Rookie planning on breastfeeding

[NicoleH92]

So I already have a 12 year old (bottle fed) 10 year old (bottle fed but on expressed milk in nicu) and am expecting my 3rd baby 27 weeks.
I want to breastfeed but feel absolutely dumb and clueless. When my daughter was born in nicu I expressed but due to me having to be at home with my oldest I failed miserably and my milk dried up so she was put onto formula.

I want to exclusively breast feed for the first couple of weeks and then want to breast feed and express after that but I have soooo many unanswered questions! The midwife I've spoken to about it wasn't very helpful and I'm just terrified that I'll fail again!
I guess all I'm looking for is any advice/tips on the subject, especially for I the first days of my babies life. What if my milk doesnt come in? He doesn't latch? I don't want to fall back on formula again. I also plan to harvest colostrum if possible. I have a tommee tippee single electric breast pump. Should I have a manual one for in the hospital incase my milk doesnt come in? I know fed is best and I have nothing against formula at all. I'd just love to have a successful breastfeeding journey is all but have my concerns and doubts. Thank you for reading!

I'm absolutely sure you'll be fine this time around. My DCousin FF her first two and then BF her third. A DF has done the same.

Two very good things are that you're older and you know you can survive the newborn stage.

I don't think there's any need to take a pump in with you. Milk generally doesn't come in until about day 3 anyway. If you do want to pump and you're in hospital, you can ask to borrow one of their pumps.

Some things you can do to help to put your mind at rest are:

Put the BFing Helpline numbers in your phone before baby arrives and do ring them as soon as you have a query.

Find your local BFing Support Groups are and go along before you have LO. You'll meet some local Mums and Mums to Be and you'll get to find out where you can get some RL help.

Get familiar with Kellymom. It's a very useful, evidence based, website for BFing Mums and articles like Information is your ally can be really helpful.

I found the book Babycalming very useful too and you can use the techniques whichever way you feed

So the milk not coming in for 3 days is what worries me. What would I do in the meantime to feed him! Thanks so much I'll look into all of the links

When people talk about milk coming in they just mean the change from colostrum to mature milk. Colostrum is perfectly adequate for the first few days - there is no need to top up with anything else.

If you have issues with latching or anything in the first little while you should ask for help from your local infant feeding team. They should be able to help in hospital and also do home visits if needed.

It takes a few days for milk to come in, the colostrum will keep baby going and they will likely spend a lot of time on the breast acting hungry....but don't panic about this, this is part of what encourages milk production, its so clever. Do plenty of skin to skin, eat and drink plenty and just enjoy all those snuggles. It's normal for babies to lose a bit of their birth weight at first which is why this is one of the things they check.

Breastfeeding can be easier than expressing. A latched-on baby is generally much better at drawing from the breast than an awkward, cold, rubbery machine, at least in my experience. You can do this!

Fantastic advice here @NicoleH92 some of the breastfeeding network groups do a pre birth meet up and advice groups, definitely have a Google for your local one.
Bf 1st dc to 2.5
2nd baby born 35 weeks emergency section and got lots of support from infant feeding team in hosp. Best of luck!

You'll have colostrum. Milk coming in is the change from colostrum to the milk you'll have going forward. Colostrum is totally fine to feed a baby for a couple of days - it's what it's designed to do.

I think the biggest adjustment you may need to make is not being focused on the amount that baby will drink. BF babies simply don't need to drink the huge quantities of milk that FF babies need as your milk changes in fat and protein content to suit each stage of their development. So a BF baby doesn't need regular, large quantities of milk to survive.

For the first 3 days you'll just produce colostrum and this meets every need for your baby, their stomachs are tiny at this age.

There is a good guide on what to expect for the first few weeks here

I breasted all of mine with increasing degrees of success. With the first baby it was very difficult and a shock, to be honest (but with that experience behind me, it got easier with each subsequent baby).

I don't have much practical advice, but would say prepare yourself for that baby maybe being permanently attached to you for the first days and weeks, problems with pain, latching, supply, etc. It can be a very difficult and emotional journey to start with but it DOES get easier and all the initial problems should start to subside after a few days/weeks. Just take it one day at a time if it's difficult.

The other thing I learned is that my milk supply diminished towards the end of the day, and also if I was tired, hungry or hadn't drunk enough.

While your body adjusts to the demands of producing milk, you may need to rest, eat and drink a lot! (And if you're short on any of those things, increase the other(s).)

Get a good big cup with a lid/straw as you may need to be drinking as you're feeding (it helps the letdown reflex and you need to drink a lot).

Good luck 🤞🏻

Hi there it's a labour ward midwife with specialist training in breastfeeding. I recently looked after a woman who bottle fed her first 2 children. She had her first very young and had zero interest in breastfeeding back then. She wasn't encouraged to breastfeed at all with her 2nd, everyone just assumed she would bottle feed which she did. I looked after her in labour and when the baby was born I told her " why wouldn't you treat breastfeeding like an adventure? You can stop any time ". I went to see her on the postnatal ward 3 days later. She was beaming with pride. She told me "I have brought 18 bottles of formula with me and didn't use them, not a single one". I used to volunteer in breastfeeding support group for 3 years. You have been given excellent advice so far in the thread. I will post some excellent videos shortly. However I was wanted to give you a bit of encouragement. It could be done

https://globalhealthmedia.org/topic/breastfeeding/

La leche league are trained breastfeeding volunteer counsellors and run group support meetings.

laleche.org.uk/find-lll-support-group/

It can be really helpful to go to a meeting when you are pregnant to see other mums feeding babies of different ages, meet the counsellor running the group, ask questions abs listen to the questions of other mums.

