Rookie planning on breastfeeding

[NicoleH92]

So I already have a 12 year old (bottle fed) 10 year old (bottle fed but on expressed milk in nicu) and am expecting my 3rd baby 27 weeks.
I want to breastfeed but feel absolutely dumb and clueless. When my daughter was born in nicu I expressed but due to me having to be at home with my oldest I failed miserably and my milk dried up so she was put onto formula.

I want to exclusively breast feed for the first couple of weeks and then want to breast feed and express after that but I have soooo many unanswered questions! The midwife I've spoken to about it wasn't very helpful and I'm just terrified that I'll fail again!
I guess all I'm looking for is any advice/tips on the subject, especially for I the first days of my babies life. What if my milk doesnt come in? He doesn't latch? I don't want to fall back on formula again. I also plan to harvest colostrum if possible. I have a tommee tippee single electric breast pump. Should I have a manual one for in the hospital incase my milk doesnt come in? I know fed is best and I have nothing against formula at all. I'd just love to have a successful breastfeeding journey is all but have my concerns and doubts. Thank you for reading!

I breast fed my first for about 6 weeks and second 2 months. I wish now I'd been more aware of people who could support me when it got tough instead of throwing the towel in. Please do reach out for help if you need it

Sometimes your milk doesn't come in for a week. That's absolutely fine. Colostrum provides all your baby's needs until then. Expressing colostrum is entirely up to you, I never expressed a drop and breastfed for 3 years.

Expressing milk isn't recommended before 6 weeks as it can lead to an oversupply. It's also very time consuming as you need to pump to coincide with every feed, which is extra important at night.

I would recommend you get yourself into some good antenatal classes, like NCT or similar, and maybe do a course on ABM or NCT on breastfeeding because it sounds like you're quite anxious and could benefit from some solid education on what to expect.

For example, loads of women get to a few weeks in, cluster feeding starts and they think baby is "too hungry" and switch to formula, when in fact that's normal baby behaviour.

I have exclusively breastfed my baby who is now 10 months. I was very lucky he made it easy for me. Latched well from the off, no issues with mastitis or blocked ducts etc.

The second I started trying to express I got supply/ discomfort issues. Blocked ducts on days I didn't express if I had the couple days before. My nipples hurt. Then baby got diagnosed with allergies so I had to dump everything and restart on an exclusion diet. Twice. Because another allergy was found. At that point I stopped expressing completely and all my blocked duct issues etc disappeared completely (before I was getting 2 a week and they fucking hurt).

Doing it again I really recommend a proper breastfeeding class. See if there is a charity in your area running one. In mine they even come help you in hospital. I'd also not pump for a while. Let your supply and baseline settle in. If you start pumping and suddenly have issues, you may be like me and just don't get along with pumping! Also almost everyone I know that combi fed or expressed stopped breastfeeding entirely by 6 weeks. The only ones that continued only ever gave milk from the breast from day 1.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but I personally think it makes it harder on establishing supply etc and society instantly assumes any and all baby ailments are a supply issue, which they rarely are. You see they seem more 'settled' after a bottle (because you don't give them that cluster feeding, supply establishing signals) so you assume your milk isn't good enough and you swap to formula or supply dwindles as you haven't had that supply boosting cluster feeding.

If you are happy to swap to formula all good. Feed your baby the way you want. But breastfeeding is HARD, especially in the early days. Eventually it got very easy for me. But it does take a huge amount of commitment through the cluster feeding and sleep deprivation at the beginning, right when you really don't feel up to it. Whether you want to do it is personal choice.

My experience echoes @FlyingHighFlyingLow . Because pumps are so good nowadays and heavily advertised, for some reason everyone assumes you will pump and you almost feel pressure to try it. But in practice I found them to be just more work for the mother for little return and they are just not as efficient as the baby!

If you manage to exclusively breastfeed, by weeks 6-8 it becomes easier and your supply settles. For example, I didn't get horribly sore boobs at night and milk everywhere whenever baby slept an extra hour longer. Like my body actually learnt how much to produce and settled nicely. I could easily have interpreted that as my milk drying up if my lactation consultant hadn't told me to expect it.

Re pumping - it's not a good idea to pump until at day 3 when the milk changes. Until then the amounts (colostrum) are very small, but it is very nutritious for the baby, so the baby doesn't need masses and masses.

Collect it in small plastic syringes instead. You can buy these online (search 'expressing syringes') or your CMW might give them out.

You can also do this before baby comes, from 36 weeks. Them you can store it in the freezer, take some to hospital with you, so if you have trouble, you have got something to tide you over.

Would strongly recommend doing this before baby - my friend managed to store 80-100 syringes seriously. Partly because of the stored milk, and also being familiar with how her milk worked, even when he lost some weight she was able to carry on feeding. Because she was able to:

1. Top up with the milk she had stored already.
2. Understood how to hand express/pump to get extra - therefore not introduce formula, which would have reduced her own supply.

I volunteer at a BF support group - I suggest finding a good one now (preferably IBCLC led) and visiting - we love seeing pregnant mums, and it will help you to know where to park, what the format is etc.

Your milk should come in within 72 hours. Until then your body makes colostrum. This is an immune transfer which completes your baby's immune system - it is MAGIC stuff, super high in proteins and salts. Babies are born with fat reserves to get them through the first couple of days (which is why they will lose a bit of weight).

Day 2 can feel like your baby is starving as they wake up a bit post birth and constantly feed to get your milk in. This is normal! You are not starving your baby, but it might feel a bit desperate! It's so expected that in our postnatal ward we have a handout for mothers about the second night!

Congratulations first of all! Don't give yourself pressure, it may and probably will be all different this time round,a lot will have change medically I'm sure. My fist bor is now 15 and was born 11 days late by emergency ceasarian,ecv as he was breech too! He had strep b when bor and we were on scbu for 10 days ( over xmas) I expressed for him for 6 months as he was too weak to breast feed ,then he went onto formula. Our second child is now 12 ,she was born by elective ceasarian 9 days early (because her brother was in feotal distress foe the EC!) she was breathing fed,although difficult to start off we succeeded and she never took a bottle! Good luck with everything ,the support is there for you whatever happens 🌺