, your child would have to grow up with that knowledge

Glad to hear you have reconsidered the drug use, OP.

There is plenty of evidence available on alcohol levels present in breastmilk after certain timeframes, so it should be reasonably straightforward to predict when it is safe to continue breastfeeding your little one after your night out.

There is, however, very little evidence available on the use of illicit drugs and breastfeeding. What drug/drugs were you planning on taking, out of interest?

The National Library of Medicine (US gov endorsed) has this webpage from 2023 discussing the evidence around cocaine use with breastfeeding:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK501588/

To pick out some key points from this page:

• there is a poor evidence base, therefore no one can give you a safe and concrete answer.

• cocaine differs significantly to alcohol in its chemical makeup, therefore it cannot be assumed to be eliminated from breastmilk in a similar way.

• it is assumed high levels pass into the breastmilk.

• newborns can have serious adverse reactions to cocaine exposure because they do not yet have an enzyme needed to break it down.

• one woman who had consumed half a gram of cocaine had detectable levels in her breastmilk for 60 hours after ingesting it.

• it acknowledges the presence of unknown harmful contaminants in cocaine, i.e. it could be cut with anything and you'd have no idea what you were taking alongside the cocaine.

While alcohol consumption alongside breastfeeding can be a measured risk, I think it's really clear that drug use is a huge unknown, with potentially huge harmful effects on your baby.

I hope you enjoy your nights out and manage your alcohol use alongside breastfeeding your little one safely.

I think you've had decent information here about expressing etc.

Dr Wendy Jones has some good info about illicit drugs and breastfeeding on her website. There are cannabis, cocaine etc covered in the Fact Sheets section of https://breastfeeding-and-medication.co.uk/ This is a link to a journal research article written by Dr Jones about cocaine and how it is excreted in breast milk and, later, babies' urine https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26310088/

Alcohol is metabolised reasonably quickly and the general run of thumb is that if you're sober enough to care for your baby then you're sober enough to breastfeed.

Two final points I'll make which haven't been covered - it is ok to not be the same person you were before pregnancy. If you want to do drugs and stay out partying all night, that's totally your call but if you don't fancy it (you're tired or whatever), it doesn't make you boring or a traitor - it makes you human. Also, please, please do not do anything that risks co-sleeping , even accidentally, after these nights out... there are huge risks with sharing a sleep surface after alcohol, drugs, sleeping tablets etc.

Just this
Leaking and discomfort

So breast pads and pumping
Remember it well
Enjoy

I will not stop it. I am usually a live and let live type of person but this set off alarm bells in my soul, hence my strong comment.

@namechangeforobviousreasons24 Well done OP for taking the advice from the posters here on board regarding the drugs.

Just another practical consideration, you do know life insurance and mortgage protection that they may not pay out in the case of death because of drugs?

I can never understand the selfish behaviour and egotistic attitude while fully aware of the absolute devastation and possible financial disaster left behind because "they want to dabble with class As now and again..." . But sure people reckon it doesn't meet the THRESHOLD of social services.

That is right people are looking at the line up to which they can enjoy themselves, where children end up in court system people. 🤦‍♀️

@namechangeforobviousreasons24 I think they would be interested. Plus you post on a public parenting forum so you’re going to get a variety of opinion. However I would assume the majority would agree with me that taking ‘recreational’ drugs and having kids shouldn’t mix. I hope if at any point in the future should you decide to take drugs that it isn’t harmful to you in any way.

I don't understand how you even have the energy to consider a rave and drugs with a 3 month old baby. A night out for me at this point would be a super comfortable hotel with an enormous bed all to myself. Sleep for 8 hours. Bliss.

Seriously, don't do drugs as you don't know the consequences, thank god you've come to your senses on this.

You'll need to pump for your comfort.