All very supportive and a lovely atmosphere to have a circle of women supporting each other.

Try and go a couple of times, they run once a month usually

That's such an excellent resource @Kosenrufugirl. I've honestly never seen that link before

You can do it! There is so much support out there. When you are still in hospital ask for support from the feeding team, as much as you can. Baby will be fed from colostrum before milk comes in it is magic stuff they only need a tiny amount, I didn't harvest with either of mine but just used a syringe for the first couple of days while working on latch

Remember you and baby will be learning to breastfeed together, it will get easier as they get bigger and better at latching and then it's super convenient because you always have your boobs with you

I think most women’s milk doesn’t come in for 3-4 days. Mine came after 3 days with DC1. I BF my kids for 6 months plus. You need lots of skin to skin, lots of patience, eat well and nutritious, drink tons of water, a feeding pillow (or at least try), nipple cream and lots of sofa time. It’s hard but you can do it if you persevere.

Thank you so much to everybody! You have all eased my mind. I think the lack of knowledge and support when having my daughter is what ultimately made me throw in the towel after my milk disappearing! I'm hopeful for this time. It's been 10 years since having a baby so I want to give it my all this time! I'll be hopefully harvesting the colostrum from 37 weeks so I'm sure I'll have enough to see us through! Again, thank you all xx

You can harvest colostrum if you want to but don't be disappointed if you don't get much out. I could never, ever express much at all with my first but he was a chubby little thing so he was much better at getting the milk out than me

And I think they only take around a teaspoon at each feed in the first couple of days so if you are harvesting, don't think you have to be getting a lot out

In all likelihood you will have enough colostrum just from feeding. So don't worry if you can't harvest any.

If the lack of information was a factor last time too see if you can read this book before LO arrives. It might help

https://laleche.org.uk/get-support/#bfinfo

Knowledge is power

My biggest advice would be to find yourself some good breastfeeding support now. Midwives have limited training in breastfeeding so can sometimes inadvertently make things worse, and you don’t want to be having to try and research support with a newborn. And do your research on things such as cluster feeding, at a few days and few weeks old it’s totally normal for your baby to want to feed every half hour. It’s how they establish your supply, it doesn’t mean you aren’t making enough milk. I had so many comments from FF mums when cluster feeding that feeding that frequently wasn’t normal, so it’s definitely worth understanding the differences so you don’t panic this is different to your other babies

It’s really hard in the early weeks, but once it’s established I think it’s far easier than FF. We combi fed from 6 months, and that one bottle of formula a day was far more hassle than all the BF. With BF there’s no faff boiling and cooling water, sterilising bottles, taking all the stuff out with you

Just want to say you can absolutely do this, believe in yourself! Your amazing body has conceived, gestated and will birth your lovely baby, believe in your ability to breastfeed too! Keep that baby in your arms and skin to skin, get support with positions/latching etc if you need it. If it doesn’t click straight away it doesn’t mean you are failing or doing it wrong, remember you and baby have never done this before and are learning together. I’m writing this as I bf my sleeping baby, it’s the best!

OP, knowledge is everything here. It's brilliant that you are preparing now. I'd definitely recommend trying to go to a La Leche meeting if you can and just building a support network now so that if you do have, or think you have, any issues when your baby is here, it will be easier to get help.

Breastfeeding is so much easier than pumping as your baby is much more efficient than a pump but if you have previously bottle fed then there is a little bit of a leap of faith as you won't be able to see how much milk your baby is having but you will quickly understand how to rely on weight gain and wet nappies to feel confident all is ok.

Also, if you do top up or mix feed, a baby will always guzzle from a bottle because it is so much easier for them. Breastfeeding requires them to use many more muscles (which has a positive impact on oral muscle development).

Another thing which is crucial to know is that around 6 weeks your supply will settle down and switch to "on demand". Overnight your boobs will deflate and this when many mums think their milk has dried up but it's absolutely not a problem.

You might also find this graphic helpful to know and understand why many newborns are accused of "snacking".

Regarding colostrum harvesting, make sure you express with your hands, not a pump. Colostrum is in such small quantities, it will get lost in the pump parts and also the way a pump works is not that effective. Express into a sterilised cup and then draw it out with a syringe, or, straight with a syringe (I held the syringe to the nipple, I got quite good at it after a while). Then put syringe in freezer.

It did save me having the expressed colostrum because baby and I were separated for 5 hours after my c section. If I didn't have colostrum with me, they would have had to give him formula (not the end of the world but not ideal).

Beware that baby has an instinct to keep sucking so even if you feed him lots of expressed colostrum, he will still want the boob!!

My milk took FIVE days to come in, which is in the normal stats for a c section. But it meant that for those five days I got no sleep. Baby was on my boob constantly sucking. So be prepared for it!