Breastfeeding in front of 5 year old stepson

[Hsolley0904]

I’ve got a 5 week old baby and she’s EBF. Throughout my pregnancy we told him how the baby gets milk from my breasts (he was very intrigued as to what she would eat, suggesting porridge etc 😂). He would mention that it was weird - we reiterated to him that it’s not and it’s very normal and lots of animals feed their babies this way.

Im very comfortable getting my breasts out to feed wherever and whenever as I don’t think women should ever feel like they can’t - I also have an incredibly hungry baby so she feeds A LOT. He makes me feel like I shouldn’t.

Since baby was born, he’s carried on saying it’s weird and recently asked me to do it in another room because he doesn’t want to watch. Again he is only 5. We’ve tried to explain again that it’s just the baby having her dinner etc but he’s making me feel awful. I enjoy breastfeeding and tbh it’s about the only thing I do at the moment. I suffer with PPD and isolating myself to a room all day to feed her is not going to work for me.

can anyone suggest how I might approach this with him?

Given op said baby is feeding loads, you really think she should have to hide herself and her daughter away from the family to do something perfectly natural?

Op is just persist with "it's not weird Toby, it's what Jessie needs. Why don't you go and .... Draw, play Lego, wat h some cartoons" etc.

Do you know if Mom bf him? DH would obviously know, if so you could point out to him that he also did it.

But also think Dad needs to be setting some form boundaries on things we don't say. It's rude to comment in this way and he needs to be gently reprimanded and distracted, not indulged.

Yeah exactly. I don't think it's so strange that he's feeling like this. A new sibling is a lot, and breastfeeding is something the baby does a lot that he doesn't do at all.

Lots of reassurance, lots of involving him, lots of attention for him, all that new big brother stuff and I'm sure he'll be fine.

I don't care who it is, breastfeeding is a normal thing to do and I will feed my baby when and where she needs it. It's easy to do so discreetly. I would just tell him that this is how baby gets her milk and, if it makes him uncomfortable, he is welcome to leave the room himself. I think it's important children learn to see breastfeeding as normal and natural and accept it. I wouldn't be covering up with a cloth either. I don't want to eat under a hot blanket, neither does my baby. Mine would just have pulled it off anyway.

This if he doesn't want to watch he could go to his bedroom to play.

Tell him that if he doesn't like it then he needs to remove himself. If everyone just looked away from things that "offend" them then the world would revolve far more smoothly.

This is a brilliant idea, thank you!

Ahh I only called her bio mum for the post, stepson doesn’t call me mum, and I would never try to fill that role to him.
I still don’t understand all of these mumsnet abbreviations.

Youtube videos are a great idea,

I’ve been a part of his life since before he could walk. I don’t think discounting someone as a parental figure/guardian to a child because they’re not related is fair.

have you ever tried to get a young child not disrupt your bath! I don’t think I’ve had a peaceful one in years! He likes to come in and tell me a story about something that happened years ago!

No, what's insane is that a woman isn't free to feed her baby without criticism especially in her own home!
I wouldn't say that I breastfed my children "in front" of anyone as that implies some kind of performance, that you are deliberately showing something to someone and I never did that. But I fed my children in the presence of all kinds of people, including my father in law who didn't bat an eyelid and would almost certainly have had strong words with anyone who had criticised me. But then he's a rational human being with no strange hang ups about babies being fed by their mothers when they're hungry.
OP - as others have suggested I would think that this is at least in part a manifestation of insecurity on the part of your stepson. Even if he's not showing other signs, it will be an unsettling time for him. It's a big change for older siblings, especially if they've been a singleton for quite a long time and that's without the added issues of a blended family. I would play it down. Don't give in to his requests for you to move but don't make a big deal of it, and make sure he is getting plenty of attention in other ways. Hopefully things will soon settle.

@Hsolley0904

i realised you probably only said bio on here, but it usually (on here) gets your arse handed to you on a plate! big time.

Mumsnet abbreviations are really Internet abbreviations the D is just to make them stand out from a random capital letter, sometimes people thing D dear or (dickhead!)

DH - husband
DW - wife

DD - daughter
DS - son

DS1 first son
DS (4) son who is four, but people do muddle them up and context becomes everything!!

same with things like DS
sister WAS Dsis, now people shorten it to DS (which confuses with son)

etc etc mostly now it's context!

DSS step son

but it gets bitchy around that too now if you're not actually married.

just do your best x

Thank you so much!! This makes so much sense know I know what they stand for!!

it’s such a minefield on here. Xx

Sesame street (decades ago) used to have a woman breastfeeding a baby explaining about it.
I got alot of my knowledge from there as a child.

@Hsolley0904

...never used to be, but it's changed a lot. It's fairly horrible now at times, BUT there's absolutely no where like it when the chips are really down.